I'm too damn tired to look for the joke threads. So here it is:
A weasel walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “Wow! I’ve never served a weasel before. What Can I get ya?”
“Pop.” Goes the Weasel.
Abraham told his son, Isaac, that he wanted to run the newest Windows software.
Isaac told Abraham there wasn’t enough memory on their computer.
To which, Abraham replied, God will provide the RAM.
A German Shepherd, Doberman and a cat have died. All three are faced with God, who wants to know what they believe in.The German shepherd says, “I believe in discipline training and loyalty to my master.”
“Good,” says God. “Then sit down on my right side. Doberman, what do you believe in?”
The Doberman answers, “I believe in the love, care and protection of my master.”
“Ah, yes,” said God. “You may sit to my left.”
Then he looks at the cat and asks, “And what do you believe in?”
The cat answers, “I believe you’re sitting in my seat.”