Ole Cowboy
TGT Addict
Mark Twain and the Art of Swearing
“Most people should not swear. This is not a moral judgment but an artistic one. The fact is, most people don’t know how to swear any more than they know how to play the bassoon. Both require years of practice and expert instruction. Yet virtually all the swearing one hears in the course of a day sounds trite, discordant, and uninspired. The lack of melody and imagination offends the ear more than the words offend the sense of decency. Profanity should therefore be left to the skilled and well-trained professional.” Continuing on, “There ought to be a room in this house to swear in,” he told a friend. “It’s dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.” He observed that, “Under certain trying circumstances swearing provides relief denied even to prayer.” And continued, “If I cannot swear in heaven, I shall not stay there.”
“Most people should not swear. This is not a moral judgment but an artistic one. The fact is, most people don’t know how to swear any more than they know how to play the bassoon. Both require years of practice and expert instruction. Yet virtually all the swearing one hears in the course of a day sounds trite, discordant, and uninspired. The lack of melody and imagination offends the ear more than the words offend the sense of decency. Profanity should therefore be left to the skilled and well-trained professional.” Continuing on, “There ought to be a room in this house to swear in,” he told a friend. “It’s dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.” He observed that, “Under certain trying circumstances swearing provides relief denied even to prayer.” And continued, “If I cannot swear in heaven, I shall not stay there.”