Hurley's Gold

Thursday Joke Thread

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  • Charlie

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    Mar 19, 2008
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    'Top of the hill, Kerr County!
    rdnk.jpg
     

    Charlie

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    'Top of the hill, Kerr County!
    Subject: Will I live to see 85

    For all of us of a certain age .. Here's something to think about...
    I recently had to choose a new primary care doctor.
    After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, she said I was doing fairly well for my age. (I am past seventy).
    A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking her, 'Do you think I'll live to be 85?'
    She asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?'
    'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
    Then she asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?'
    'I said, 'Not much... My former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'
    'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'
    'No, I don't,' I said.
    She asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'
    'No,' I said ...

    She looked at me and said, 'Then, why do you even give a shit?
     

    Charlie

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    'Top of the hill, Kerr County!
    NEW High School Teacher

    After retiring, a Marine Corps Gunnery Sergeant took a new job as a high school teacher.

    Just before the school year started, he injured his back. He was required to wear a light plaster cast around the upper part of his body.

    Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable when he wore his suit coat.

    On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school.

    The smart-a** punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and he knew they would be testing his discipline in the classroom.

    Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk.

    With a strong breeze blowing, it made his tie flap. He picked up a stapler and stapled the tie to his chest.

    Dead
    Silence .

    The rest of the year went smoothly.
     

    BRD@66

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    Jan 23, 2014
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    Liberty Hill
    NEW High School Teacher

    After retiring, a Marine Corps Gunnery Sergeant took a new job as a high school teacher.

    Just before the school year started, he injured his back. He was required to wear a light plaster cast around the upper part of his body.

    Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable when he wore his suit coat.

    On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school.

    The smart-a** punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and he knew they would be testing his discipline in the classroom.

    Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk.

    With a strong breeze blowing, it made his tie flap. He picked up a stapler and stapled the tie to his chest.

    Dead
    Silence .

    The rest of the year went smoothly.
    Outstanding!
     
    Every Day Man
    Tyrant

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