AK versus AR, Dr Seuss style!

[majormadmax]

Saw this on an AK forum, had to share it here; it's pretty funny!

AK versus AR, Dr Seuss style!

I would not use it in a war,
I would not buy it in a store,
I do not like the black AR,
It is not from USSR.
I do not like them, Sam-I-Am
I much prefer the Abakan.

Would you like it from the States?
Or would you like a snowy place?
Would you like to shoot it fast?
Or would you like it from the past?
I'm sure you'll like a new AR,
And not something from the Czar.

I would not use it in the mud,
I would not use it to spill blood,
I do not like Gene Stoner's gun
I don't find maintenance to be fun.
The only rifles that I love
Come from Mikhail Kalashnikov.

Would you use it in a pinch?
Will you not budge a single inch?
Will you set aside this dross,
and accept Eugene as boss?
I'm sure if you weren't quite so crass,
you'd love to cook with DI gas.

I would not use it as a bat
I would not use it to shoot rats
I do not like your M16,
That will not shoot if not kept clean.
Plastic and alloy's not as good
As rifle made of steel and wood.

Would you use it as a pike?
Mount on it a steel spike?
Would you choose the lighter weight,
one less thing on march to hate?
If you choose the lighter kick,
you could kill most any prick.

I would not take it on parade
I would not take it on a raid
I do not like your Armalite
I do not trust it in a fight.
Your western rifle has no charms
It can't match mother Russia's arms.

Don't you like it's svelte profile?
Don't you find the stock worthwhile?
Can't you see the safety's best?
Won't you even give a test?
Your Kalashnikov's a peasant's joke,
good for nothing but wood smoke.

I would not use it to scoop crap
I would not melt it down for scrap
I do not like your twenty-two
That fragments when it should go through.
The Russian peasants all enjoy
The joke that is your plastic toy.
Would you try it if free-floated?

Surely then there's nothing bloated.
Would you lay down in the grass,
feel the trigger break like glass?
With AK, before you quit,
Broad side of barn you will not hit.

Cheers! M2

 

[Angered_Kabar]

Seuss was a commie and this seems biased............

 

[destroyer]

Legit!

 

[BrenGunner]

Awesome.

 

[dae.edorian]

That's only part of it:

I would not use it in the sand
I would not touch it with my hand
I do not like your black carbine
I do not like AR15s
Your DI is quite obsolete
It shits gas where it also eats


Would you use where tigers dwell?
In humid climes where wood does swell?
Would you use it with more rails?
(a field in which the AK fails.)
If you'll only give a squeeze,
You'll find it works with greatest ease.


I would not use it in the woods
I would not use it in the 'hood.
I do not like your Colt M4
That breaks if dropped onto the floor.
I won't be swayed by western swine,
Keep all your rails--RIFLE IS FINE.


You will not use it in a war.
You will not use it any more.
I give up, my rhymes are done.
I must admit, it has been fun.
I think it's time to let things be.
In the end, we'll just disagree.

Original:

http://www.reddit.com/r/guns/comments/nj603/can_anybody_tell_me_anything_about_this_strange/c39jv9v

 

[483]

KALASHNIKOV, lyrics by Goran Bregovich, Serbia


One day,coming down from the mountains, I saw a beautiful girl.
Her hair shone like burnished trunk of my"Kalashnikov".
Three days and three nights I could not sleep,
Thinkingall the time about the girl ...


Kalashnikov - THE BEST MACHINE IN THE WORLD,
And my FAVORITE - the most beautiful in theCarpathians!

He confessed his love to her, and she said -
- Goran, I'm with you too long ago and put an eye!
I took a favorite gun and started shooting forjoy in heaven, crying:

BOOM BOOM BOOM ...
<Untranslatable word play in Serbian>
Kalashnikov!
Kalashnikov!
Ka-lash-ni-kov!

We stared at each other, and then I went toher father and asked for the hand of his daughter,
And hesaid: "Goran, you're a good boy,take her to wife!"
Three days and three nights I could not sleep,
I thought -would rather have a wedding!

Kalashnikov - THE BEST MACHINE IN THE WORLD,
But my wedding will be the most fun in theCarpathians!

The priest married us, and started a bigcelebration,
All danced,played music, brandy flowed a river ...
The next morning with a hangover, I thoughtsome kid climbs to my wife.
I got angry, took the beloved"Kalashnikov" and began to shoot at him, shouting:

BOOM BOOM BOOM ...
Kalashnikov!
Kalashnikov!
Ka-lash-ni-kov!

Then I walked through the village for a longtime, drinking, crying, swearing,
Firing in all directions, cursing, crying anddrinking again ...
Three days and three nights I did not sleep,kept thinking -
How to liveafter his wife shot and killed?

Kalashnikov - THE BEST MACHINE IN THE WORLD,
And I - THE MAN IN THE UNLUCKIEST Carpathians...

I decided to drink lots of brandy and red wine,So I do not have heart ached ...
I went to the Jew and asked him to pour intodebt. The Jew said - "Shah? You did a bad man and then,
Who wouldgive me money, when Russian peacekeepers will take you to jail? "
Silently, I got the machine, but when Istarted to shoot, could not resist and shouted:

BOOM BOOM BOOM ...
Kalashnikov!
Kalashnikov!
Ka-lash-ni-kov!

... When, drunk, I left the shop, drinkingbrandy and there all the wine,
I wanted to shoot more of the"Kalashnikov" ...
Three days and three nights I could not sleep,ran to the mountains and shot into the sky!

Kalashnikov - THE BEST MACHINE IN THE WORLD,
And our brandy - the strongest in theCarpathians!

And suddenly I ran out of ammunition forKalashnikov!
How to shoot now? I went to the Russiansoldiers, as they say -
- "Goran, we will not give you ammo,you're drunk!"
Who are they to decide drunken Serb or not!?
I threw up right Kalashnikov, forgot that hehad no ammunition -
- And I have killed by Russian soldiers ...

BOOM BOOM BOOM ...
Kalashnikov!
Kalashnikov!
Ka-lash-ni-kov!

 

[majormadmax]