Life Kicked Me in the Nads

[Vaquero]

Thanks, folks, I appreciate the positivity.
As I look back, I should have seen this coming.
I saw her do things or say things to other people of which I did not approve. I thought it was a character flaw that I could fix and teach her the morality of doing the right thing.
I attend religious services regularly, and she never went with me, always saying that she would do so after we were married.
Again, thanks for the kind words and support. This isn't anything I really want to talk to my kids about or share the details of with my family. You folks have given me an outlet to begin to work through this.

You're better off.
Enjoy retirement.

 

[deemus]

Your gonna be OK dude.

 

[Axxe55]

Sk, I'll give you the short version of the speech my father gave me, when I found out what an unfaithful bitch of my first wife did to me. Leaving me high and dry.

"I can't take away the hurt you're feeling right now, and there isn't anything I can say that will make what you're going through easier, but I have been there, and know your pain. It will take some time, but it does get better."

Those words from my father helped me. Support of my friends helped. Yeah, it still hurt. At first I thought I was the one that did wrong. But people showed me I wasn't responsible for the choices other people make.

My ex-wives did me a favor. It led to the third wife, who is ten times the person either of them ever could be. If I were still with either of them, I'd never have the true love of my life today. The pain i went through was worth what I have today.

 

[jrbfishn]

What I told my own sons.
Unfortunately the only way to figure out what you want or need in a partner is first to go through the ones you don't want. And if you have to change them or teach them to be what you want, unless they choose to, then they are not what you want. And never will be. Just pretend to be. What they are will always come out.
Always.


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[Bisdak]

When you hit the bottom, there’s no other way but up.

Go with the Lord. For when you walk in the valley of darkness, He is with you...

 

[mitchntx]

My ex-wives did me a favor. It led to the third wife, who is ten times the person either of them ever could be. If I were still with either of them, I'd never have the true love of my life today. The pain i went through was worth what I have today.

And there isn't anything wrong with just living bachelor's life. No accountability, no one to answer to, if I want to jump on the bike and head to the hill country or Big Bend or Arkansas ... I just leave. There is tremndous freedom in that.

About 6 months ago, I invited a lady friend to come over and spend a couple days.

Don't take that the wrong way ... she was a high school buddy, had been through a couple rough marriages and recently lost her mom to cancer. She was a mess and I thought a few days away from all that would be good for her. Let her recharge and get her life back.

Well, she was here 10 minutes and I was ready for her to leave.

 

[pronstar]

Big difference between being alone, and being lonely

You’ll be fine brother, take some time and focus on yourself, become the best version of you.

You deserve it.


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[skfullgun]

I'm getting there. I spent the day digging a few post holes and building two impromptu trough feeders from scrap lumber to hold 50# blocks for deer. I cleared some brush, mowed the ditches, and then jumped in the livestock trough/redneck pool to cool off. I cranked up the radio and had a gin and tonic while I soaked. And then, me and the good Lord had a long talk. Thy will be done.
Not having to listen to a woman telling me what I ought to be doing was mighty peaceful.

 

[Vaquero]

I'm getting there. I spent the day digging a few post holes and building two impromptu trough feeders from scrap lumber to hold 50# blocks for deer. I cleared some brush, mowed the ditches, and then jumped in the livestock trough/redneck pool to cool off. I cranked up the radio and had a gin and tonic while I soaked. And then, me and the good Lord had a long talk. Thy will be done.
Not having to listen to a woman telling me what I ought to be doing was mighty peaceful.

Get a dog.

 

[skfullgun]

I have two!

 

[Vaquero]

I have two!

We'll, yer pretty much set then.

 

[mitchntx]

I'm getting there. I spent the day digging a few post holes and building two impromptu trough feeders from scrap lumber to hold 50# blocks for deer. I cleared some brush, mowed the ditches, and then jumped in the livestock trough/redneck pool to cool off. I cranked up the radio and had a gin and tonic while I soaked. And then, me and the good Lord had a long talk. Thy will be done.
Not having to listen to a woman telling me what I ought to be doing was mighty peaceful.

LOL ... now THAT is a complete day!

 

[Bisdak]

I have two!

That’s awesome. They’ll keep you company. Guard you with their life. None to complain and faithful as ever.

 

[Texasjack]

Knew a guy who worked offshore. He came home after a month on the platform and his key didn't work on the front door. He knocked and a guy he didn't know answered it. Turned out his wife had cleaned out all his money, sold his stuff, and forged his name on the papers to sell the house. The guy who answered the door was pretty badly shaken, as in all likelihood he was going to lose the house. But the offshore guy told him to keep the house. "It's not your fault and I'm better off without her".

I know that the worst thing about divorcing my ex was that I didn't do it 15 years earlier.

 

[Axxe55]

And there isn't anything wrong with just living bachelor's life. No accountability, no one to answer to, if I want to jump on the bike and head to the hill country or Big Bend or Arkansas ... I just leave. There is tremndous freedom in that.

About 6 months ago, I invited a lady friend to come over and spend a couple days.

Don't take that the wrong way ... she was a high school buddy, had been through a couple rough marriages and recently lost her mom to cancer. She was a mess and I thought a few days away from all that would be good for her. Let her recharge and get her life back.

Well, she was here 10 minutes and I was ready for her to leave.

I was single for almost five years in between wife #1 and wife #2. I enjoyed the freedom of being single. I dated a lot, went shooting a lot and had a lot of fun, doing what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it.

 

[Aus_Schwaben]

Plenty of ice and good friends can help.

Hang in there.

 

[skfullgun]

Things are better everyday. Every once in a while a profound sense of loss overcomes me but I shake it off and keep moving forward. Thanks again for all the support.

 

[baboon]

In a year or 2 when you hear that she is homeless, penniless & no friends it will all be much better!

 

[DVC10mm]

Darn SK, sorry to hear that. Sounds like you're on the right path, in the long run you will be way better off without someone like that in your life.

 

[Axxe55]

Things are better everyday. Every once in a while a profound sense of loss overcomes me but I shake it off and keep moving forward. Thanks again for all the support.

I fully understand what you're going through. Been there twice now. My first divorce, I thought I was going to die! Yeah, I did a lot of crying in my beer over the first one. I was lucky that I had family and friends who had been ther and knew what I was going through.

The second divorce was much easier in many ways. There were a few rough moments, but it wasn't anything like the first one. After almost thirteen years together, she and I had just grown apart and had no common interests, we barely ever saw one another due to our work schedules, and we were more like room-mates than husband and wife. We both knew it was coming.

I had already even made preparations for the inevitable. I rented my cousin's garage apartment, and on my days off, moved a lot of stuff to the apartment, and to my Dad's barn for storage. Before the divorce was even final. I had even taken a new job, bought a brand new truck!