I'm a retired teacher and I supervised teenagers for 22 years in computer labs. Teens can not decide "how much" is appropriate. That ranges from driving speed, computer use, language, money..........whatever. They don't have the life experience to decide those things for themselves so you, as the parent, must do it for them.
For over two decades, I saw the "good" kids-cheerleaders, FB players, and academics pull scams on their parents because they were trusted and the parents assumed that they would do the right thing. That's horseshxt. Check, verify, recheck and investigate. They'll hate that but as long as they live under your roof, that is your job. Their lives depend on it and if they survive, they will become exactly that type of parent themselves. They will swear they won't....but they will parent with a strong hand. It may be 20 years later, but they will one day admit that you were right.
Flash
"Trust, but verify."
-Ronald Reagan
Let me just say this...I'm 23, my mom is 41, she is friends on my FB with me, and still gives me shit about stuff she reads on there from friends or if I've been out drinking more than once a week! haha
But she is also in Ohio!
No one on here has shown signs of this, but removed from my teens not too long ago, just don't shelter your kids. Trust me, they know A LOT more about certain stuff than you'd like to know! (Ex. Sex, drugs)
Personally the best kinds of parents are ones that are just down to earth and let their kids know that, and that their kids can talk to them about ANYTHING without being afraid of the punishment. If the child can trust you to not fly off the handle because they tried a cigarette, or a pinch of skoal, or sipped some beer, you will have an awesome relationship with your kid. If they do something wrong, its better to not ground them from every electronic device, but rather just talk to them about their decision and convey to them why they shouldn't make the same mistake again.
Interested in your thoughts and opinions.
... I saw the "good" kids-cheerleaders, FB players, and academics pull scams on their parents because they were trusted and the parents assumed that they would do the right thing. That's horseshxt. Check, verify, recheck and investigate. They'll hate that but as long as they live under your roof, that is your job. Their lives depend on it and if they survive, they will become exactly that type of parent themselves. They will swear they won't....but they will parent with a strong hand. It may be 20 years later, but they will one day admit that you were right.
Flash
Let me just say this...I'm 23, my mom is 41, she is friends on my FB with me, and still gives me shit about stuff she reads on there from friends or if I've been out drinking more than once a week! haha
But she is also in Ohio!
No one on here has shown signs of this, but removed from my teens not too long ago, just don't shelter your kids. Trust me, they know A LOT more about certain stuff than you'd like to know! (Ex. Sex, drugs)
Very interesting comments.
My daughter is 15 and has not given us a lick of trouble....
Thoughts? Facebook and teens are both a pain in the a$$.
Ding Ding Ding. We have a winner. Your job is to raise them, not to be their friend. If you have a daughter, there is no such thing as "he's a good boy". he's just after one thing and there's no use pretending he's not. There's also no reason to try and be polite or friendly to your little girls boyfriends. They have their role, you have yours. Why pretend it's any different?
Please do me a favor and print your quote out and save it. I'll let you in on a little secret. One day when you get really, really old and have kids that become teenagers, you'll still remember everything you do now about high school. Then you get to worry that your kids will try and pull the same stuff you did, or heard about when you were that age.
I've never understood why kids assume their parents are really that clueless.
I feel for you. I've been down that road, and thank God, come out successfully on the other side. It was Yahoo chat, and later Myspace back then, but the principles are still the same. And I don't think it only pertains to Facebook. Your little angel / pain in the but is going to make some wrong decisions, do things she knows is wrong and will piss you off, and basically be stupid and also test the boundaries like every other kid.
Yes I believe you should monitor facebook, check the cell phone records to make sure she's not up all night texting / calling her friends, enforce a curfew, verify where she is going and that she went there, be a royal pain in her behind and make her hate you, but do your best to communicate with her and teach her right from wrong, not just lecture or scream at her.
You're entering the home stretch now and it's time she gets treated as both a child and an adult. It's also your last chance to teach her all of life's lessons. And FYI, she'll grow up before you've finished teaching her what you think she needs to know.
There is a TV commercial running now by either Toyota or Nissan (can't remember which), anyway it involves a girl that just moved out of the house & she is concerned for her parents well being, as SHE has hundreds of friends on Facebook & her Parents only have like 19.
She is assuming they are pining away for her (due to lack of FB friends) when in reality they are shown as going out dancing, bike riding & living life while she just sits at her laptop......gotta see it to be funny.
ETA: I do not have a FB account.
Let me just say this...I'm 23, my mom is 41, she is friends on my FB with me, and still gives me shit about stuff she reads on there from friends or if I've been out drinking more than once a week! haha
But she is also in Ohio!
No one on here has shown signs of this, but removed from my teens not too long ago, just don't shelter your kids. Trust me, they know A LOT more about certain stuff than you'd like to know! (Ex. Sex, drugs)
Personally the best kinds of parents are ones that are just down to earth and let their kids know that, and that their kids can talk to them about ANYTHING without being afraid of the punishment. If the child can trust you to not fly off the handle because they tried a cigarette, or a pinch of skoal, or sipped some beer, you will have an awesome relationship with your kid. If they do something wrong, its better to not ground them from every electronic device, but rather just talk to them about their decision and convey to them why they shouldn't make the same mistake again.
Yo, send it to me on Facebook, would ya?
I am not on FB, but my wife keeps tabs on what is happening there. My kids know she looks, and she is very good at communicating with our children about what happens on there. We let our children figure out the little problems life brings, but we interject when we foresee a big problem coming. Luckily this hasn't happened very often.You can be honest AND snoop. You simply tell them you will snoop.
Be sure your wife has her log in and actually signs in as your daughter. Otherwise, by just being her Facebook friend and viewing your daughter profile page you will only know about 1/10 of it. Teens seem to tell each other everything.I am not on FB, but my wife keeps tabs on what is happening there. My kids know she looks, and she is very good at communicating with our children about what happens on there. We let our children figure out the little problems life brings, but we interject when we foresee a big problem coming. Luckily this hasn't happened very often.
Agreed. But that does not stop, ever.We can only give our children the tools for life, it is up to them to use them.
I've found that most of the interesting things are communicated through instant messaging and not so much what's posted on the page.Be sure your wife has her log in and actually signs in as your daughter. Otherwise, by just being her Facebook friend and viewing your daughter profile page you will only know about 1/10 of it. Teens seem to tell each other everything.
I've found that most of the interesting things are communicated through instant messaging and not so much what's posted on the page.
Oh yeah.
I'll tell ya'll something else. I have notified parent's of other kids things I have seen their kids do. I want to know.