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  • karlac

    Lately too damn busy to have Gone fishin' ...
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    Aug 21, 2013
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    Houston & Hot Springs
    Herded too many cows into a working chute growing up.
    The similarity is unmistakable.

    Served this country when called upon to do so and I'll be damned if I'll now stand in line to be patted down by an ignorant drone paid to do so in lieu of welfare, take off my shoes for anyone, or be subjected to be herded like sheep in the name of "security".

    If I can't drive or walk, I don't go.
    Capitol Armory ad
     

    SQLGeek

    Muh state lines
    Rating - 100%
    4   0   0
    Sep 22, 2017
    9,591
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    Richmond
    20 years ago sounds right. I remember things being saner when I was a teenager.

    TSA Pre Check is worth every dime. I just sailed through security at LaGuardia without having to take anything out of my bags or my shoes off. And no backscatter machine either.
     

    kbaxter60

    "Gig 'Em!"
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    Jan 23, 2019
    9,902
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    Pipe Creek
    I avoid flying at all costs. It's a joke nowadays.
    Okay, you HAD to make me think about TSA. I have two stories on them:

    1. The Terrorist Chicken
    We were visiting my parents, who live near Hondo. My daughter asked my mom for a fertilized chicken egg to "take home and hatch". Mom put one in a margarine container and we hand carried it on the way home. We get to the checkpoint and they ask what it is. "A chicken egg". A quick "That can't go on the plane."
    "Wait, that's BIRDS. No birds on the plane." More and more blue shirts came over and almost every one asked "what kind of egg?". "chicken". They huddled up to discuss it. We were getting bored and about to miss our flight, so we just walked on through and left. For all I know they are still talking about it.

    2. The Terrorist Ink
    On a business trip, maybe four or five days after 9/11. New York, I think. I am with a buddy on the trip. The guy in front of us gets stopped at the checkpoint. "What is THAT?". It was a Bic style pen, except about half the normal length. So, a shorty pen. The guy takes it out of his computer bag and holds it up to the light. It has a clear barrel and you can see the ink inside. "You can't take that on the plane; it contains a liquid." He tosses it in the trash.
    Next, he eyeballs my buddy and waves him through. He was carrying a duffel bag that would have been a bomb maker's dream. It had cell phones, batteries, cable harnesses, connectors, software on disks (we sold test equipment for the cell phone industry). I mean, it was packed chock full. They didn't even look at it. In ya go!
     

    Brains

    One of the idiots
    Rating - 100%
    3   0   0
    Apr 9, 2013
    6,904
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    Spring
    I must not trip the TSA's trigger, I am the guy they nearly always ignore and wave through. I even got SSSSelected once, at LAX of all places, and the TSA guy looked genuinely confused. My secondary screening consisted of sitting and chatting for a few minutes, and a half second "pass" with the metal detector wand.

    Pro tip: Moving your seat 5 times at the kiosk down the stairs from the security checkpoint will flag you for secondary screening :D
     

    baboon

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    May 6, 2008
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    Out here by the lake!
    Back when I was doing the SCI convention I flew into Vegas with a bearded South African, we had oneway tickets, & my carry on bag (also used for shooting bag tested positive for explosives) talk about a clusterF*#k!
     

    AustinN4

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    Nov 27, 2013
    9,853
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    Austin
    TSA Pre Check is worth every dime. I just sailed through security at LaGuardia without having to take anything out of my bags or my shoes off. And no backscatter machine either.
    My experiences as well. Except I will say that my PreCheck and Global Entry were free as my most used airline reimbursed the cost to me due to my FF status.
     
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    baboon

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    May 6, 2008
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    Out here by the lake!
    Then there was the time when headed to Africa on safari the TSA tribeswomen felt it was important to dump my box of various .416 handloads. She also thought the loose bullets counted as ammo.
     

    FireInTheWire

    Caprock Crusader
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    Took a trip to Cali with my older brother. After beaching all day, walked to our rental car, ticket in the window. Rental car.... out of state visitor... needless to say. Ticket wen't in the trash.

    2yrs goes by... my brother opens a letter in the mail. It's Cali wanting their money from the parking ticket. Lol... he sent it too...
     

