What’s the most red neck fix you have done?

[Sam7sf]

Entertaining thread. So? For me two moments stick out. When I was in my early 20’s I was in my friends late 70’s yoter. About 40 miles away from town; middle of nowhere. The drive belt gives. I got this old surplus German duffel bag with thick cotton rope. Try to tie and fuse the rope together as a drive belt. Starts to grab but I can’t make it past 45 miles per hour. Make it back to a Napa auto parts.

Today I had to tow a small light trailer but was pretty tired last night. Forgot to get grease for my ball. Hm...just woke up but I gotta get going...let’s see how choke tube grease holds up. It’s only 30 miles. Lmao I dropped the trailer off just as the grease started breaking down to the load and turning black.

I’m sure I’ll think of more later. You guys?

 

[BRD@66]

I brought 12 ft 4x4 steel posts and 20 ft 6" C purlins home in a SWB Chevy. 12 footers in the bed, the 20 footers were strapped to the side with motorcycle tie-downs & I used 1 gallon laundry soap jugs for standoffs.

 

[SloppyShooter]

I had a 12' Sears Gamefisher that I put a steel pedestal and seat in the front of. It was a semi-V so, the edges of the pedestal were about the only thing contacting the fiberglass boat.

Going across the lake with a buddy in that seat, I noticed sprays of water shooting up as the boat came down from waves. The hull was split pretty badly. I made a beeline to the shore.

I can't remember how I dealt with the bolts , but found a nearly empty gallon can of contact cement on the shore . That, and some cans, made such a good patch , we fished the rest of the day.

 

[Moonpie]

Not really a fix but it solved the immediate problem.

Way way back there I had a 1971 Chevy pick-up truck.
I was traveling late one night down a nowhere road miles from town when the radiator hose let go.
In short order the hose was electrical tape repaired and the radiator cap removed. You can go quite a way with out the cap off but the water will boil out so you have to be careful.
Problem was I had no water for the radiator. Didn't even have any kind of container for water.
This was way out in the middle of nowhere ranch country. I was stuck.
Walked up and down the road for a distance. All I could find for a container was a single 12oz beer can some Bubba had tossed out the window.
The only water I could find was a stock tank about 400yds away across a fence out in a cow pasture.
Question: How many beer cans of stock pond water does it take to fill a 1971 Chevy truck radiator?
Elevenfarkingmillion is the answer.
After god knows how many trips back and forth enough water made it into the radiator where I could safely drive on into town.
I sometimes wonder if anyone was watching that doofuss walking back and forth across a moonlit pasture with a beer can of water.

 

[Bozz10mm]

Hmm, well, back in 19 ought 65, I was tooling around town in my '55 Chevy with the girl friend, when suddenly I had no throttle control. Engine still running, but would only idle. When I checked under the hood, I see that a retaining clip had come off or broken off of the carburetor linkage. After being stuck on the side of the road a few minutes, it dawned on me to ask the girl friend for one of her hair pins. Used that as a sub for the retaining clip. That was good enough to get us where we were going (parking in the park of course) and back home.

BTW, are you really supposed to grease trailer balls? Never have done that.

 

[BRD@66]

Not really a fix but it solved the immediate problem.

Way way back there I had a 1971 Chevy pick-up truck.
I was traveling late one night down a nowhere road miles from town when the radiator hose let go.
In short order the hose was electrical tape repaired and the radiator cap removed. You can go quite a way with out the cap off but the water will boil out so you have to be careful.
Problem was I had no water for the radiator. Didn't even have any kind of container for water.
This was way out in the middle of nowhere ranch country. I was stuck.
Walked up and down the road for a distance. All I could find for a container was a single 12oz beer can some Bubba had tossed out the window.
The only water I could find was a stock tank about 400yds away across a fence out in a cow pasture.
Question: How many beer cans of stock pond water does it take to fill a 1971 Chevy truck radiator?
Elevenfarkingmillion is the answer.
After god knows how many trips back and forth enough water made it into the radiator where I could safely drive on into town.
I sometimes wonder if anyone was watching that doofuss walking back and forth across a moonlit pasture with a beer can of water.

