So my wife freaked...

Discussion in 'General Firearms & Ammo' started by DirtyD, Jan 3, 2009.

  1. DirtyD

    DirtyD Well-Known

    Sep 20, 2008
    A little background first. My wife and i have been together for about 15 years now (married 10), I was a shooter when we met, and have spent the majority of our life together in the military (not the support side of the house either). Up until 2006 I was stationed in Commiefornia and we were living on base. I saw no need to have any of my firearms there and so through a round-about way they ended up in a storage unit in DC. About four months ago we talked about me getting a hand gun and starting to shoot again, I enjoy shooting, and again we are no longer living on a military post, where you could literally sleep with your doors open.... We laid down some ground rules about common sense stuf, keeping it in the safe etc... Now my wife has ZERO personal experience with personally owned firearms andbases her opinions and decisions ontose of her co workers, and (gasp) the media. so my meager collection of three pistols and a shotgun is pure overkill to her, I am constantley hearing about how "we are ready for the invasion"... she refuses to allow my kids to be in the same room as any of my firearms, and almost had a nervous breakdown when I sat down with my kids and had the madatory saftey briefing last time. Reason does not seem to work as she will not put aside emotion long enough. Well tonight one of her female friends came over to drop her daughter off and began asking when I was going to teach her to shoot, as she wanted to purchase a gun for her house (single mom). We had a rather long discussion about needs, saftey and storage. She then asked to look at what I kept here, about 5 minutes later my wife lost it, "I cant believe you would pull those out when there are kids around.... Your son is fascinated.....etc..." Well number one, I am glad my son is fascinated, if he had said "Dad, thats nice but I would rather look at mom's purses" I would be a little worried... I cant wait for him to master the BB gun so we can move into a .22....any way, what I would like to know, is how many of you have been through similar experiences with your significant other, and how did you handle it?

  2. Code3GT

    Code3GT Active Member

    Jun 12, 2008
    This is just my two cents, but since its a woman...have her list her concerns, fears, opinions, what have you, and have a calm, educated discussion. Do a lot of listening and show that you're concerned, that SHE'S concerned. 3 handguns and a shotgun isnt overkill IMO. A shotgun is a staple of home security. 3 handguns is a good start. I'd think its a good father/son hobby if he's interested in shooting. Explain that there's a healthy, right way to get a person into shooting and is much better than him learning from someone else. Involve her in the topics covered and show her that you're both responsible and smart about a great hobby. Exchange her misguided information with true facts. It'll be tough since there's so much emotion involved on her side. Get past that, and open her mind, and you just might come out on top.
  3. Shorts

    Shorts TGT Addict TGT Supporter

    Mar 28, 2008
    I agree with Code3GT. You have a little work on your hands and I would urge you to use as much patience and diplomacy as you can muster. What you have on your side is she's your wife and she's lived with much tougher things than getting comfortable with firearms.

    If you can get to one, maybe you two can take a couple's self defense course or something that yall can do together on the topic of guns and/or protection. It lets her know how serious you are about doing "guns" together as a team rather than guns being a a "yours-only" thing. It also puts her in the role of taking her part of the responsibility of self defense and she'll have a part to do rather than standing on the sidelines harping at you and your readiness ;)

    My husband is a gun guy and puts up with my gunnutness so it works out.
  4. TexHand

    TexHand New Member

    Dec 13, 2008
    San Antonio
    Been through that same experience not to long ago myself. My wife had never been around guns and did like them at all. It was a huge uphill struggle to get my hunting rifle and .45. Then I managed to get her to the range to shoot the .45, and she liked it. Although she was still not comfortable. But working with the kids and guns when she was around showed her I was teaching them responsibility and they were listening. Then I convinced her to let me get them each 22's for Christmas. She was reluctant at first, but I told her how it would teach them responsibility and proper handling, etc. Now in the past couple months, I went from my hunting rifle and 45 to getting her a 9mm, me a 9mm, the kids 22's a shotgun and and carbine and we ahve had family days at the range. Properly exposing the kids to the guns when they ask goes a long way to the take the mystique out of them. THey are interested, but not fasicnated with them. And making sure her concerns were addressed, with stroage, handling, ammo storage, was pretty importnat towards winnign her support.

    HTH -- Pete
  5. JKTex

    JKTex Well-Known

    Mar 11, 2008
    DFW, North Texas
    I feel for you. Mine hates guns all together. But I think she's gotten used to the fact that I carry almost every time we're out anywhere. I think she realized she would not win.

    I recently swapping stocks on my Mossberg so I did that in my study where I could close the door. But for cleaning etc. of my pistols, I do that on the kitchen table usually (with a lot of protection for the table of course ).

    I'm sure she doesn't like it but doesn't really say anything as I think she's getting used to it. I've had guns in the house since day 1 but until the last year or so, they just stayed put up.

    Of course I use the utmost discretion when anyone else is in the house, like my daughters friends.

    You may just need time. And I agree with Code3GT and shorts comments.
  6. FreedomJoyAdventure

    FreedomJoyAdventure Member

    Oct 13, 2008
    +100. If you can hear her out completely without resisting anything she says, she might have an opening in which to consider a new possibility.

    Keep hearing her out, and say "OK, got it. What else bothers you about guns?" until she can't think of anything else.
  7. Jeff-Tex

    Jeff-Tex Member

    Oct 27, 2008
    My wife was a little leary of me stocking up on so much. But we both watch the news so she understands.
  8. byronw999

    byronw999 New Member

    Apr 17, 2008
    Grand Prairie, Texas USA!
    MY wife of 30 years never had a problem with me having guns since her dad and brothers were avid hunters and was around guns her whole life..

    She goes to the range with me several times a year and usually enjoys shooting handguns... Cares nothing for long guns.. Her favorite are my apir of Ruger Vaqueros I use for Cowboy Action shooting....She's a pretty fair shot with those and my Buckmaster 22..

    I think a lot of the problems women have with guns is the fact that we've become to 'cityfied' and they were never around them...

    Just my 02 cents... Yer mileage may vary..

    As far as stocking up goes what she dont know wont get me killed! Shhhh!
  9. lonewolf23c

    lonewolf23c Active Member

    Oct 2, 2008
    I'm not married, and my last girl friend loved to shoot also, so we got along well. She was unfortunately killed by a drunk driver a little over a year ago. My GF and I would spend hours during the weekends out shooting, and often invited friends to join us.

    I've seen the issue you are describing many times, and its all due to the other person(s) lack of knowledge in guns that causes the problem.

    I see no problem with the way you describe your gun handling, and safety. Your kids deserve the opportunity to learn about gun handling, safety, and the fun of shooting recreationally.
  10. Millerwb

    Millerwb Member

    Dec 11, 2008
    My wife was fine with the guns, it was my kids that "did not like them". They would tell me all the time how they did not like guns. So, I took them all about to a range and taught them about my guns. I started them off with a .22, one was even crying at first saying she did not like them Sam I am... oh, I digress. Anyway, when I gave them all the talk about a gun is only a tool and they needed to know how to use a tool, they all tried it. the one that was crying, came back a little later after the first clip saying "can I do it again?" Now they all enjoy shooting at the range.


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