    FireInTheWire

    Caprock Crusader
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    Used to work in the financial industry and every single time we had to deal with the SEC, whether regular audits or something else, it was a complete fucking shakedown. Could be clean as a whistle and they would find something, oftentimes manufactured or completely made up. And they were never shy about reminding you how they could put you out of business even though most of the auditors I dealt with were complete neophytes and maybe a year or two out of college, but on a rampage. Reminded me of a former IRS worker who told me one time how the more they collected, the more they made. Even if it wasn't owed. Fear was their biggest asset.

    Customs.....don't get me started.

    Honeymoon, we get searched (which they said is random, but would be quick) in Miami. But we had to wait so long for them to begin their quick search that we missed our connecting flight to Dallas, had to stay an extra night, which we had to pay for, and both missed getting back to work.

    Last time the wife and I left the country, we were coming back through customs at DFW. Get to the line and there's at least 1K people in front of us and those on our flight, so probably 4-5 planeloads of people in line with the line snaked around and out the door.....with ZERO agents at their stations to process people. Asked a couple of people and they said it had been like that for at least an hour. It was literally standing still with not a thing happening. Finally after we'd been in line for a half hour or so, every single customs agent (8-10) came out to their post at the same time and began processing people through. Turns out they'd all been on their lunch break at the same time and let the line get so long that it took 5 hours for us to get processed. Had someone picking us up at 1:30 and finally texted them to forget it and we Uber'd home at after 6:00.

    Always amazes me when people think the government and/or federal bureaucracy is the answer to anything. Corrupt, profitless, and inefficient.
    Although the week my wife and I spent in Mo'orea was incredible, I will never come through customs in LAX again in my life! What a slap in the face after the most relaxing week of my life.
     

    Army 1911

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    Mar 17, 2008
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    Dallas Texas or so
    Ten years after he died, my grandfather was getting new parking tickets. My father tried to clear up the issue partly because the car ticketed was never in the family (stolen plates nine years expired). Eventually they sent a cop with a warrant. Dad said he wasn't here but he would take him to where he was. Showed the cop granddaddy's grave and told the cop to start shoveling.
     

    deemus

    my mama says I'm special
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    Feb 1, 2010
    15,586
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    DFW
    I think every gubment dept has good employees and bad employees. But I think the bad is made worse by the fact that the job is really secure. Like you have to do something really bad before you get fired. But the post office seems to have the highest percentage of EEs that just don't care.

    I have had great service by local and state agencies, the IRS, SS Admin. And I have had people "assist" me that didn't give a rip.

    Only gripe I had was when a family member passed I was in charge making things happen. The SS Admin refused to send a partial month of benefits after they jerked the entire balance out of the guy's bank account. I made a couple calls and realized I was farting into the wind.
     

    Dad_Roman

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    Apr 1, 2018
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    Teague
    OK. Seems to be TSA around here so here is a few quick ones.

    Flown quite a bit. Flew once a week out of NOLA after the hurricane. Started flying the day it opened with one flight and it took months to get up to about a dozen flights a day.
    Only one TSA agent for the morning headouts. Hit one morning and they werent there or something and the line was long and I was only giving myself a 30 min window anyways cause there usually wasnt anyone (passengers) there. Anyways, cleared with about 10 min to go. Thought I was ok, got to the gate, nobody there, looked out the window and the plane was full. Door in the lobby was shut but an employee bolted through so I followed. They were fixxin to close the plane and boy that lobby girl was MAD when she saw me. I said "The door was open!" Sat down and went to Houston.

    Next story in Hawaii. Island hopped to Kaui and had gotten back to Honolulu to connect to the Big Island. That morning a 747 had been delayed and the airport was a disasterous group of tired frustrated travelers. Talked to desk clerk, no chance to jump an earlier flight blahblahblah. Me and the wife hadnt been through the trauma the rest of the folks had so we just sat quietly in a corner and waited for our flight. Lots of fighting and screaming was going on anyways so the live entertainment was a a joy to behold:green:

    All the way catacorner in the lobby, a flight line girl opened a door and a couple people walked up. I told the wife to watch for my signal, made my way over and asked if the flight went to Kaui, she said yes....you going? I said YES, immediately waved to the wife to COME ON. Walked out, got on the plane 1 of several ready to leave, and left. No tickets, no check, nothin, could have gotten on any plane we wanted and gone wherever we wanted etc etc.