Similar story (but with a bigger water can), stranded on I37 halfway between C.Christi & Santone.

 

[Sam7sf]

BTW, are you really supposed to grease trailer balls? Never have done that.

A lot of people don’t and it’s not a big deal but can extend life and not make annoying sounds. It is still a ball joint

 

[SQLGeek]

Not really a fix but it solved the immediate problem.

Way way back there I had a 1971 Chevy pick-up truck.
I was traveling late one night down a nowhere road miles from town when the radiator hose let go.
In short order the hose was electrical tape repaired and the radiator cap removed. You can go quite a way with out the cap off but the water will boil out so you have to be careful.
Problem was I had no water for the radiator. Didn't even have any kind of container for water.
This was way out in the middle of nowhere ranch country. I was stuck.
Walked up and down the road for a distance. All I could find for a container was a single 12oz beer can some Bubba had tossed out the window.
The only water I could find was a stock tank about 400yds away across a fence out in a cow pasture.
Question: How many beer cans of stock pond water does it take to fill a 1971 Chevy truck radiator?
Elevenfarkingmillion is the answer.
After god knows how many trips back and forth enough water made it into the radiator where I could safely drive on into town.
I sometimes wonder if anyone was watching that doofuss walking back and forth across a moonlit pasture with a beer can of water.

That reminds me of when the radiator was going out on my truck in college. I rode around with several gallon milk jugs of water to keep topping it off. I'd have to refill it practically every time I parked. I miss that truck.

 

[Ole Cowboy]

Sat @ 0800 and headed North by NW to Death Valley. It was an uneventful trip but that was not a predictor of what was to come.


Electrical wire stored under hood

Cut off a piece and strip

Offending broke bolt

Bolt and nut reinserted

Bolt sticks out front and rear

Attach wire to both ends

Wire attached and ready to roll

Wanting to make the long trip home a bit easier and not doing such a long drive, I headed out that nite and stayed in Pharump NV. After a fitful nite of backache and a near exploded intestine, I headed home the next morn. I picked up I 15 S to Needles and was on the way hoping to arrive home by mid afternoon.

I had skipped breakfast due to more than an upset stomach that I had from eating bologna that failed the keep it cool test in Death Valley. It decided to take its revenge on my stomach and intestines. I saw an exit ahead with a grocery store, gas pumps, and hopefully a clean bathroom. I also figured on a long tall cup 'o joe to keep the eyelids open.

I go to make the right for the exit and I notice that the steering wheel turns but the Jeep doesn't. Then as suddenly as I make the turn the Jeep catches up. I know something is bad wrong as I now struggle to get the Jeep pulled over on the shoulder of the exit ramp.

I get out and look under the front end of the Jeep only to discover that the track bar is no longer bolted to the axle. Hum, guess that may be the issue.

Here I am setting on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere wishing I were somewhere else. I spend the next hour or so wandering the side of I 15 hoping to find a bolt somewhere and of course that leads nowhere. Then I start looking on the Jeep for bolts that my be long enough to fit. That too is a dead end.

I crawl under the Jeep and axle to look and contemplate my next step as I know with out some way of bolting down the track bar the Jeep is un-drivable. As I lay there looking I spy the bolt; it is still sticking out the back side of the hole. I reach for it and it falls out in my hand.

Upon examination I see that it does not have a bolt head and it appears to have sheared off. But I do have the bolt and the nut is still attached. I now know that I use this to hold the track bar but I need to find a solution to hold the bolt in place.

Then I remember that I have a electrical connection and some spare wire under the hood of the Jeep. I take out my pocket knife and cut a length of electrical wire. I then strip it and fasten each end to the bolt to keep the bolt from sliding out.

It worked for over 400 miles and the next 6 hours of driving.

 

[Dad_Roman]

.....aaaand Im sure you see whats coming

Try to keep this short...

