This is a long and personal story.
I invite any of you to share similar stories of yours.
TL/DR: Jake saved my life twice; he's still saving it.
Brief background: This happened on the mountain in the spring of 2021; 3 months before my husband was killed. I'd had 3 concussions from skiing accidents previous winters and still had some lingering issues from those: balance, headaches, etc.
I wrote this on Wed, March 24, 2021, a day after it happened, in case the memory of it went away. It didn't go away, and I recall it like it was yesterday.
*********
For the last 6 years, up here on Peaceful Mountain, Tom and I have had 3 dogs. Tom's dog Stryker, a big yellow lab; and my two - Jake, an Anatolian cross I'd rescued in 2015, and Shiny, a miniature schnauzer that was the last survivor of my previous life. We all bonded easily and quickly. The two big dogs became brothers, patrolled the mountain at dawn, kept coyotes away at night, romped through the snow covered mountains and ran free yet stayed close to home. Our boys.
Last Friday, I noticed Jake was having trouble pooping. He'd hunch and strain but nothing would come. I figured he'd eaten deer bones or something and was probably just having trouble passing them... but decided to keep an eye on him. By Sunday he was still trying every few steps, and I knew he was in trouble, so Tom and I and Jake were were at the Vet's when they opened Monday morning at 8.
First, X-rays. No blockage. But the vet felt something large in there so ultrasound was next. Turns out Jake hadn't been hunching to poop, he'd been trying to pee. His bladder was 4x the normal size. Another scan revealed a large tumor, between his bladder and prostate, that was totally blocking him from passing urine. After a long discussion with the vet, and learning that the surgery would buy Jake, maybe, a few more months of life - we made the hard, but clear, choice to not put him through that.
They laid a blanket on the floor in the exam room. While the vet worked, Tom kneeled behind Jake, petted and talked to him through tears. I laid down alongside my beloved boy and cradled his head in my arms. I told him how much he is loved, I thanked him for sharing his life with me, I softly sang to him, my face on his face, I inhaled his last breaths, and he was gone.
We bawled all the way home. My head was pounding.
Soon as we got back to the cabin, I took Shiny out front to pee, Tom took Jake's collar in to Stryker and told him about Jake; Stryker came outside and started howling, long and loud. Stryker's not a howler. Later that day a neighbor called to ask if we knew what the mournful howling was that morning. The neighbor lives a mile away.
The rest of Monday was spent in wailing grief. If you've been through this you know how it comes. In waves. By nightfall my head was hurting so bad I wasn't sure I'd live through the night, so I called my two best friends, told them what had happened, and thanked them for being in my life and how much they meant to me. I took an extra 2 doses of my brain pain medicine, and passed out.
I woke up Tuesday morning (Mar23) with a pounding head. Tom was up and dressed in his snow gear, told me he needed to go ride for a couple hours to clear his head, kissed me and left. I was glad he left because I had some major grief to get out and could do it better alone...but I was totally unprepared for what happened. I cried through my coffee, my brain was ready to explode, so I went outside for some serious screaming at God and the universe for letting this happen. Stryker and Shiny came out with me into the front yard.
I started by closing my eyes, throwing my head back and screaming "Jaaaake!!!" It's the only sound that came out of my throat. I opened my eyes and Jake was running down the hill towards me from up by the array. Stryker and Shiny stayed where they were and turned their heads towards him and watched him run down to us, straight to me. I stood motionless, voiceless, as he got closer and closer and then Jake jumped right inside me. I stood frozen for a few seconds - and then realized I felt light, my head wasn't hurting. My grief was gone, not even sadness remained.
Soon as I could walk, I went back inside, made fresh coffee, took the tag from Jake's collar and added it to the amulet I always wear around my neck, and waited for Tom to get home. When I told him what happened, he said "It makes sense. You saved Jake's life 6 years ago, he saved yours today."
That was yesterday. My headaches are completely gone, even the constant mild ones from before all this happened; nor has any sadness returned. Why should it? Jake's not gone, just different now. He showed me that. So...we have 3 dogs again: Stryker, Shiny - and Jake hanging out with me. This is gonna be fun!
p.s. Because of my brain thingy, there'd be a chance this was a hallucination- except for two little things: The physical changes in me, and that I saw both Shiny and Stryker turn their heads and watch Jake run down the hill towards us. Thank God they were out there with me.
***********
Written a month later:
My physical condition is now as it was before the head injuries; no headaches no dizziness, my balance has returned in full.
