Guns & Dating

[GI-John]

As stated before Im a little rascal (21 yrs of age). I just started dating this chick and while she is not against the 2nd, she seems reluctant to embrace it. Questions that were Iffy to her were: Guns in the House? Concealed carry? Guns in the house after having kids?

She seems oblivious to the whole subject and with all that the media has done to the recreational view of it. I seem out gunned (no pun intended).

When is the right time to bring up these topics to chicks we date?
Do you all look for chicks only that share your view on the 2nd?
How would you handle a relationship that has been great and meaningful for 6 months but now is heated due to gun ownership dispute?



thanks

 

[DCortez]

Number one, you gotta be you. There's a whole lot of living coming your way, the last thing you want to do is spending it listening to left wing arguments you disagree with.

Second, if she's a keeper, don't argue your position. Keep safety in mind, let you know its on your mind, and that when the kids come along, it will be a priority.

Third, I think the gun thing isn't something I'd bring up on a first date. I'd try to drop subtle hints like, a friend wants me to go fishing with him, then ease it into hunting, etc. Sneaky but oh well.

Last, remember one thing ... You will never get what you deserve, you will get what you negotiate.

 

[ebk06]

Kind of a tough one. It depends on the girl I think. I told my g/f one day that I was going to buy a gun and she said "cool, just teach me to shoot it". But she was raised in a house that literally had a rifle or shotgun in every room. Sounds to me like you need to educate your girl a bit without being too forceful. Maybe ease her in to handling a gun and the proper way to load/unload, clean, make sure its safe then try and get her to the range. I seem to think a lot of people (not just girls) arent familiar with guns so they are reluctant be around them. Just like when you first drove, it takes education and getting used to if you didnt grow up drive 4 wheelers and atvs. dont get in arguements about it because you'll have plenty of those without guns being the issue lol. But be clear you will not give up your firearms because of ignorance. Maybe bribe her with tickets for a girls concert or something, if she will give the shooting range a chance and learn more about firearms in general.

 

[Texas1911]

I would be tempted to take her to a gun range. I've seen people that were literally shaking from fear, come out and laugh that they built it up so much. It's one of those fears that some people just have. Guns aren't just built up by the media, but they are violent and aggressive. People have rational fears for guns, and until they experience the scope of their ability and replace fear with knowledge will they get better.

 

[Texas1911]

Maybe bribe her with tickets for a girls concert or something, if she will give the shooting range a chance and learn more about firearms in general.

I was going to say that as well... try bringing it up as, let's choose a date that involves something you love. That way it seems like you are willing to choke down a 3 hour Jewel concert so that she'll put up with learning guns.

 

[GI-John]

Third, I think the gun thing isn't something I'd bring up on a first date. I'd try to drop subtle hints like, a friend wants me to go fishing with him, then ease it into hunting, etc. Sneaky but oh well.

Last, remember one thing ... You will never get what you deserve, you will get what you negotiate.

The topic was brought up in my politics class so she still probably has no idea that I am a 2nd advocate and owner. I was thinking the same thing as far as the wait period. The only con i see to waiting a lengthy period is if she is stubborn. Think about it. I invest time and money dating a nice chick. I invest emotion and trust but if she is rock solid on her stance when i bring it up down range, I will have wasted alot of my time and effort. But yes cortez i will definitely wait and play the words to see what she is about on the topic.

ggzzzzz theres a waiting period for eveything in the gun world isnt their...

 

[GI-John]

That way it seems like you are willing to choke down a 3 hour Jewel concert so that she'll put up with learning guns.

whoa...3 hours of jewel....lets be rational here. Im not asking to shoot an apple off her head so I dont know about attending such an event.

 

[DCortez]

That way it seems like you are willing to choke down a 3 hour Jewel concert so that she'll put up with learning guns.

Worse case senario ... be prepared

 

[ebk06]

whoa...3 hours of jewel....lets be rational here. Im not asking to shoot an apple off her head so I dont know about attending such an event.

