Bosses and work.

[Sam7sf]

Title is self explanatory. Lol

Curious as to your problems at work and how you cope. I have always been a polite person, push myself to get the best training I can, and even when I don’t know something or make a mistake I do my best to stay busy and put all my effort into my work. I have plenty of short comings and issues I’m still working on today, such as being careful about working too fast and that causing me not to listen. More on that later...

So how do you all deal with a passive aggressive boss or co worker? This is pretty new to me. Also mods please excuse my language but I need to vent...my boss is gay(I’m not sharing this to be mean), passive aggressive, weirdly obsessed with intelligence, yet has no skills to train or build a team. IMO I think this interest in how smart someone is, is a way to not feel accountable for putting zero effort into a training program. Nope, you’re on your own, how dare you ask so many questions in an environment where a million steps are taking place. How dare I. Lol. When my boss looked at my resume all I heard was he’s smart, look at how smart he is. Meanwhile I’m thinking **** my life lol. If you only knew. I had a conversation with my boss and another supervisor about it. To sum it up, I don’t view myself as perfect and I have made my mistakes. I don’t feel it’s a good thing to infatuate about say intelligence and just expect me going into a new trade will be bump free. It took me years to become good at what I know how to do.

I also was a supervisor, and I had my style of training people. In my eyes a supervisor who works with a crew directly, is responsible for their individual failers. I made it my mission to train people the best I could, and when they failed I pushed harder. I rethought my strategy in training them. Probably out of 20 plus people in 6 years, only 2 I had to say I couldn’t make work. I’m proud of that. So I’m a little baffled watching my boss and current supervisor. Very lazy people. Not very encouraging.

One of my issues is getting busy and not taking notes when I should. Today I had to drop what I’m doing and go dropped off said parts. I have a routine...I ask things before I leave. I’m 99 percent sure I got thrown under the buss today. I know my boss didn’t tell me I was picking up shit we needed today, normally I would question my listening skills, but I went threw too many people not saying I had to pick up. Then when I get to said vendor they tell me no we don’t have anything for you after I ask. Get back, wonder why my boss is upset. I approach the boss. Get told I was told twice they had a pick up. Ok that’s on me I apologize. I hate going to a boss FYI. When I had to deal with performance issues at my old job I went to the source and tried to problem solve. So my boss calls said vendor and talks to another person. Yup parts are there. You fuckers...lol. Ok, alright. This story isn’t necessary but everyday I’m dealing with lack of training, high expectations, being told I’m awesome one minute, how they don’t plan to let me go, they appreciate me, then I find out someone’s having a tantrum and can’t talk to me. I guess I’m old school. I don’t see the big deal in confrontation. Confrontation works well when people hold themselves accountable.

I also don’t understand the shit talking. I don’t do it anymore. It’s negative and disruptive. Seems to be a big passive aggressive trait. I come from bad mouth labor jobs and if you talk shit, it’s ok to say it to said persons face and not lose your job. Here, I get funny looks when asked what I think about someone and say I don’t know and go back to work.

 

[Brains]

Tough to deal with this in a forum post, you've said a lot.

Best advice I could give, is to work on establish good working relationships and not focus on who is right or wrong, who is hard working or lazy, etc.

 

[Sam7sf]

Tough to deal with this in a forum post, you've said a lot.

Best advice I could give, is to work on establish good working relationships and not focus on who is right or wrong, who is hard working or lazy, etc.

Agreed. Thanks too.

 

[Davetex]

Yeah, you can't control what other people do or how they are. You can only control you. For me, all that stuff is just background noise that I have taught myself to tune out over the years.

 

[Sam7sf]

Yeah, you can't control what other people do or how they are. You can only control you. For me, all that stuff is just background noise that I have taught myself to tune out over the years.

It’s new to me because I previously led crews and I’m used to building success by teamwork good training and encouragement of good work and it being genuine. I walked into a shit show and I’m finding it stressful I don’t have the position to change it and see everyone succeed.

 

[Davetex]

It’s new to me because I previously led crews and I’m used to building success by teamwork good training and encouragement of good work and it being genuine. I walked into a shit show and I’m finding it stressful I don’t have the position to change it and see everyone succeed.

You're smart enough to get it figured out and you'll know what to do. I've seen the crappy bosses disappear, hopefully that happens for you.

 

[FireInTheWire]

Problem is this. A boss in most positions are 95% PR. When you get a boss with no PR skills, everyone suffers. PR and commutation are paramount.

Whatever you do..... don't let it stress you out man. Life's way too short for that chit.

 

[Vaquero]

Good luck.
Be glad you're not his boss. What a headache that would be.

 

[TX OMFS]

The boss runs the show. If he doesn't like the show he better look in the mirror.

 

[Sam7sf]

Appreciate the positive comments. I understand how my op may seem childish or selfish. I just needed a place to vent. Family brought me to Texas and starting over has been stressful. The company I work for cleaned house and hired new people to dig it out of a hole. It’s a real shit show. Too many chiefs not enough indians. I like to work, I enjoy being the indian again, just wish my bosses and co workers figured out that it’s not weird to encourage others when their down, want to train people, and perfection is a pathway to madness and the trick to success is excellence. Lol but what do I know?

