So my wife freaked...

[DirtyD]

A little background first. My wife and i have been together for about 15 years now (married 10), I was a shooter when we met, and have spent the majority of our life together in the military (not the support side of the house either). Up until 2006 I was stationed in Commiefornia and we were living on base. I saw no need to have any of my firearms there and so through a round-about way they ended up in a storage unit in DC. About four months ago we talked about me getting a hand gun and starting to shoot again, I enjoy shooting, and again we are no longer living on a military post, where you could literally sleep with your doors open.... We laid down some ground rules about common sense stuf, keeping it in the safe etc... Now my wife has ZERO personal experience with personally owned firearms andbases her opinions and decisions ontose of her co workers, and (gasp) the media. so my meager collection of three pistols and a shotgun is pure overkill to her, I am constantley hearing about how "we are ready for the invasion"... she refuses to allow my kids to be in the same room as any of my firearms, and almost had a nervous breakdown when I sat down with my kids and had the madatory saftey briefing last time. Reason does not seem to work as she will not put aside emotion long enough. Well tonight one of her female friends came over to drop her daughter off and began asking when I was going to teach her to shoot, as she wanted to purchase a gun for her house (single mom). We had a rather long discussion about needs, saftey and storage. She then asked to look at what I kept here, about 5 minutes later my wife lost it, "I cant believe you would pull those out when there are kids around.... Your son is fascinated.....etc..." Well number one, I am glad my son is fascinated, if he had said "Dad, thats nice but I would rather look at mom's purses" I would be a little worried... I cant wait for him to master the BB gun so we can move into a .22....any way, what I would like to know, is how many of you have been through similar experiences with your significant other, and how did you handle it?

 

[Code3GT]

This is just my two cents, but since its a woman...have her list her concerns, fears, opinions, what have you, and have a calm, educated discussion. Do a lot of listening and show that you're concerned, that SHE'S concerned. 3 handguns and a shotgun isnt overkill IMO. A shotgun is a staple of home security. 3 handguns is a good start. I'd think its a good father/son hobby if he's interested in shooting. Explain that there's a healthy, right way to get a person into shooting and is much better than him learning from someone else. Involve her in the topics covered and show her that you're both responsible and smart about a great hobby. Exchange her misguided information with true facts. It'll be tough since there's so much emotion involved on her side. Get past that, and open her mind, and you just might come out on top.

 

[Shorts]

I agree with Code3GT. You have a little work on your hands and I would urge you to use as much patience and diplomacy as you can muster. What you have on your side is she's your wife and she's lived with much tougher things than getting comfortable with firearms.

If you can get to one, maybe you two can take a couple's self defense course or something that yall can do together on the topic of guns and/or protection. It lets her know how serious you are about doing "guns" together as a team rather than guns being a a "yours-only" thing. It also puts her in the role of taking her part of the responsibility of self defense and she'll have a part to do rather than standing on the sidelines harping at you and your readiness

My husband is a gun guy and puts up with my gunnutness so it works out.

 

[TexHand]

Been through that same experience not to long ago myself. My wife had never been around guns and did like them at all. It was a huge uphill struggle to get my hunting rifle and .45. Then I managed to get her to the range to shoot the .45, and she liked it. Although she was still not comfortable. But working with the kids and guns when she was around showed her I was teaching them responsibility and they were listening. Then I convinced her to let me get them each 22's for Christmas. She was reluctant at first, but I told her how it would teach them responsibility and proper handling, etc. Now in the past couple months, I went from my hunting rifle and 45 to getting her a 9mm, me a 9mm, the kids 22's a shotgun and and carbine and we ahve had family days at the range. Properly exposing the kids to the guns when they ask goes a long way to the take the mystique out of them. THey are interested, but not fasicnated with them. And making sure her concerns were addressed, with stroage, handling, ammo storage, was pretty importnat towards winnign her support.

HTH -- Pete

 

[JKTex]

I feel for you. Mine hates guns all together. But I think she's gotten used to the fact that I carry almost every time we're out anywhere. I think she realized she would not win.

I recently swapping stocks on my Mossberg so I did that in my study where I could close the door. But for cleaning etc. of my pistols, I do that on the kitchen table usually (with a lot of protection for the table of course ).

I'm sure she doesn't like it but doesn't really say anything as I think she's getting used to it. I've had guns in the house since day 1 but until the last year or so, they just stayed put up.

Of course I use the utmost discretion when anyone else is in the house, like my daughters friends.

You may just need time. And I agree with Code3GT and shorts comments.

 

[FreedomJoyAdventure]

This is just my two cents, but since its a woman...have her list her concerns, fears, opinions, what have you, and have a calm, educated discussion. Do a lot of listening and show that you're concerned, that SHE'S concerned. 3 handguns and a shotgun isnt overkill IMO. A shotgun is a staple of home security. 3 handguns is a good start. I'd think its a good father/son hobby if he's interested in shooting. Explain that there's a healthy, right way to get a person into shooting and is much better than him learning from someone else. Involve her in the topics covered and show her that you're both responsible and smart about a great hobby. Exchange her misguided information with true facts. It'll be tough since there's so much emotion involved on her side. Get past that, and open her mind, and you just might come out on top.

+100. If you can hear her out completely without resisting anything she says, she might have an opening in which to consider a new possibility.

Keep hearing her out, and say "OK, got it. What else bothers you about guns?" until she can't think of anything else.

 

[Jeff-Tex]

My wife was a little leary of me stocking up on so much. But we both watch the news so she understands.

 

[byronw999]

MY wife of 30 years never had a problem with me having guns since her dad and brothers were avid hunters and was around guns her whole life..

