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Meat Gazers

Discussion in 'Military Vets' started by Bobk, Sep 4, 2019.

  1. Bobk

    Bobk Active Member

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    So we were having a discussion the other day at work among some old army vets about the army urinalysis program and meat gazers.

    So out of curiosity how many of you were trained to be meat gazers or want to admit to it?

    Figure with all the serious B.S going on how about a little humor!
     


  2. TxStetson

    TxStetson Usually Here TGT Supporter Lifetime Member

    I wasn’t in the army, but I was the urinalysis coordinator for one of the ships I was stationed on. I was one of the lucky few to get picked for a random once and one of the observers was a friend of mine. As I was filling the bottle he walked up behind me and put his chin on my shoulder, reached both arms around me, and asked if I wanted him to hold the bottle. I wound up spilling my urine sample everywhere as I elbowed him in the ribs.
     
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  3. ZX9RCAM

    ZX9RCAM Over the Rainbow bridge... TGT Supporter

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    :green:
     
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  4. Bobk

    Bobk Active Member

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    Hilarious! Even the Navy had meat gazers!

    Nothing like old memories and blasts from past! Amazing the stuff that we remember that civilians would have no idea of what we were talking about.

    Don’t remember how many times I got stuck being an observer.
     
  5. Bozz10mm

    Bozz10mm TGT Addict TGT Supporter

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    I was the drug and alcohol NCO for our unit. An additional duty. I didn't like that job at all. Yes, urine collection was part of the job, along with maintaining the chain of custody, labeling, and shipping the urine to the lab. This is the first time I've heard the term meat gazer tho.

    Join the Army. Pee all you can pee.
     
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  6. Bobk

    Bobk Active Member

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    I remember in the early 80’s the urinalysis program was just starting. People could pop hot at least once. I remember a NCO who had used his wife sample but forgot she was smoking dope. It was his second time that he had got caught on the test. He bought the article 15 from the PAC NCO.

    Those were still the days of beer machines in the barracks and two beer lunches.

    Cold War going on and still had Vietnam vets on active duty.
     
  7. baboon

    baboon TGT Addict

    Many years ago I had just punched out for the day @ work when the store manager chased me down to my truck. He says I need to do a piss test & I told him I was all ready clocked out. He says punch back & take the test. This time they had a mobile unit doing the test so out to this mini bus I go.

    In the bus they guy taking samples hands me the jar & says fill it to the line. I tell him I just pissed before clocking out & didn't have to go. The tester tells the store manager & he comes out to the mini bus. By this time I have wasted 15 minutes of everyones time. The manager mumbles something about me drinking something. I tell him I aint thirsty, but he insisting. Next he says he will go inside & get me a drink & has his hand out for money. I tell him I'm penniless & if he wants me pissing he needs to buy. He ask what I want & I tell him beer makes me piss the quickest. No beer, soda tea coffee or water! I'll have a coke. He brinks me a fountain coke & I explain how Marvin Zindlers restaurants reports has it where I won't drink fountain drinks. He comes back with a can of coke that I drink & they wait.

    I hear the tester say he is now late for his next location & we need to hurry this along. I still don't need to piss. 2 more cans of coke & finally I need to piss. So I get my jar & I'm led over to the toilet & the testers say he has to watch me. I pretty much turned my whole body piss everywhere before giving him a short sample.

    I ended up with 2 hours of overtime from th ordeal. Store manager looked like an idiot for paying out O.T. for a piss test & I passed. Found out later from the department manager I was chosen only because they didn't think the other 2 guys workingafter I had clocked out would pass.
     
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  8. Bozz10mm

    Bozz10mm TGT Addict TGT Supporter

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    I don't think Article 15 was an option back in the 90s when I was doing it. It was once and yer done. Out. Discharged other than Honorable. Didn't matter what the drug was. Marijuana, cocaine, or whatever they were looking for that month. They didn't check for every drug every time.
     
  9. Bozz10mm

    Bozz10mm TGT Addict TGT Supporter

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    The last place I worked tested quarterly. Employees were selected randomly supposedly. There were 35 or 40 of us and they picked 3 or 4 each quarter for testing. I was selected 3 quarters in a row. What are the odds.
     
  10. Bobk

    Bobk Active Member

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    There are some jobs now that require urinalysis before being allowed on the job-site. We only give them when an accident occurs. Everyone is worried about the privacy issues. Times have changed.

    Bozz10mm you must be lucky.
     


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