Why Rednecks Make Good Soldiers

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by GM.Chief, Aug 9, 2009.

  1. GM.Chief

    GM.Chief Well-Known

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    Mar 16, 2009
    An oldie but goodie...


    Dear Ma & Pa:

    Am well. Hope you are. Tell brother Walt & Brother Elmer the Marine
    Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join
    up quick before maybe all of the places are filled.

    I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6
    a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt & Elmer all
    you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No
    hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to
    lay. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad,
    they git warm water.

    Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs,
    bacon, etc..., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak,
    fried eggplant, pie, and other regular food. But tell Walt & Elmer
    you can always sit between two city boys that live on coffee. Their
    food plus yours holds you till noon, when you get fed again. It's no
    wonder these city boys can't walk much.

    We go on "route" marches, which the Platoon Sergeant says are long
    walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him
    different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at
    home. Then the city guys gets sore feet and we all ride back in
    trucks. The country is nice, but awful flat.

    The Sergeant is like a schoolteacher. He nags some. The Capt. is
    like the school board. Majors & Colonels just ride around & frown.
    They don't bother you none.

    This next will kill Walt & Elmer with laughing. I keep getting
    medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big
    as a chipmunk and don't move. And it ain't shooting at you, like the
    Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable
    and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in
    boxes.

    Be sure to tell Walt & Elmer to hurry & join before other fellers
    get into this setup & come stampeding in.


    Your loving daughter, Gail
     


  2. MuddyWaterMan

    MuddyWaterMan Active Member

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    Jun 25, 2009
    Houston
    Roflmao!
     
  3. M. Sage

    M. Sage TGT Addict

    Jan 21, 2009
    San Antonio
    LMAO, the best part right there!
     
  4. Texas42

    Texas42 TGT Addict

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    Temple
    +1

    I thought it was funny till the end.. . . . then it was hy-larious
     
  5. texas_teacher

    texas_teacher Well-Known

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    Feb 14, 2009
    South Korea
    Dear god I'm going to be pass that one on to everyone I know.I almost pissed myself when I read that. Keep it up.
     
  6. Cowtown

    Cowtown Member

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    Aug 2, 2009
    FT. Worth
    Good one.... it has been a long time since I read that one.
     
  7. DCortez

    DCortez TGT Addict

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    Jan 28, 2009
    Houston, Cy-Fair
    :lolz:
     
  8. dbgun

    dbgun TGT Addict

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    Mar 17, 2008
    Houston, TX.
    :lolz::lolz::lolz:
     
  9. Hoji

    Hoji Bowling-Pin Commando

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    May 28, 2008
    Mustang Ridge
    Classic but funny every time.
     
  10. jsbcats

    jsbcats Member

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    May 4, 2009
    Kingwood
    Even more funny if you know a family that fits this story.
     

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