She goes to the range with me several times a year and usually enjoys shooting handguns... Cares nothing for long guns.. Her favorite are my apir of Ruger Vaqueros I use for Cowboy Action shooting....She's a pretty fair shot with those and my Buckmaster 22..

I think a lot of the problems women have with guns is the fact that we've become to 'cityfied' and they were never around them...

Just my 02 cents... Yer mileage may vary..

As far as stocking up goes what she dont know wont get me killed! Shhhh!

 

[lonewolf23c]

I'm not married, and my last girl friend loved to shoot also, so we got along well. She was unfortunately killed by a drunk driver a little over a year ago. My GF and I would spend hours during the weekends out shooting, and often invited friends to join us.

I've seen the issue you are describing many times, and its all due to the other person(s) lack of knowledge in guns that causes the problem.

I see no problem with the way you describe your gun handling, and safety. Your kids deserve the opportunity to learn about gun handling, safety, and the fun of shooting recreationally.

 

[Millerwb]

My wife was fine with the guns, it was my kids that "did not like them". They would tell me all the time how they did not like guns. So, I took them all about to a range and taught them about my guns. I started them off with a .22, one was even crying at first saying she did not like them Sam I am... oh, I digress. Anyway, when I gave them all the talk about a gun is only a tool and they needed to know how to use a tool, they all tried it. the one that was crying, came back a little later after the first clip saying "can I do it again?" Now they all enjoy shooting at the range.

 

[TXTacticalSource]

DirtyD,

I know what you are going threw... The only difference I have is that my wife actually is terrify by guns from a previous experience in life. But she understand the difference from the gun I own than from the one she had a bad experience with so she respects that side... Would she go to a range with me? No. We have talked about it many time but she is not ready for it.. When I start cleaning my guns I have to hear the whole spills about her and hating the fact that I own a few... The funny part from the story is that not to long ago we had a close encounter here in the house with somebody trying to brake in while we where in the house and she was teh first one screaming get the gun... LOL Bad if you have it bad if you dont!

 

[Charley]

I guess I am a very fortunate man. Mrs. Charley looks on firearms as just another tool. She loves her Makarov, and carries KelTec P32 whenever she is out and about. She's not nuts about guns, like I am, and so many here are, but she knows and appreciates the value they can have.

 

[DrBart2]

I guess I am a very fortunate man. Mrs. Charley looks on firearms as just another tool. She loves her Makarov, and carries KelTec P32 whenever she is out and about. She's not nuts about guns, like I am, and so many here are, but she knows and appreciates the value they can have.

My wife is the same. My wife likes to spend an hour or two at the range at least once per month. She prefers to carry our SA XD40 subcompact, but when that is not convenient she will carry a S&W snubby with 38+p or "my" Kahr PM9. I too am a fortunate man. She is comfortable and shoots well with any gun!

 

[TxPhantom]

It's hard to believe that you have been together for 15 years and much of that time while in the military and the gun issue is just now comimg up. Maybe it was the Kalifornia loco weeds that influenced her.
My better half just today emailed me from work to ask if Friday would be a good day to meet at the range after she gets off work. Gotta love dat woman!!!
Look's like you got some re-education to deal with. Here is a good site to get lots of good gun myth debunk facts. Gun Facts - Your guide for debunking gun control myth
Good luck. Hope it works out for you.

 

[kville79]

I'm not married, thank G*d, but I understand your pain. One of my roomates somehow believes that a .25 auto is going to kill everyone in the house because I have it in my pocket when walking around. The other two won't touch or go near guns, but they don't complain about them... and one even said he felt safer knowing I had them. c'est la vie, I live in Austin.

 

[dee]

Mine doesn't have a problem with guns , besides the few i had when we got married the first guns bought after marrage was a .380 and .22 rifle for her. Now she loves to shoot all the time even bought me a kimber for a late wedding present. Got mad at me about bying an AR but that was 6 months ago and now she see's it as a solid investment and loves to shoot those Texas man eating armadillo's with it. Won't shoot now though since she's pregnant and affraid of the whole lead thing which is ok for me. So i can not relat with you I personally have not been around anyone that doesn't like guns so sorry hope everything works out.

 

[xavierherrera]

My wife is good as long as they stay locked up. She is ok with teaching gun safety. She has gone shooting with me. And, I have been teaching my 7yr old girl to shoot also.

 

[carneyman]

My wife thinks guns are good. If we had the money right now, she would be buying me an AR...damn school. She also "bought" me my pistol as a graduation present. Man I love her.

 

[mac79912]

I am glad my wife love's to shoot.She was antigun when we first met.I took her out to the range so often she decided that she wanted in on the fun.Safety is our number one concern since we have so many firearm's in the house.

 

[DoubleActionCHL]

Introduce her to my wife. She's not so much "into guns" as much as she is into personal responsibility and empowering women. She loves her Coach purses and Burberry scarf, but she trusts her S&W M&P 9mm. Once or twice a month, she holds a Ladies Only CHL class at Shiloh. Her classes are always full, and the ladies have a great time. You'd be surprised at the reasons women take her class; most have a story. It's sad to say, but the quickest way to turn an anti-gun person into a pro-gun is to exploit them as a victim. These women take the class, learn to shoot and other things because they simply refuse to ever again be a victim.

I know it sounds trite, but parents, your wife included, have a responsibility to do everything we can to protect our children. How does a parent live with the loss of a child, faced with the fact that they could have taken steps to prevent it, but refused?

You or she can reach Kymberly through her website: HardlyAngelsCHL.com - Texas Concealed Handgun Licensing (CHL) for Women