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Which color of M&M's tastes best?

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  • Jack Ryan

    Mr. Medium
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    Aug 22, 2016
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    Eseldorf
    Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

    Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

    I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

    Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

    When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

    This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

    There can be only one.

    Stolen from the internet.
    Then just like in life, all their efforts are in vane. They all die eventually, are eaten, and come out looking exactly the same, with exactly the same future ahead of them.

    Eggs exactly the same. The myth of effort equal reward is nothing more than propaganda those in power use like a carrot on a stick to lead the ignorant masses to perform their bidding.

    Every morning I eat two eggs. Knocking one against the other, once cracks and goes in the bowl to be beaten severely. The other survives to meet the next challenger. The survivor of the three goes to the right side of the carton for the semi finals. Gladiator rules, what they don't know as they sit smugly in the winner section from the preliminary rounds, they are going to die and go in the pan just like their predecessors they have so smugly dismissed as "inferior".
     

    jrbfishn

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    I'm glad I un-friended you before I went to the trouble of friending you.
    You sir,,,,do not deserve a Stetson. You are obviously delusional. SMDH.

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    Moonpie

    Omnipotent Potentate for hire.
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    Gunz are icky.
    There are dark chocolate M&M's?

    under-a-rock-o.gif
     

    jrbfishn

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    I wish. Not crazy about milk chocolate. Too sweet and no taste. Kinda like adding milk and sugar to coffee. Disgusting.

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    TxStetson

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    The Big Country
    I wish. Not crazy about milk chocolate. Too sweet and no taste. Kinda like adding milk and sugar to coffee. Disgusting.

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    I absolutely agree with you on the coffee. However, I don’t care for dark chocolate. Without the sweet taste I don’t see the point in eating it.
     

    jrbfishn

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    Milk chocolate has to be washed down with black coffee. Even semi sweet. Dark is tolerable. I prefer bitter or un-sweetened.
    And the smell of black powder in my beard beats the hell out of aftershave.

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