You have much to learn young grasshoppper. I'd prefer Jewel over an opera. My g/f is still waiting on me to take her to one of those.....next year i keep saying. Seriously though start by bringing it up in passing or when you see something gun related on TV or in a movie. If shes not at least willing to listen to your reasoning then shes probably not "the one".

 

[M. Sage]

I would be tempted to take her to a gun range. I've seen people that were literally shaking from fear, come out and laugh that they built it up so much. It's one of those fears that some people just have. Guns aren't just built up by the media, but they are violent and aggressive. People have rational fears for guns, and until they experience the scope of their ability and replace fear with knowledge will they get better.

I agree. Just take her shooting. My wife had zero gun experience before she met me. She was kind of scared to shoot the .22 we took out into the woods to shoot, but wound up loving it.

Either way, if you're going to date a girl, it's all about finding out if you're compatible: if she goes shooting and decides that she hates guns, you're not.

A couple of tips for taking her shooting. Don't build it up like a big thing, but do have a quick safety rundown before she shoots. I wouldn't bother teaching her how to load or clear the gun, just teach her basic safety and operation, how the sights work and where the trigger is. Stand back and let her go to it.

Don't be overbearing or hover over her shoulder correcting her every five seconds. They hate that.

 

[Nikolai]

Mixed results myself. I think it has to do with what gun you show them first, haha.

(IE bring the old hunting shotgun out first, as she knows everyone has one, then work in the other stuff.)

 

[texas_teacher]

I gotta say my fiance damn near flipped when my dad gave me his Colt Mustang for christmas and didn't even want to touch the damn thing... then she had an encounter where a guy from her school, who did have his chl and was known to always carry, was stalking her and I told her that the mustang with hollow points was staying with her and that she was going to go to the range...

Needless to say she no longer has a stalker but I cannot keep that chick off the range or out of the gun store... God you should see this woman's taste too... it's heartbreaking... I mean I love a good gun but I also love value and well long story short she doesn't mind shaking down close to 10 C notes for a semi-auto... I love the chick though and the looks that she gets... god damn I have to stay close to her in the store... she'll either find a new gun that my card might have room for or some slick is giving her a second glance... I don't know about most of y'all but a chick who is discussing indepth H&K's with the gun clerk wouldn't be somebody that I'd be undressing with my eyes... that's just me though... and I do have the convenient luxury of a non 2nd ammendment believer turned raging enthusiast

A big plus is she considers loading skeet an arm workout and doesn't mind at all... could it get any better?

 

[GM.Chief]

It seems to me from the OP that since she is stating pro 2A but is really unsure about gun safety, that there's no other answer but to take her to a range a few times and see if she can get hooked or not. Maybe find somewhere where there will be other females who can talk to her from a womans point of view as well or try enrolling her in the http://hardlyangelschl.com/ program. But I don't believe in stringing things along for an indefinite period of time. I don't want to say dump her if she remains against guns in the house, but the only other option in that situation if you develop a strong relationship is to get rid of yours (not suggested). Here's a link to a great site by women, for women [URL]http://www.corneredcat.com/[/URL] . And if you can, try taking her somewhere where she can try shooting different guns. For example, my wife enjoys shooting her Glock, but most of that is just a drive for perfection. When we took the shotgun out and practiced shooting from the hip...she was in love...lol. She had also really built up the Ruger 10/22 in her head, so when she finally shot that and realized that there was nothing to it, she had a great time too. A pistol may not end up being her thing, then again as seen in this thread, it may become her new hobby. And in that case, even if you don't make it, she'll always think of how you introduced her to shooting.

Don't be overbearing or hover over her shoulder correcting her every five seconds. They hate that.

