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IT Departments :: Behind the beards

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by Brains, Dec 4, 2018.

  1. Brains

    Brains TGT Addict

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    You reminded me of one from a decade back. One of our road warriors brings her laptop in, with the complaint that it won't turn on. She mentioned that it "might" be that it got wet, because it was raining that day and she forgot her umbrella. She, however, was dry as a bone. So I take the laptop, and start to work disassembling it. "Hey Jennifer, was it raining coffee with creamer this morning?" After a thorough flush with electronic parts cleaner and a replacement keyboard (cheaper to just replace it than my spend my time cleaning it out) it worked great...

    .... until she brings it in a couple months later with a cracked LCD. "This big guy put his bad on top of mine in the overhead on the plane, that probably did it." Oh really Jennifer? Did it cause this big impact crack on the front of the housing too?

    Lesson 1: Don't lie to your IT guy, we can see straight through your bullshit.
    Lesson 2: When you retire your corporate-owned laptop, clean your sexting pics off it - and for the love of God, don't put them ON YOUR DESKTOP. Companies have to do an asset capture (copy files off mobile device).
     


  2. benenglish

    benenglish Lifetime Supporter Staff Member Lifetime Member Admin

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    I once headed up a team of support folks who were tasked with supporting a group of newly hired employees. The hotel for the training would be continuously occupied by about 5000 new employees, rotating in and out in groups, over the course of 6 months. We never had less than 1000 on site at one time so there were always at least 40 classes going at once.

    Every second of downtime was incredibly expensive. We didn't have time for tickets or formal documentation. We just had to have experienced people get to the problem right now and fix it right now. I set up a rotation of on-floor folks who could be dispatched via radio to the problem closest to them.

    The entire training system was set up so that it flowed as smoothly as possible. The instructors were all high-level experts in their field, competent Officers and Agents with extensive field experience who knew the law, knew the procedures, and knew how to get work done.

    After each job, support personnel returned to our work room and put a mark on a big board indicating the basic classification of the problem. We were, after all, required to keep a few records.

    At the end of 6 months I prepared the final report.

    All those experienced, senior field personnel had made multiple thousands of reports of computer problems in the course of their instruction. The reports were duly categorized by type of problem.

    Just short of 50% of all the problems reported by those highly-competent instructors were resolved under the category of:
    • "Equipment not plugged in/not powered on."
    Talk about a punch in the stomach. I had taken the job because of all the weird problems I'd get to solve at record speed while looking like a hero. As it turned out, half our work was showing (often repeatedly to the same instructors) how to plug in and turn on various pieces of equipment. :(
     
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  3. benenglish

    benenglish Lifetime Supporter Staff Member Lifetime Member Admin

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    Porn and sexually-related media on computers is a whole 'nother subject.

    I will say one thing about it, though. I was occasionally assigned to show our Inspector General staff the offending material so that they could determine what level of investigation and potential punishment was required. In that way, I got to know every single Inspector (later Special Agent) on staff.

    Why?

    Because whenever I did a formal presentation of sexually explicit material, the entire Inspector General staff always showed up to the briefing!

    Buncha perverts, if you ask me. :)
     
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  4. karlac

    karlac Gone fishin' ... TGT Supporter Lifetime Member

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    One embarrassing moment when the "boss" decided to help out with the onsite "tech support" for a network client.

    Hell, why not, he built the damned boxes and setup the network?

    Still, a client's employee was in tears because her monitor "just didn't look right", and nothing I tweaked for thirty minutes made her happy.

    In desperation, I went ahead and changed out the monitor cable, and Bingo she was pleased as punch .. although it looked no different to me??

    Moral: when you're colorblind, and the "R" wire in the RGB cable is broken, you're worthless as a warm bucket of spit for tech support.

    Even worse, I did the same thing with my own audio workstation a few years later in the studio ... had been using a bad cable for months and never noticed it until someone pointed it out, or after it was fixed.
     
  5. benenglish

    benenglish Lifetime Supporter Staff Member Lifetime Member Admin

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    There used to be a trade school that advertised heavily on TV. I don't remember the name but they promised to make you a tech support god in short order.

    If you called them, the first question they asked after getting your name and number was "Are you colorblind?"
     
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  6. karlac

    karlac Gone fishin' ... TGT Supporter Lifetime Member

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    Yep, I sympathize with that requirement.

    Then again, guess who was in charge of soldering 72 pair of color coded conductors back together in a 2 mile long, offshore seismograph cable after it had been run over by shrimp boats?

    Tech support at it's finest ...
     
  7. Brains

    Brains TGT Addict

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    Traffic lights must be fun for R/G colorblind folks, at least until you learn the light positions.
     
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  8. karlac

    karlac Gone fishin' ... TGT Supporter Lifetime Member

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    Just slow down, let someone pass you, and do what they do.
    And hope like hell they're not colorblind also ...
     
  9. popper

    popper Active Member

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    Got no use for IT. Been working with computers since Intel 2002. Heard recently that the work 'geek' was originated as the person who bit off chicken heads. Spent 4 hrs in an Apple store, nice people who work with a 'locked' OS but can't really do much. All software is pretty much unsafe and bloated, IT tries to figure work-arounds.
     
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  10. karlac

    karlac Gone fishin' ... TGT Supporter Lifetime Member

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    Back in the day we called that "Babbage's Disease".

    The constant adding of "features" to software (or hardware for that matter, for which Charles Babbage was famously guilty), just because you could.
     


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