In the month since this happened, I've hiked/climbed several times to the top of our mountain! (couldn't for the last 2 years), been working like a trojan digging in plants, doing chores, walking full stride (no more ski-pole for cane), but the best was doc's confirmation yesterday of the changes. No sign of ICD in the follow-up scan. He said he couldn't explain it, but that's okay. I can. It's nice to be fully functional again, Tom's over the moon happy! but he teases me about hanging my head out the window of the truck when we go to town. LOLOL
**********
Written to Jack (FNORD) a year ago (when I shared all that ^^ with him a year ago. He strongly encouraged me to share it with others, which is why I'm doing so now):
It's been almost 2 years now since Jake jumped in. My physical condition is now as it was before the head injuries; no headaches no dizziness, cognition and balance had returned in full and has remained. My only maladies now are those that come with age... normal forgetfulness sometimes, declining vision, and occasional pain in my knees from ski injuries and just overall ageing, etc.
That, and I still retain some of Jake's characteristics which, thankfully, are not problematic in the least LOL. A lot of things changed for me that day, Jack. Not the least of which was the realization that everything I thought I understood - about afterlife, etc - was wrong.
But that's another topic, which we can explore later, or not.
*****************************************************************************
Written today:
So - that's the first time Jake saved my life. Here's how he did it a second time, last May.
I promise, the telling of this will be shorter, and some of you already know some of it. ~
After Jake died, my husband Tom was killed in June. Two weeks later our dog Stryker died and the next day the mountain burned (cabin saved) in a wildfire. I went kinda nutz. By October, I drove off the mountain, giving away everything on it and everything I owned, drove to Houston, started a new relationship, sold my mountain, bought TenOaks, moved out here... with my beloved pup Shiny being the only survivor of my previous life...and she pretty much kept me sane (debatable, lol) for the next two years. She was the safe space for my heart and sanity.
Then she died last May, and I was again alone, and lost, and beyond grief - not only for her but the stress of everything I'd been through since '21. Two days after she died, Duke appeared. He is not Jake reincarnate - but he has Jake's heart-connecting-spirit, to again heal me. And I know beyond knowing that Jake had worked his magic, aligned the stars, and brought Duke into my life. Not just any dog; the dog that would save me.
I still wear Jake's tag around my neck, now with Shiny's added to it, and again the peace, stillness and joy abides within - as it did the day almost three years ago when Jake jumped in.
Jake.
Duke.
I invite any of you to share similar stories of yours.
TL/DR: Jake saved my life twice; he's still saving it.
Brief background: This happened on the mountain in the spring of 2021; 3 months before my husband was killed. I'd had 3 concussions from skiing accidents previous winters and still had some lingering issues from those: balance, headaches, etc.
I wrote this on Wed, March 24, 2021, a day after it happened, in case the memory of it went away. It didn't go away, and I recall it like it was yesterday.
*********
For the last 6 years, up here on Peaceful Mountain, Tom and I have had 3 dogs. Tom's dog Stryker, a big yellow lab; and my two - Jake, an Anatolian cross I'd rescued in 2015, and Shiny, a miniature schnauzer that was the last survivor of my previous life. We all bonded easily and quickly. The two big dogs became brothers, patrolled the mountain at dawn, kept coyotes away at night, romped through the snow covered mountains and ran free yet stayed close to home. Our boys.
Last Friday, I noticed Jake was having trouble pooping. He'd hunch and strain but nothing would come. I figured he'd eaten deer bones or something and was probably just having trouble passing them... but decided to keep an eye on him. By Sunday he was still trying every few steps, and I knew he was in trouble, so Tom and I and Jake were were at the Vet's when they opened Monday morning at 8.
First, X-rays. No blockage. But the vet felt something large in there so ultrasound was next. Turns out Jake hadn't been hunching to poop, he'd been trying to pee. His bladder was 4x the normal size. Another scan revealed a large tumor, between his bladder and prostate, that was totally blocking him from passing urine. After a long discussion with the vet, and learning that the surgery would buy Jake, maybe, a few more months of life - we made the hard, but clear, choice to not put him through that.
They laid a blanket on the floor in the exam room. While the vet worked, Tom kneeled behind Jake, petted and talked to him through tears. I laid down alongside my beloved boy and cradled his head in my arms. I told him how much he is loved, I thanked him for sharing his life with me, I softly sang to him, my face on his face, I inhaled his last breaths, and he was gone.
We bawled all the way home. My head was pounding.
Soon as we got back to the cabin, I took Shiny out front to pee, Tom took Jake's collar in to Stryker and told him about Jake; Stryker came outside and started howling, long and loud. Stryker's not a howler. Later that day a neighbor called to ask if we knew what the mournful howling was that morning. The neighbor lives a mile away.