This here was one of the best pieces of advice you were given. My wife and I went to Shiloh 3 weeks or so ago to shoot at the range there. Whle we were shooting, another couple came in and were to lanes to our left. The man was taking his wife out for the first time and trying to teach her how to shoot and the whole time he was hovering, correcting and chastising. Even with our headphones on and the sounds of shooting, my wife and I could hear everything he said clearly. We were turned off by his overbearing attitude, and looking at her, she was definitely not enjoying her time there. It was a shame, because she came in with a smile on her face and looked downtrodden when they left. She shouldn't have...she did some pretty good shooting. On the flip side, helping her with posture and grip when starting out are a plus, she'll shoot better and feel more confident faster. Just don't be continuously fixing her posture unless she's asking you to help her.

I know I'm starting to ramble as it's been a 30 hr day, but try to talk her into going. If she seems to have a good time, let her at it...if she seems disinterested, cut it short and try again another time. Oh, and if it's gonna be her first time, don't try to show off with how "close" you can get your groupings. Fire a few if need be to show her that the gun won't bite her when she pulls the trigger...then let her have fun. Try to get her to put the talk of guns and kids and chl on the backburner and just try it out. If she enjoys it, it'll be easier to talk to her about those things. If she doesn't, well...why waste your time arguing with someone who doesn't like it and doesn't want to hear it.

Alright...I'm done...for now

 

[redneckinmontrose]

A copy of "Armed and Female" by Paxton Quigley wouldn't hurt. A&F is a little dated, but a good read. You first, then her.

 

[Shorts]

The guys have some good advice here. Go easy about it, emphasize safety.

Mr Sage had some valuable words.


I grew up with guns and I thought all TVs came from the store with a 22lr leaned against them. When I started dating my now husband, I ran across his 9mm one evening I went over for dinner. It was on his nightstand. And no, I wasn't in his bedroom! I could see it from the living room couch. I was surprised. Before then I hadn't even considered guns a topic of contention or something that would need addressing while dating. I mean why should I? It's Texas, every guy has a gun; one for fightin' one for.. well you get my drift. Anyhow, we went to the range in the next couple days and had our range day date. It was fun. This was one of the early times where I shot a semiauto handgun. Up until that point I mainly shot rifles at animals and revolvers for cans out at the lease.


Well, anyway, you have some good suggestions. I like the one about trading dates, one she wants for one you want. It really fits into what Sage said about you're going to eventually find out what each other is made of. If you stay together for the long run, you'll be tolerating things for each other. Who knows, you might learn to love Jewel as much as she'll love guns

 

[lonewolf23c]

Find a new GF IMO.

 

[Ranger60]

Guys, I'm a bit, well, a lot older that most of you, and after my divorce and during a couple breakups with my GF, who BTW grew up with guns and owns several, I dated a lot. I ALWAYS mentioned by firearms hobby on the first date. I collect a bit, reload, do action pistol. I preferred having the date end there than develop an interest and have her find out later. I never asked participation in my hobby, just tolerance. Oh, and still with the lady that has guns. *L*

 

[navyguy]

A couple of tips for taking her shooting. Don't build it up like a big thing, but do have a quick safety rundown before she shoots. I wouldn't bother teaching her how to load or clear the gun, just teach her basic safety and operation, how the sights work and where the trigger is. Stand back and let her go to it.

Don't be overbearing or hover over her shoulder correcting her every five seconds. They hate that.

Good advice. And if you can, go to an outdoor range, and try to go when you know it won't be crowded. In door ranges are much louder and scare a lot newbe women off pretty quickly. A nice .22 to start with is good too.

Once she's wormed up a bit on guns, ease in a self protection thread (oh I mean conversation ) Then if she dosen't go ballistic on the, get her to watch the Suzanna Hupp video. That usually gets them

YouTube - Suzanna Gratia Hupp explains meaning of 2nd Amendment!

 

[txinvestigator]

I wish I could offer some words of wisdom, but I have been married for 17 years now and my wife has a strict policy about me NOT dating.

She is closed minded like that. ;

 

[GI-John]

hahahah

I have been married for 17 years now and my wife has a strict policy about me NOT dating.

She is closed minded like that. ;

hahaha