Coronavirus Epidemic, Part 2

easy rider

Slacker Extraordinaire
TGT Supporter
Jun 10, 2015
24,444
113
Odessa, Tx
I’m sorry, I have a condition that causes my testicles to uncontrollably itch when my face is covered. Think chiggers. I absolutely can not stop myself from scratching them. Not through the pants either.
Full on reach up the leg of my shorts and nails on nuts incessant scratching.
I am sure you really do not want me handling produce in between vigorously clawing the skin off of my balls due to your mask policy.
Remind me not to shake your hand.
 

roadrunner

TGT Addict
Jan 30, 2018
3,559
113
Here
I made a face mask exempt card using the one that was posted in this thread as a guideline. I will print it on some heavy paper and laminate it.

Of course there is nothing official about it, but it looks official and may get me by some of employees at some businesses. And there is nothing in it that is not true.

upload_2020-7-4_1-35-21.png
 

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candcallen

Purveyor of Snark Humor and Truth.
Jul 23, 2011
3,395
113
Little Elm
I made a face mask exempt card using the one that was posted in this thread as a guideline. I will print it on some heavy paper and laminate it.

Of course there is nothing official about it, but it looks official and may get me by some of employees at some businesses. And there is nothing in it that is not true.

View attachment 218752
Except for the fact it was widely publicized as a fake and fraudulent by the government and every Ken and Karen knows they aren't worth the paper printed on .

Good luck.
 

ZX9RCAM

Over the Rainbow bridge...
TGT Supporter
May 14, 2008
43,152
113
The Woodlands, Tx.
I made a face mask exempt card using the one that was posted in this thread as a guideline. I will print it on some heavy paper and laminate it.

Of course there is nothing official about it, but it looks official and may get me by some of employees at some businesses. And there is nothing in it that is not true.

View attachment 218752
Out of curiosity, are you truly exempt?
 

Hoji

Bowling-Pin Commando
May 28, 2008
10,225
113
Mustang Ridge
I made a face mask exempt card using the one that was posted in this thread as a guideline. I will print it on some heavy paper and laminate it.

Of course there is nothing official about it, but it looks official and may get me by some of employees at some businesses. And there is nothing in it that is not true.

View attachment 218752
Just politely say to anyone that tries to mask shame you” Thank you for your concern, now go back to eating that bag of dicks my maskless face distracted you from, Karen”

The nicer you say it, the more they realize that they may have just made the shittiest decision of their day, and if you say it polite enough, they will start to think that maybe it is the last shitty decision they are ever going to get to make.
 

candcallen

Purveyor of Snark Humor and Truth.
Jul 23, 2011
3,395
113
Little Elm
What exactly is fake and fraudulent about it?
Um...you made it up. It's not issued by any gooberment agency, there is no such hotline, you violated federal law by putting an official government seal on there without the disclaimer stating its not affiliated with or sanctioned by said agency etc.

Why not just print out and highlight the Official CDC guidelines that state those with breathing problems from mental or physical conditions shouldn't wear a mask and hand those out?
 
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