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Top 5 Guns to Scare Your Daughter's Boyfriend - IV8888

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  • BuckySWT

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    Oct 6, 2011
    135
    1
    New Braunfels, TX
    Now I'm curious. When did *you* guys lose your virginity? I doubt many of you waited until you were in college or married before you did it with a nice, over 20 yr old young lady :laughing:

    I don't care when Johnny Firstdate loses/lost his cherry...add long as it isn't/wasn't with one of my daughters....I'm fine.

    Yeah...that was daughters...as in 3 of em. Got a son too :)
    Gun collection is growing steadily.

    Sent from my MB865 using Tapatalk
    Texas SOT
     

    OnyxATX

    Active Member
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    2   0   0
    Sep 24, 2013
    291
    1
    Austin, TX
    My guns? To hell with that, I'm getting a custom lower for my daughter (little less than 2 months until she's born) on her birthday, customer serial number, engraving, etc.

    I'll help her build it whenever she's old enough to want to. She brings home a guy she likes, all I have to do is walk into the room with a 1911 on the hip and say "Just so you know, I like you ok... but my baby got a gun the day she was born, and I'm sure you know how upset women get..." (then point to her AR).

    Of course, I do like the idea of having maybe 10 live rounds with 2 empty pieces of brass sitting out, then asking his name and adding a live round to the collection.


    Oh, my girlfriends step father was giving me the evil eye until I took off my coat and had a shirt with an HK 416 selector on it. I shook his hand and said "I really appreciate the "GUNS SAVE LIVES" sticker in your guest room." He promptly handed me the remote and told me I was part of the family.
     

    Bvhawk

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    My daughters first boyfriend came around at the end of a pummling I was giving a bad neighbor for tossing a beer at my youngest daughter of the age 10.

    It seemed to make an impression on him, coming around while the cops had me temporarily restrained and dip-sheet waiting on a ambulance bleeding badly.

    Everything was sorted out, I got to sleep on my own pillow and daughter#1 made it home right on time.
     

    stdreb27

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    Dec 12, 2011
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    Corpus christi
    My daughters first boyfriend came around at the end of a pummling I was giving a bad neighbor for tossing a beer at my youngest daughter of the age 10.

    It seemed to make an impression on him, coming around while the cops had me temporarily restrained and dip-sheet waiting on a ambulance bleeding badly.

    Everything was sorted out, I got to sleep on my own pillow and daughter#1 made it home right on time.

    That would work.
     

    matefrio

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    Jan 19, 2010
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    Missouri, Texas Consulate HQ
    Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter
    Rule One:
    If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.


    Rule Two:
    You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.


    Rule Three:
    I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.


    Rule Four:
    I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.


    Rule Five:
    It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."


    Rule Six:
    I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.


    Rule Seven:
    As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?


    Rule Eight:
    The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

    Rule Nine:
    Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

    Rule Ten:
    Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
     

    IXLR8

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    May 19, 2009
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    Republic of Texas
    All of these scenarios sound all well and good, but look at it from the kids perspective. He sees a really nice firearm. Now he is already plotting a way to get back in so that he can steal it and go shoot it. Maybe.... returning back to its original place before you realize it is missing.
    Suspense is far more effective if they cannot see the vastness of your collection, but hear stories things that may or may not have happened, because you are not at liberty to talk about them.
    Use something vague like "If I don't have a reason, I won't feel the need. Don't give me a reason...."
     
    Last edited:
    Every Day Man
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