Debt owed... how to collect

Jcastaneda1105 · Jul 14, 2020

To make a long story short. Step daughter (SD) used wife’s credit card to pay for Lyft rides totally around $4000 over a three month period. Wife didn’t catch it as she didn’t use her card other then for work expenses which were reimbursed.

We find out a few weeks before we’re scheduled to move to Tx. SD blows mom off as she’s know she’s moving and SD is staying in CA. tensions were already high between all of us.

long story short she had promised to pay back a portion a few weeks ago and nothing. Any suggestions?

Some ideas I have:

- open credit card under her name and use cash advance. Let her deal with it.

- Attempt to sue her in CA court which means travel expenses plus attorney fees

Thoughts?

oldag · Jul 14, 2020

First option could land you with fraud charges.

Face to face discussion?

Did she have permission to use the card?

Threaten to file charges with CA law enforcement?

Brains · Jul 14, 2020

Your #1 is a great idea if you want to end up in court, pay some restitution, and possibly do some jail time.

Small claims court is probably your answer, but I'm not a lawyer.

toddnjoyce · Jul 14, 2020

Good luck. Personally, I’d chock this up to a lesson learned and move forward with the knowledge that boundaries need to be put in place in your financial life.

Vaquero · Jul 14, 2020

toddnjoyce said:
Good luck. Personally, I’d chock this up to a lesson learned and move forward with the knowledge that boundaries need to be put in place in your financial life.

Yep.
Don't throw good money after bad. Or something like that.
It's not a measly sum, but hardly worth the extra expense and time.

jrbfishn · Jul 14, 2020

I have no advice you probably haven't thought of. If she hasn't tried to pay you back yet, no matter what you do now, you are going to lose. Now it's just a matter of what you lose.
Good luck.

Sent by an idjit coffeeholic from my SM-G892A using Tapatalk

Jcastaneda1105 · Jul 14, 2020

oldag said:
First option could land you with fraud charges.

Face to face discussion? Not easily done as she’s in CA and we’re in TX.

Did she have permission to use the card? No. Wife tried to fight credit card company to no success. They claimed they were justified charges and we’ve had to eat it.

Threaten to file charges with CA law enforcement? I’d love to do that but doubt wife will want to do as it’s her daughter and would create additional family problems.

Brains · Jul 14, 2020

Sounds like you have your answer already then.

SQLGeek · Jul 14, 2020

Even if you take her to court and get a positive judgment, collecting it may be a pain.

Only you (or more precisely, your wife) can decide if it's worth the time, money and emotional investment to try and collect on it or not.

I'd write it off and move on personally. And I know $4,000 is a big chunk of change. And then I'd turn alerts on for that credit card (and all of my others) so that I know when a charge is being made on it.

baboon · Jul 14, 2020

So what else are y'all paying for sail foam, health care? Cut her off & tell her to wake & grew up.

AZ Refugee · Jul 14, 2020

Either she pays you back or report as fraud to the credit card company, then they go after her

oldag · Jul 14, 2020

In that case, write if off and move on.

Make sure the daughter has zero access to any credit cards, accounts, phones, etc. where you are responsible for payment.

No future financial support of any kind.

Choices have circumstances.

ZX9RCAM · Jul 14, 2020

Judge Judy.
If they rule in your favor, they pay up.

Jcastaneda1105 · Jul 14, 2020

oldag said:
In that case, write if off and move on.

Make sure the daughter has zero access to any credit cards, accounts, phones, etc. where you are responsible for payment.

No future financial support of any kind.

Choices have circumstances.

thanks. Will explore this. SD has been cut off from all funds the minute we left. She got all concerned about health insurance and mom responded with a “figure it out”. No way am I adding her to my plan unless she pre-pays a portion. I determine.

Jcastaneda1105 · Jul 14, 2020

oldag said:
In that case, write if off and move on.

Make sure the daughter has zero access to any credit cards, accounts, phones, etc. where you are responsible for payment.

No future financial support of any kind.

Choices have circumstances.

Agree!! I had a small college savings account that has since been redirected to our two little girls (SD step sisters). I will make it known to her that she’s lost out on this money.

EZ-E · Jul 14, 2020

Loaning $ to family members.... i never expect to see it, even if they say they'll pay it back. In your case ... i would consider it theft if the SD had permission for a 1 time purchase & kept the # & used it after the fact. Now how a court or judge would see it is another story. Being family & out of state.... change all the card #'s & chalk it up to a learning lesson. Also let her know her trust has been given up & has to be earned back.... if it can. Mom might have an easier time giving that trust... you im sure not so much.

Darkpriest667 · Jul 14, 2020

Expensive lesson.

baboon · Jul 14, 2020

Darkpriest667 said:
Expensive lesson.

My paternial grandfather use to say "There are 2 ways of leaning everything you need to know. The easy way & the hard way. Unfortunately we learn most things the hard way."

lightflyer1 · Jul 14, 2020

My youngest daughter did something similar to me 20 years ago. Still never paid it back. When I lend money to anyone (rare) I never expect it back, even though I do expect them to live up to repaying it. I had a friend that helped me out once financially so when he came to me to borrow I lent him the money. 35 years and never paid it back. Best to just learn and move on.

Jcastaneda1105 · Jul 14, 2020

lightflyer1 said:
My youngest daughter did something similar to me 20 years ago. Still never paid it back. When I lend money to anyone (rare) I never expect it back, even though I do expect them to live up to repaying it. I had a friend that helped me out once financially so when he came to me to borrow I lent him the money. 35 years and never paid it back. Best to just learn and move on.

Kind of seems that way. Real bummer but life has a way of coming around with these things. Overall we’re not desperate for the money but we could certainly use it towards our emergency fund and my daughters college fund. Would be a nice bump.

Live and learn and she better not come asking for money ever again.

Debt owed... how to collect

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