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  • Sasquatch

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    Apr 20, 2020
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    It can be hard to tell at a glance.

    Yesterday I was in CVS and walked by a Montgomery County deputy. I thought. At first.

    She was neatly done up in uniform with a fairly extensive chest rig.

    As I passed her, I noted...
    • The back of her vest said "Security" in grey text so dark you had to strain to see it against the black vest.
    • Her shoulder patch was exactly the same as an official one until you looked close and read it. It said "Montgomery County Tact Unit". Not "Tactical" or "Tact." but "Tact".
    • I had to strain to see her pistol holster but when I found it, it was empty and attached to the left side of her chest rig, so high it would be very hard to draw with her left hand and so far back it would be unreachable with her right hand. The kicker? It was a soft nylon holster with an over-the-top safety strap for retention, something that probably came from Uncle Mike's. It looked like it wouldn't fit anything bigger than a K-frame snubby.
    It really, really bugs the shit out of me when security guards go to so much trouble to look like real LEOs that they're flirting with an arrest for impersonation.

    So when I see cops obviously doing something stupid I try not to make judgements until I'm absolutely sure it's a real cop.


    And the sad thing is that its usually not up to the individual security guard - they show up for a job and its the crap their employer makes them wear.

    I get the external armor carrier thing to a certain point - a lot of LE are transitioning to them too because carrying 10lbs of shit around your waist leads to back and hip problems, so moving stuff onto a vest carrier alleviates some of that.

    Why they can't just be honest / proud about their actual role though - just put "SECURITY" in big frickin' letters on the back, and smaller letters on the front. Badges for security are kind of dumb, but whatever. But then going out of your way to name your company something that sounds like a government agency - and it happens sooooo damn much there should be something codified to prevent it... usually its owners who wanted to be cops but couldn't, or were mediocre cops who got into security work because its easier.

    I've worked for those types before.

    My last employer in that industry didn't outright mandate the wearing of tactical vests (not external carriers, no, just black tactical vests you could put your gear on if you wanted) that said "AGENT" in big gold letters on the back. If you opted for the standard uniform, it at least sorta didn't look like any local LE - gray uniform shirt (all real local cops wore tan, green, navy, light blue, or black at the time - our sheriff office then switched to gray shirts not too long after, but I wasn't in that industry anymore at that time)

    The company was officially named "Cascade Enforcement Agency" and the patches said "CEPD" - for Cascade Enforcement Patrol Division - which I hated. The guy who owned it was a Martian. Was never actually a cop - was engaged to one for a while. He really walked a razor thin line of impersonation, even putting the toe over that line on more than one occasion. That's why I got out of that business. We actually had some good people who just showed up, did our actual job within the confines of the laws and didn't do sketchy shit.

    There was another nearby company named Arcadia Security Department - they were even worse. Wore uniforms that looked an aweful lot like the Oregon State Police (who did not appreciate the imitation) and one of their guys got arrested for impersonation because he made a traffic stop (their cars had all red lights, not amber) on Interstate 5 one night and a real Oregon State Police trooper came across him.

    I don't think security companies should be able to use the words "Agency" "Bureau" "Department" "Division" or any other governmental-sounding word in the company name or on their patches, nor even using city, county, or state names - nothing like "Houston Security Department" for example or "Montgomery County Tactical Security" - nothing that would make anyone suspect them of being tied to a government agency in any form. Even if they happen to be a government contractor.

    Maybe the state should codify uniform standards for security personnel and make them wear shirt / jacket colors that police don't typically wear, and mandate "SECURITY" be clear and highly visible.

    The most professional security companies I worked for or knew of didn't pull any of that nonsense. No stupid names that sounded like a government agency. No "AGENT" or "OFFICER" emblazoned on the uniforms. And no playing po-leece - you knew your job, knew what you could and couldn't do, and that's what you were expected to follow.

    It can be a fun job, if its not taken to the LARPing level. It has moments of danger or action, but its usually pretty routine and boring. I spent way more time telling people to get dressed and GTFO than I did dealing with crazies or criminal complaints. Usually horny teengers looking for a place to get their groove on away from mom & dad's praying and prying eyes. I still have nightmares though of the time I found two 300+ lb individuals going at it in a damned Ford Escort hatchback. There was just a lot of flesh, and none of it pretty.
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    Sasquatch

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    Or she was taking an Elvis Killer dump and put her gear on upside down due to the intestinal strain cutting off higher brain function.

    Or, she is just a fucking moron.

    Yeah, but how do none of her coworkers say "Hey, Lateesha - your shits on upside down" - for that matter, I think NYPD still mandates leather gear - how did she not realize she's threading the belt thru the buckle the wrong direction?
     

    Hoji

    Bowling-Pin Commando
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    May 28, 2008
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    Yeah, but how do none of her coworkers say "Hey, Lateesha - your shits on upside down" - for that matter, I think NYPD still mandates leather gear - how did she not realize she's threading the belt thru the buckle the wrong direction?
    See last sentence in my previous post . Occam’s Razor or something, something.

    As to coworkers, she probably is a skidmark on the drawers of the department and they hope this gets out as saying anything to her would get a HR complaint.
     

    or.slacker

    Member
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    0   0   0
    Dec 27, 2018
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    When me and my coworkers see a garment on wrong we like to take that person out to lunch to make sure to expose them to as many people as possible while looking like an idiot. If I was that person's coworker, I'd be the one taking pictures.

    Sent from my SM-G781U using Tapatalk
     
    Every Day Man
    Tyrant

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