The rest of Monday was spent in wailing grief. If you've been through this you know how it comes. In waves. By nightfall my head was hurting so bad I wasn't sure I'd live through the night, so I called my two best friends, told them what had happened, and thanked them for being in my life and how much they meant to me. I took an extra 2 doses of my brain pain medicine, and passed out.
I woke up Tuesday morning (Mar23) with a pounding head. Tom was up and dressed in his snow gear, told me he needed to go ride for a couple hours to clear his head, kissed me and left. I was glad he left because I had some major grief to get out and could do it better alone...but I was totally unprepared for what happened. I cried through my coffee, my brain was ready to explode, so I went outside for some serious screaming at God and the universe for letting this happen. Stryker and Shiny came out with me into the front yard.
I started by closing my eyes, throwing my head back and screaming "Jaaaake!!!" It's the only sound that came out of my throat. I opened my eyes and Jake was running down the hill towards me from up by the array. Stryker and Shiny stayed where they were and turned their heads towards him and watched him run down to us, straight to me. I stood motionless, voiceless, as he got closer and closer and then Jake jumped right inside me. I stood frozen for a few seconds - and then realized I felt light, my head wasn't hurting. My grief was gone, not even sadness remained.
Soon as I could walk, I went back inside, made fresh coffee, took the tag from Jake's collar and added it to the amulet I always wear around my neck, and waited for Tom to get home. When I told him what happened, he said "It makes sense. You saved Jake's life 6 years ago, he saved yours today."
That was yesterday. My headaches are completely gone, even the constant mild ones from before all this happened; nor has any sadness returned. Why should it? Jake's not gone, just different now. He showed me that. So...we have 3 dogs again: Stryker, Shiny - and Jake hanging out with me. This is gonna be fun!
p.s. Because of my brain thingy, there'd be a chance this was a hallucination- except for two little things: The physical changes in me, and that I saw both Shiny and Stryker turn their heads and watch Jake run down the hill towards us. Thank God they were out there with me.
***********
Written a month later:
My physical condition is now as it was before the head injuries; no headaches no dizziness, my balance has returned in full.
In the month since this happened, I've hiked/climbed several times to the top of our mountain! (couldn't for the last 2 years), been working like a trojan digging in plants, doing chores, walking full stride (no more ski-pole for cane), but the best was doc's confirmation yesterday of the changes. No sign of ICD in the follow-up scan. He said he couldn't explain it, but that's okay. I can. It's nice to be fully functional again, Tom's over the moon happy! but he teases me about hanging my head out the window of the truck when we go to town. LOLOL
**********
Written to Jack (FNORD) a year ago (when I shared all that ^^ with him a year ago. He strongly encouraged me to share it with others, which is why I'm doing so now):
It's been almost 2 years now since Jake jumped in. My physical condition is now as it was before the head injuries; no headaches no dizziness, cognition and balance had returned in full and has remained. My only maladies now are those that come with age... normal forgetfulness sometimes, declining vision, and occasional pain in my knees from ski injuries and just overall ageing, etc.
That, and I still retain some of Jake's characteristics which, thankfully, are not problematic in the least LOL. A lot of things changed for me that day, Jack. Not the least of which was the realization that everything I thought I understood - about afterlife, etc - was wrong.
But that's another topic, which we can explore later, or not.
*****************************************************************************
Written today:
So - that's the first time Jake saved my life. Here's how he did it a second time, last May.
I promise, the telling of this will be shorter, and some of you already know some of it. ~
After Jake died, my husband Tom was killed in June. Two weeks later our dog Stryker died and the next day the mountain burned (cabin saved) in a wildfire. I went kinda nutz. By October, I drove off the mountain, giving away everything on it and everything I owned, drove to Houston, started a new relationship, sold my mountain, bought TenOaks, moved out here... with my beloved pup Shiny being the only survivor of my previous life...and she pretty much kept me sane (debatable, lol) for the next two years. She was the safe space for my heart and sanity.
Then she died last May, and I was again alone, and lost, and beyond grief - not only for her but the stress of everything I'd been through since '21. Two days after she died, Duke appeared. He is not Jake reincarnate - but he has Jake's heart-connecting-spirit, to again heal me. And I know beyond knowing that Jake had worked his magic, aligned the stars, and brought Duke into my life. Not just any dog; the dog that would save me.
I still wear Jake's tag around my neck, now with Shiny's added to it, and again the peace, stillness and joy abides within - as it did the day almost three years ago when Jake jumped in.
Jake.
Duke.
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