Living In Hell

MadMo44Mag

TGT Addict
Jan 23, 2009
3,054
36
Ft.Worth
One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil .
...

Satan: 'Why so glum?'

Guy: 'What do you think? I'm in hell!'

Satan: 'Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here.

You a drinking man?'

Guy: 'Sure, I love to drink.'

Satan: 'Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays,that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Tab, and Fresca. We drink 'til we throw up, and then we drink
some more! And you don't have to worry about getting a hangover, because you're dead anyway.'

Guy: 'Gee that sounds great!'

Satan: 'You a smoker?'

Guy: 'You better believe it!'

Satan: 'All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world, and smoke our lungs out;

And if you get cancer - no biggie, you're already dead, remember?'

Guy: 'Wow . . . that's awesome!'

Satan: 'I bet you like to gamble.'

Guy: 'Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do.'

Satan: 'Good, 'cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want.

Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, it doesn't matter, you're dead anyhow.'

Guy: 'Cool!'

Satan: 'What about drugs?'

Guy: 'Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean . . ...... ?'

Satan: 'That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want. You're dead,
so who cares?'


Satan: You like guns?

Guy: Hell yes!

Satan: Fridays we play cowboys and Indians and shoot the shit out of each other. Never hurts and you can’t die because you’re already dead.

Guy: 'Wow! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!'

Satan: 'You gay?'

Guy: 'No . . . '
Satan: 'Oooo, Saturdays are gonna be tough .'
 

DCortez

TGT Addict
Jan 28, 2009
6,607
36
Houston, Cy-Fair
I've heard it told a few ways, still funny every time.


My favorite ending ... You're gonna love Thursdays, You're gonna love Fridays, Ooow, you're gonna HATE Saturdays.
 
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