Happened to me!

ROGER4314

Been Called "Flash" Since I Was A Kid!
Jul 11, 2009
10,433
83
East Houston
A man down the street was married to a very pretty woman who was small in stature. She suffered from Dementia, became violent and had to go into a care facility. She became worse and finally died. Mental decline is a terrible situation that affects everyone around the person.

Flash
 

Glenn B

TGT Addict
TGT Supporter
Sep 5, 2019
2,885
113
Texarkana Area
Exactly... The cops said "We can not violate his civil rights!" The type of care/facility this guy needs runs about 5-6k a month. Wife said "Well.... there's goes the savings."
Yep, that is what happens to the savings - there they go.

My mom had dementia. She lived alone and when she came down with it moved in with my sister, brother-in-law and nephew. She was there a couple or few years in which time they built an extension on their home just for her, like her own apartment. Then she started to get violent. She was telling my nephew, who I think was around 9 or 10 at the time, that his father was an imposter from Canada who was sent to kidnap him or something like that. She then went after my brother-in-law, threw a phone at him (the old fashioned type) and attacked him a few times. My sister once called for an ambulance to bring her to the ER. They came and later said that my mom was completely normal but took her to the hospital anyway. Hospital later wrote it up that my mom was a lucid and reasonable as anyone and that they suspected my sister of trying to get rid of her as in out of the house under false pretenses. The very next day, she was at it again. Ambulance and police came this time (the ambulance guys apparently called for the police because of her seeming normal the day before nd because hospital suspected my sister of some sort of nefarious plot). Luckily for my sister, my mom was still very violent when the troops arrived.

Mom wound up going into an assisted living home (not a nursing home, very different) where she had her own apartment. She was there at least a couple of years, less violent with new meds, then she became too violent and too looney for them to leave her in the general population and she then went into their secure section in the facility. It was smaller, and she could not walk outside freely (they did have a secure garden). She still had her own apartment and was much better off than in a nursing home. My mom was quite wealthy at the time this happened due to an inheritance she got pretty late in life (we had been dirt poor when I was a kid and into my twenties). All of her money vanished (I often wonder what my sister pocketed as she had power of atty and I am sure some went her way at the end) due to the care bills which ran about 6k monthly for the assisted living home and more for doctors even though she had good health insurance. She lived there several years until she passed away.

I could tell you things she said to me on my frequent visits to see her that might seem very sad due to the memory problems that come with dementia but a lot of them were as amusing as they were sad, just depended on how you looked at them and whether or not you accepted what dementia does to fry one's brain.

It is almost a certainty that the lady in the OP's story will lose her shirt, so to speak, paying for an assisted living facility or even worse if for a nursing home. I do not have it, but had I been able to afford it, I'd have gotten a long term care plan for myself so as not to be a burden or at least to be as light a one as possible should I turn out likewise as my mom. I advise all to consider it.
 

Dougw1515

Well-Known
Jul 14, 2020
2,184
113
USA
Yep, that is what happens to the savings - there they go.

My mom had dementia. She lived alone and when she came down with it moved in with my sister, brother-in-law and nephew. She was there a couple or few years in which time they built an extension on their home just for her, like her own apartment. Then she started to get violent. She was telling my nephew, who I think was around 9 or 10 at the time, that his father was an imposter from Canada who was sent to kidnap him or something like that. She then went after my brother-in-law, threw a phone at him (the old fashioned type) and attacked him a few times. My sister once called for an ambulance to bring her to the ER. They came and later said that my mom was completely normal but took her to the hospital anyway. Hospital later wrote it up that my mom was a lucid and reasonable as anyone and that they suspected my sister of trying to get rid of her as in out of the house under false pretenses. The very next day, she was at it again. Ambulance and police came this time (the ambulance guys apparently called for the police because of her seeming normal the day before nd because hospital suspected my sister of some sort of nefarious plot). Luckily for my sister, my mom was still very violent when the troops arrived.

