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Chili Contest in DFW.

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  • bigwheel

    Active Member
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    Oct 19, 2018
    993
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    Fort Worth
    Hopefully this hasnt already been metioned but on the last Saturday in January a big event will be conducted at Broncos Sports Grill in Hurst. It wil be sanctioned by the Texas Chili Association (TCA) entry fee 25 bucks. The rules for TCA contests are borrowed mostly from CASI. So if anybody knows those rules it will be easy. Cooked onsite..no beans or floaters etc. As opposed to CASI we cook for money..lol. The head judge drags 10% of the entry fees on the front end to buy supplies...excluding any added money donated by the host location. Whatever remains get split up among the top finishers 50-30-20 plus an appropriate ribbon or medal etc. Yall run buy some chili powder and dust off the coleman stoves. Holler by PM if anybody has an interest to come by to cook..judge...or swig a few brewskis. Thanks.
    http://broncossportsbar.com/
    chili trophy.jpg
    Hurley's Gold
     

    Orbie

    Born Texan
    Rating - 100%
    7   0   0
    Feb 21, 2011
    2,490
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    San Antonio
    I have to post this. I think of it anytime I hear about a chili cook off.

    "TEXAS CHILI COOKOFF"

    (If you can read this whole story without tears of laughter running down your cheeks then there's no hope for you! *Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better! For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time the Rodeo comes to town. It takes up a major portion of the parking lot at the Astrodome.

    The notes are from an inexperienced Chili taster named "FRANK", who was visiting Texas from the East Coast:

    Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili
    cook-off. The Judge #3 called in sick at the last moment and I happened
    to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the
    Budweiser truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two
    judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and,
    besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I
    accepted."

    Here are the scorecards from the event:

    Chili # 1 Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili:
    Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
    Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
    Judge # 3 -- (Frank) Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could
    remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

    Chili # 2 Arthur's Afterburner Chili
    Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
    Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
    seriously.
    Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what
    I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who
    wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

    Chili # 3 Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili
    Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.
    Judge # 2 -- A bean less chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.
    Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all of the beer.

    Chili # 4 Bubba's Black Magic
    Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
    Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or
    other mild foods, not much of a chili.
    Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB. bitch is starting to look HOT .... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is
    chili an aphrodisiac?

    Chili # 5 Linda's Legal Lip Remover
    Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
    Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must
    admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
    Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks!

    Chili # 6 Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety
    Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
    Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb!
    Judge #3-- I shit myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat
    through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips
    anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone.

    Chili # 7 Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili
    Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
    Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of
    chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried
    about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing
    uncontrollably.
    Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava like poop to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

    Chili # 8 Tommy's Toe-Nail Curling Chili
    Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too
    bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
    Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild
    nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed
    out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure
    if he's going to make it. Poor dude, wonder how he'd have reacted to
    really hot chili?
     

    sharkey

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    Feb 25, 2013
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    TX HD down the street from Broncos jist uad a chili cookoff 2 weeks ago. 12 entries and most with the exception of 2 were pretty good. No beans??? I voted for a venison chili with beans.
    I'd go but the no beans thing is a killer for me. I was a judge one time for chili cookoff for Eurocopter and gag, there was some nasty stuff I tried.

    Sent from my SM-T380 using Tapatalk
     

    dfwpi

    Member
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    Dec 26, 2016
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    May have to check that out. Just had lunch there today.

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    bigwheel

    Active Member
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    Oct 19, 2018
    993
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    Fort Worth
    Thought we seen some exotic looking person in there just today. Thats special..lol. I had two tacos for brunch. We have it within the rules to have an outlaw contest anytime somebody wants to run the idea past the board of directors..and put some money in the kitty and tell us whether we should add butter beans or kidney beans....lol. Let us have one again in Febuary at the place the outlaw chili afficonados choose.
     

    bigwheel

    Active Member
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    0   0   0
    Oct 19, 2018
    993
    46
    Fort Worth
    Never tried that. Have usually did it in reverse and put the chili on the tamales. In fact that is what we plan to have to munch around on Christmas Day. The hispanic lady next door has a friend that is supposed to have 12 dozen ready on Sat morning. 4 doz for us and the rest for some pals. We got a couple as a sample and they were pretty close to being full of thick chili. hmmm
     
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