 

[Vaquero]

Just remember, if you cuss your boss, you are teaching your underlings to cuss their boss.
I think you know what I mean.

 

[Sam7sf]

Just remember, if you cuss your boss, you are teaching your underlings to cuss their boss.
I think you know what I mean.

I think I do. Words of wisdom.

 

[Dawico]

It sounds like you need to find a different job. Everybody is busy and hiring. You will be appreciated somewhere.

May I ask what you do (and obviously you can be very general if you feel the need)?

 

[Sam7sf]

It sounds like you need to find a different job. Everybody is busy and hiring. You will be appreciated somewhere.

May I ask what you do (and obviously you can be very general if you feel the need)?

aerospace. I will say Texas seems to have more money. It’s been pretty easy finding good paying work. I’m grateful for that.

 

[EZ-E]

You can try to sit down with the bosses & let them know what's on your mind & where your coming from...kind of like you told us.

On the other side, my dad always told me ... "son... no matter what you do or where you go in life, there will always be a$$holes".

 

[EZ-E]

aerospace.

He's a rocket scientist & he's trying to be modest

 

[Dawico]

aerospace. I will say Texas seems to have more money. It’s been pretty easy finding good paying work. I’m grateful for that.

Keep shopping then. If you are in demand use it to your advantage.

It is a good time to do it. I am.

 

[Texasjack]

I started out working for a pipeline company. The bosses were entirely honest and direct. I had no problem with that. If they were mad, you heard about it immediately and often loud (and with any and all necessary cuss words). Flash forward to my second job and the bosses are passive-aggressive. It was like TORTURE working for them.

One day, the president of the company stopped in my office. He asked if my chair was comfortable, where did I get it, etc. After he left, I had to go to my immediate supervisor and ask what he meant. "Oh, he's trying to tell you that you have the wrong chair." Wrong chair? "Yeah, you have a cubicle chair but you have an office, so you should have an office chair." I have the f***ing chair someone gave me when I started. What's the difference? "He paid a consultant to design the offices and so he expects everyone to match the scheme. Office chairs are the same as cubicle chairs, but they have full-length arms." Then why couldn't he just tell me to order a new chair? "Because he's passive-aggressive and would rather guide you in your decision making than tell you what he's thinking."

I can't tell you how many times it was said (behind my back) that I wasn't a team player because I answered questions directly, or explained why we should do things a certain way. (Long story, but they wound up getting a guy killed because they didn't listen when I explained why barely trained, young 20-ish kids shouldn't be sent to a military town for a month without a supervisor.) That was only the beginning of the level or management problems they had, so I eventually left and never looked back.

The skills set needed to manage people is different from the set you need to manage projects. Some people just don't have it and likely never will. Bad management can make life miserable, regardless of everything else in the place (money, benefits, environment, etc.) Human Resources likes people who are passive aggressive because they are likely to remain Politically Correct and not cause them a lawsuit. Bosses who are direct might fire someone who, technically "can't" be fired for some legal reason. It's crazy, but it is what it is.

Back when I first got a job, Human Resources didn't exist. It was Personnel. Their job was to make job offers and make sure all the paperwork got filled out. Now, crap lawsuits have moved that department into doing all the hiring, firing, discipline, training, and babysitting for the entire staff. Catch someone sleeping or drunk on the job? You can't say or do anything to them - you have to call HR and eventually they will put them on super-secret probation or something. Every task in the place has to have a written procedure - not so it's done right but so that HR can have something to hold against an employee if they screw something up.

 

[oldag]

I would recommend catching your boss when he is having a good day (or a less bad day). Maybe even suggest going to lunch so you can talk without interruptions or distractions.

Then discuss the challenges you are experiencing. Try to never use the word "you" if possible. Rather say "I feel that I..." or "I get the impression that I..." If you tell the boss "You do/don't ..." he will probably immediately go on the defensive and the odds of a productive conversation will go way down.

Explain that you are coming from a different work environment and want to adapt to the company culture and his management style.

Also explain that since this industry is new to you, you have to come up to speed with the particulars of the aerospace industry. Add that you are confident this will happen quickly, but you may have a few questions where you need his expertise and experience as you transition.

 

[Sam7sf]

I would recommend catching your boss when he is having a good day (or a less bad day). Maybe even suggest going to lunch so you can talk without interruptions or distractions.

Then discuss the challenges you are experiencing. Try to never use the word "you" if possible. Rather say "I feel that I..." or "I get the impression that I..." If you tell the boss "You do/don't ..." he will probably immediately go on the defensive and the odds of a productive conversation will go way down.

Explain that you are coming from a different work environment and want to adapt to the company culture and his management style.

Also explain that since this industry is new to you, you have to come up to speed with the particulars of the aerospace industry. Add that you are confident this will happen quickly, but you may have a few questions where you need his expertise and experience as you transition.

Good advice and thanks. We will see how it goes. My background is General fab welding and 3 axis mill work and master cam programming. I come from job sites and small shops. Lol not very compatible with office types. Other manufacturing/production exp in food/pharma packaging also. Aerospace is well paying but boy is there a lot of steps and verifying and the people you wait on drag their feet. The machine shop guys are cool as per usual in most places and assembly is cool. Everything else is insane and hypocritical.