Mildly Entertaining Deer Story (a little long)

Discussion in 'Texas Hunting & Fishing' started by CDF, Dec 10, 2008.

  1. CDF

    CDF Member

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    Dec 4, 2008
    ATX
    Found this on another forum that I participate in- I have no idea of the origin of this story.
    May be fact or fiction, but I thought it was entertaining and thought I'd share.
    If this has been posted elsewhere in these forums already, or is in the wrong section, my apologies in advance.




    I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall,
    feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

    The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that,
    since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much
    fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up
    and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4
    feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and
    toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport
    it home.

    I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.

    The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They
    were not having any of it.

    After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out..
    ..a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and
    threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.

    I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold.
    The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could
    tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.

    I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension
    on the rope and then received an education.

    The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand
    there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action
    when you start pulling on that rope.

    That deer EXPLODED.

    The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT
    stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I
    could fight down with a rope and with some dignity.

    A deer-- no chance.

    That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no
    controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off
    my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me
    that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had
    originally imagined.

    The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other
    animals.

    A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk
    me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few
    minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing
    out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for
    corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end
    of that rope.

    I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it
    would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no
    love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing,
    and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.

    Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had
    cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various
    large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think
    clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared
    some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I
    didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get
    it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I
    had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute.

    I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope
    back.

    Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would
    have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised
    when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of
    my wrist.

    Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where
    they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head
    --almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

    The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and
    draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was
    ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several
    minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.

    I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim
    by now), tricked it.

    While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached
    up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my
    final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

    Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on
    their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and
    their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that,
    when an animal -- like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and
    you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud
    noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually
    cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.

    This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would
    not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different
    strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

    The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a
    horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit
    you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses
    after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the
    second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

    Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not
    immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has
    passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on
    you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering
    your head.

    I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.

    So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a
    scope to sort of even the odds.
     


  2. kville79

    kville79 Active Member

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    May 24, 2008
    Austin
    OMG, friggin hilarious, had me in tears. I'm going to have to spread this one about.
     
  3. Lumberjack98

    Lumberjack98 Member

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    Aug 26, 2008
    Katy
    Fantastic. Thanks for posting!
     
  4. onac255

    onac255 Active Member

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    Mar 2, 2008
    El Paso, TX
    Awesome lol!
     
  5. redhart

    redhart New Member

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    Dec 12, 2008
    too far east
    I thought that roping a deer has probably not a good idea, NOW i know I was correct.Thanks for the post.I am having visuals and laughing my head off.
     
  6. Texas Patriot

    Texas Patriot Member

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    Jul 17, 2008
    Spring
    AS soon as I get the tears wiped from my eyes from laughing so hard, I'm gonna forward this to a few friends. This is fantastic.
     
  7. redhart

    redhart New Member

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    Dec 12, 2008
    too far east
    I can picture all this happening...I am still laughing!!!
     
  8. richxd87

    richxd87 New Member

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    Sep 3, 2008
    LOL. absolutely hilarious!!
     

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