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Motorcycle jokes.

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by Younggun, Oct 9, 2013.

  1. Younggun

    Younggun Doer of Deeds TGT Supporter Admin

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    Stealing these from all over the Internet. Been getting a kick out of them.


    Cold Biker

    The biker was wearing a leather jacket that didn't have a zipper or any buttons.

    Finally he stopped the bike and told the other guy,"I can't drive cold like this anymore with the air hitting me in my chest."

    After thinking for a while he decided to put the coat on backwards to block the cold air from hitting him.

    So they were driving down the road and they came around this curb and wrecked. The farmer that lived there called the police and told
    them what happened.

    The police asked him,"are either of them showing any life signs?"

    The farmer then said, "well, that first one was 'til I turned his head around the right way."
     


  2. txbikerman

    txbikerman TGT Addict

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    good one
     
  3. Younggun

    Younggun Doer of Deeds TGT Supporter Admin

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    Unlucky Biker

    A biker is riding a new motorcycle on the highway.

    While passing a car, he knocks on the window. The driver of the car opens the window and says, "Yes?" The bike responds, "Ever driven a Honda motorcycle?" The driver says, "No I haven't."

    The biker drives on, until he sees the next car. While passing it, he knocks on the window. The driver of the car opens the window and says, "Yes?" The bike responds, "Ever driven a Honda motorcycle?" The driver says, "No I haven't."

    Then, suddenly, there is a curve, the biker sees it too late. He crashes off the road into a ditch. A car stops and a man runs to the unlucky biker. Covered in blood and surely dying, the biker asks, "Ever driven a Honda motorcycle?" The man replies, "Yes I have. I had a Honda for 20 years". The biker asks, "Where are the brakes?"
     
  4. Younggun

    Younggun Doer of Deeds TGT Supporter Admin

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    1- Top Ten Reasons Why Harley Riders Don’t Wave Back.

    10. Afraid it will invalidate warranty.

    9. Leather and studs make it too heavy to raise arm.

    8. Refuse to wave to anyone whose bike is already paid for.

    7. Afraid to let go of handlebars because they might vibrate off.

    6. Rushing wind would blow scabs off the new tattoos.

    5. Angry because just took out second mortgage to pay luxury tax on new Harley.

    4. Just discovered the fine print in owner’s manual and realized H-D is partially owned by Honda.

    3. Can’t tell if other riders are waving or just reaching to cover their ears like everyone else.

    2. Remembers the last time a Harley rider waved back, he impaled his hand on spiked helmet.

    1. They’re too tired from spending hours polishing all that chrome to lift their arms.


    Bonus: Don't want to drop their tools.
     
  5. txbikerman

    txbikerman TGT Addict

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    keep it going. im loving it
     
  6. Younggun

    Younggun Doer of Deeds TGT Supporter Admin

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    Top Ten Reasons Why Gold Wing Riders Don’t Wave Back.

    10. Wasn’t sure whether other rider was waving or making an obscene gesture.

    9. Afraid might get frostbite if hand is removed from heated grip.

    8. Has arthritis and the past 400 miles have made it difficult to raise arm.

    7. Reflection from etched windshield momentarily blinded him.

    6. The espresso machine just finished.

    5. Was actually asleep when other rider waved.

    4. Was in a three-way conference call with stockbroker and accessories dealer.

    3. Was distracted by odd shaped blip on radar screen.

    2. Was simultaneously adjusting the air suspension, seat height, programmable CD player, seat temperature and satellite navigation system.

    1. Couldn’t find the “auto wave back” button on dashboard.
     
  7. Younggun

    Younggun Doer of Deeds TGT Supporter Admin

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    Top 10 Reasons Sport bikers Don’t Wave At All.

    10. They have not been riding long enough to know they’re supposed to.

    9. They’re going too fast to have time enough to register the movement and respond.

    8. You weren’t wearing bright enough gear.

    7. If they stick their arm out going that fast they’ll rip it out of the socket.

    6. They’re too occupied with trying to get rid of their chicken strips.

    5. They look way too cool with both hands on the bars or they don’t want to unbalance themselves while standing on the tank.

    4. Their skin tight-Kevlar-ballistic-nylon-kangaroo-leather suits prevent any position other than fetal.

    3. Raising an arm allows bugs into the armholes of their tank tops.

    2. It’s too hard to do one-handed stoppies.

    1. They were too busy slipping their flip-flop back on.
     
  8. Younggun

    Younggun Doer of Deeds TGT Supporter Admin

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    Top Ten Reasons Why BMW Riders Don’t Wave Back.

    10. New Aerostich suit too stiff to raise arm.

    9. Removing a hand from the bars is considered “bad form.”

    8. Your bike isn’t weird enough looking to justify acknowledgment.

    7. Too sore from an 800-mile day on a stock “comfort” seat.

    6. Too busy programming the GPS, monitoring radar, listening to ipod, XM, or talking on the cell phone.

    5. He’s an Iron Butt rider and you’re not!.

    4. Wires from Gerbings is too short.

    3. You’re not riding the “right kind” of BMW.

    2. You haven’t been properly introduced.

    1. Afraid it will be misinterpreted as a friendly gesture
     
  9. Younggun

    Younggun Doer of Deeds TGT Supporter Admin

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    Why don't you ever see rust on a Harley?

    The oil leaking out of the engine is a natural rust preventative.
     
  10. Vaquero

    Vaquero Pre-ban Staff Member Admin

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    Lol@ the goldwing jokes.
     


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