    Damnable thing is we got away a couple hours sooner than our flight and with all those people waiting to transfer, that plane was about half full.
     
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    Dad_Roman

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    One more Hawaii....going through TSA, pretty normal bag check. We only carry one backpack when traveling for simplicity. For some reason we looked like terrorists and had to dump the entire contents from our bag which included some breakfast leftovers. In this case a box of Ritz and half a brick of Kraft Cheddar <quite soft by now> agent says "whats this" I said "Kraft cheddar cheese"???? They said that we couldnt take it on the plane because it was the wrong "consistency" and they took it. Snotty fuckers too, so I threw the box of Ritz after them and told em they should have the crackers too!

    .......and yea, got the full body search treatment after that one.
     

    Dad_Roman

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    Apr 1, 2018
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    Teague
    Ok, one more while its on my mind. (relayed from Chase's words)

    Father in law dies, Chase is at TwentyNine Palms after his first deployment <which implies a piss poor mental frame of mind and PTSD attitude>

    Not only that but he misses his flight....<airline fixes it for the next day> ok...

    Next day Simple story from here on. Chase arrives at airport, a little more on time, and goes to check in, agent informs him he has been bumped from the flight, Chase insists that he gets a seat, agent says sorry!

    Chase quietly leans over the counter to the agent and says "Well then call all the cops over here because we are about to close down this airport!"

    ....and suddenly, mysteriously a seat popped open, get on plane, go to Houston!

    .
     

    HKShooter65

    TGT Addict
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    OK, an inveterate contrarian back at you seekers of misery.
    Your half empty glasses are all too negative.
    Mine is half full.

    How about we note examples of government competence?

    US postal service:
    In decades they've not ever lost one single thing I've mailed.
    Is gets anywhere quickly and reliably in our huge nation for a mere half buck.
    Amazing.
    Kudos to them.

    Negativism is as a pox upon our collective id.
    Cease and desist.


    And actually my glass is always 100% full.
    Half liquid. Half air.
    Full.
     
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    Texasjack

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    Jan 3, 2010
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    Occupied Texas
    TSA: My son and I were travelling and he walks ahead of me. They pass him through like nothing to it. Immediately, they stop me and I've got to go through the bug zapper. Nope, I refuse, you have to do a hand search. So they send a guy over and he starts patting me down. Then he says, "Sir, I need to ask you about your wallet." What? "Well, I see you've got a XXXXX credit card." What's that got to do with anything? "Well, I've got a YYYYYY credit card and they suck. I need to know if XXXXX is better." Really? Really?? No, they're not better. All the bank credit card companies suck. "OK, thanks." My son is standing on the other side of the check-in laughing his ass off. "Why are you ALWAYS picked out?"

    TSA-2: My Dad had given me an antique clock a few years back but had just found the little brass key that winds it. I was travelling through the area and he gave me the key and I put it in my carry on. It's like an inch and a half long and looks like one of those old time skeleton keys. Well, old brass contains a small amount of lead and it shows up like crazy on an xray. When the bag went through the machine, the TSA chick stopped it and flagged it for inspection. They seemed to have a helluva time finding something and ran it through several times. I leaned over to see the screen and see what they were looking for. She hit a panic button and 10 cops come racing out of the doors nearby - guns drawn - to surround me. I told her where the key was in the carry on. "SIR! ONE MORE WORD AND YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!!" I looked at the cop nearest me and said, "It's a tiny brass key. You can see on the xray that it's a tiny brass key. It's in the top zipper pocket." He went over, opened the pocket, and pulled it out. The TSA chick says, "It looks like a key." The cops all looked pretty disgusted that they didn't actually get to shoot anyone and they all left. By this time, the line has become 100 yards long. I still don't have any idea why she thought that key was dangerous.
     
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