Vacation, Hawaii, done been to the Harbor and around to North Shore and on around to backside but the sky is turning, time to put the roof on. Roof works fine but the rear door/trunk door doesnt come closed and its on some kinda screwdrive so you cant help it. Brand new rent car so I dont wanna tear it up (done been hit in the Harbor parking lot) so I go searching for some tie-wire. Walking down the road and whassap, above my head, wire. (I was a cable dog once) A piece of messenger had popped and unraveled on the cable TV line. I pulled it tight and had me about 20 foot....flexflexflexflex and POP, off to fix car.

Looked pretty funny goin down the road with that trunk thingy open.

Enterprise folks wasnt too happy when I got back though LOL.

 

[Texan-in-Training]

Ah... so many come to mind.
Overloaded a 1/2 ton Chevy Step Side with too much broken concrete for a landscaping project.
Snapped the driver's side swing arm... no problem. Pulled both swing arm pieces and chained a chunk of railroad tie between the axle and the frame. Down the road we went.
A side note: my ex-wife (may she rest in peace) was driving at the time of the "incident". She had a soda between her legs and I forever, unmercifully, teased her about sucking a hole through the side of the cup.

 

[grasshopperglock]

Put duct tape behind a rust hole on an old John Deere tractor. Painted over it and sold the tractor. You couldn't tell. Not after I sold it. Lol

 

[vmax]

I was on Security Patrol on the B Ramp at Dyess AFB back in about 88

Another security vehicle had been parked in an area where an aircraft would normally be but was gone

The control tower called and said to move out of the way that aircraft was taxiing to that spot

The battery was dead it wouldn't start
The plane was within a few hundred feet now

No jumper cables but I had one coat hanger and a pair of leather gloves
I pulled my vehicle to the dead one and touched metal bumpers and was able to bridge the stretched out hanger between the to positive post and hold it with my gloves on and we got it boosted off and started
I was a hero for 2-3 hours

 

[Byrd666]

Used my girlfriend's pantyhose (that she had luckily been wearing) as a quick fix fan belt for my '70 Malibu.

Used a t-shirt as a wiper blade after one flew off the arm on my '70 something (don't remember which year exactly) pickup during a snowstorm. Not recommended, but, it got me home.

I'm sure there are quite a few more.

 

[Sam7sf]

Used my girlfriend's pantyhose (that she had luckily been wearing) as a quick fix fan belt for my '70 Malibu.

Used a t-shirt as a wiper blade after one flew off the arm on my '70 something (don't remember which year exactly) pickup during a snowstorm. Not recommended, but, it got me home.

I'm sure there are quite a few more.

That’s what I’m talking about! Lol that puts my cotton rope drive belt to shame.

 

[Byrd666]

Tell ya what. From that point on, I ALWAYS had two new pair in my glove box, of whatever car/truck I was driving. Until the advent of the serpentine belt, anyway.

Took some 'splainin' a time or two until the latest g/f would actually believe it/they really were for oh $hit fan belt replacement though.

 

[EZ-E]

Used a wire coat hanger to keep the exhaust from dragging the ground one night after hauling ass down some bumpy country dirt roads being a teenager.

 

[boomgoesthedynamite]

I had a glass pack break off and the hangar broke. Smacked the muffler over the collector and tied it up to the frame with speaker wire.

When I rode dirt bikes, I made it home more than once with my vise grip shifter lever, clutch handle, brake handle. I always carry vise grips and a 35 mm film canister of safety wire in my vehicles now.

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk

 

[Dawico]

Trailer axle bearing bolt was loose and tore up the threads. Nobody would touch it.

New axle? $850

Welder? $400

Drove it on tight and welded it. Held for years and eventually sold the trailer.

 

[Dawico]

Another trailer threw the tread on a tire but didn't pop.

Put the spare on but didn't replace the bad tire. Few weeks later blew a different tire.

Well, put the treadless tire on and made it 40 miles home. Surprised the crap out of me that it made it.