Mom wound up going into an assisted living home (not a nursing home, very different) where she had her own apartment. She was there at least a couple of years, less violent with new meds, then she became too violent and too looney for them to leave her in the general population and she then went into their secure section in the facility. It was smaller, and she could not walk outside freely (they did have a secure garden). She still had her own apartment and was much better off than in a nursing home. My mom was quite wealthy at the time this happened due to an inheritance she got pretty late in life (we had been dirt poor when I was a kid and into my twenties). All of her money vanished (I often wonder what my sister pocketed as she had power of atty and I am sure some went her way at the end) due to the care bills which ran about 6k monthly for the assisted living home and more for doctors even though she had good health insurance. She lived there several years until she passed away.

ETA: The other day I was in the bedroom where I stored cabinet drawers/doors n' such. That is the same room the gun safe is in. The wife was going through the safe looking for a medical power of attorney. She unfolded on piece of paper that turned out to be a range target. The grouping was ~3" notes on the target indicated it was at 45'(15 yards) with .40 cal. pistol. The husband, at one time, was a pretty good shot. That target was created in the mid '90's.

I could tell you things she said to me on my frequent visits to see her that might seem very sad due to the memory problems that come with dementia but a lot of them were as amusing as they were sad, just depended on how you looked at them and whether or not you accepted what dementia does to fry one's brain.

It is almost a certainty that the lady in the OP's story will lose her shirt, so to speak, paying for an assisted living facility or even worse if for a nursing home. I do not have it, but had I been able to afford it, I'd have gotten a long term care plan for myself so as not to be a burden or at least to be as light a one as possible should I turn out likewise as my mom. I advise all to consider it.
Update of sorts. The husband never returned to the house. He spent 3 days in hospital for mental evaluation. Mentally he checked out OK.(how's that work?) Then he spent a week in another hospital for physical evaluation - healthy as an ox. All this while the wife is searching for a place to put him. Hospital called and said they need to release him and make the bed available for other needy patience's. Wife had been visiting multiple assisted living facilities. Finally found one she really liked and was somewhat affordable. For a co-share room the cost is $3,400.00 per month. The nurses, or whatever they're called, tell the wife he is doing absolutely wonderful and he is their favorite resident. He has caused/created zero incidents and seems to really like where he's at - so far. The wife has not seen the husband since the Sunday the cops carted him off. She told the care facility she will wait for their recommendation to visit him. Husband has not mentioned his wife nor ask about her since he's been there. For now things are going really good for all concerned.
 
Last edited:

Sasquatch

Active Member
Apr 20, 2020
624
93
Magnolia
Doug,
I'm glad the situation seems to be resolving itself. I really pray I don't wind up facing a similar situation some day.

Your incident reinforced the lesson that spare mags are required equipment if you carry a semi auto. Glad things didn't get ugly, and really glad you didn't wind up having to shoot someone in their 80's - the media would've destroyed you for it regardless of the actual circumstances.
 

Dougw1515

Well-Known
Jul 14, 2020
2,184
113
USA
Doug,
I'm glad the situation seems to be resolving itself. I really pray I don't wind up facing a similar situation some day.

Your incident reinforced the lesson that spare mags are required equipment if you carry a semi auto. Glad things didn't get ugly, and really glad you didn't wind up having to shoot someone in their 80's - the media would've destroyed you for it regardless of the actual circumstances.
Yeah it could'a got really ugly. The wife had security cameras and alarms installed a week or so before this event. She gave me a video of the incident as it took place outside by my trailer. It was actually a quite sad event and I hope no one else has to make the choices I had to make that day. And I hope I never get involved in an incident such as that again.

Just an FYI... I now carry 2 spare magazines. So I have the 12rd +1 in the P365 and 2 - 10rd magazines in the holster. When I made my decision to get the LTC and start carrying I took some training classes with my daughter, as most here are well aware. For those classes I got 2 - 2 magazine paddle holsters. So I started using one of them on a daily basis. Getting kinna crowded on my belt though as now I carry 2 magazines, 1 - leatherman holster that has a mini flashlight and a folding razor knife, my S10+ cell phone and the P365.
 

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