So, yeah. I made a little mistake coming back from CA.
So I go through the rape-scan (rapiscan body screening bullshit) and assume the required "I give up" (my rights) pose, and express my enjoyment by giving the dual universal sign of friendship or as some may prefer - using my fingers to count the IQ of the average TSA agent starting with my middle one.
I collect my shoes and put them on. Then I grab my laptop and I wait for my laptop case to come through the x-ray. The guy watching the screen asks one of the other geniuses to come look at something.
TSA: "Sir is this bag yours?"
Me: "Yep"
TSA: "We need to scan it again"
Me: "No problem"
So they send it through again. Same thing, only now its three geniuses. I am beginning to wonder if they are screwing with me over my previous pose. I can see the screen and I can't make it out. Something rectangular. Power brick for my laptop? I try to think of what else it could be. I still can't make it out and I am trying to rack my brain for what it is with no luck.
TSA: "Sir we are going to have to manually inspect your bag"
Me: "No Problem"
So they take my bag to a table in the "secure area" like 10 feet from me. One of them starts going through it then has a sort of "Ah-ha!" moment.
TSA: "Sir! Do you know what's in here?!?!"
Me: (dumbfounded) "Laptop cable? CDs? Cell phone and charger?"
The TSA guy does not respond, he just turns his back to me and yells that he needs a supervisor.
TSA: "What time is your flight?"
Me: "I think it boards at 8:45" (Its like 8:20)
No more communication. Shortly there are about six TSA agents plus a Supervisor huddled around my bag speaking in hushed tones obviously passing something around.
Then I get a glimpse of it and have MY "AH-Ha!" moment.
(feel free to skip background info)
Lets flash back...
Saturday morning, I wake up early at my brothers house in the mountains of Southern CA. We have to leave by noon to make sure we get to my niece's graduation at UCLA by 4:00PM. Its just me, my wife, and 2 kids (4 & 7). My brother left the day before. So, we have to clean my brother's house up, towels and sheets in the laundry, go over all three floors (its a nice house) from bottom to top cleaning. My wife helps the kids pick up the the pool table balls from the floor where the kids had been "racing them" and notices the "Eight Ball" is missing. The kids have no clue. They tear the room apart furniture moving etc. No luck. I go search it thoroughly, question the kids, call my brother to verify it wasn't missing before, etc....we have now lost a good hour or so. Now we are frantically trying to get packed and out and still are about 1/2 hour behind schedule. As we are locking up the place, I notice something that didn't get packed so I tucked it into my laptop bag with all intents of putting it in a checked bag later. Without a wall of text, I won't describe the details that lead to re-packing at 1AM before getting up at 6AM to go catch the plane with wife and kids, huge securit line, etc.)
(tune back in here)
I see my 1911. Not the STI, but the almost all plastic airsoft one. Its a springer I paid <$20 for. Has the blaze orange ring around the barrel, etc. The only metal is in the magazine and a couple of weights in the handle.
Ok I know...I screwed up. I am dumb. It happens. Then the real fun begins:
TSA: "What is this?!?"
Me: (feeling like a dope) "Its an airsoft pistol. I forgot I stuck it in there. Its worth less than $20. Just throw it out."
TSA: "You mean its not real?"
Me: "No. Its airsoft"
TSA: "So like paintball?"
Me: "Kind of, except its spring loaded and shoots little plastic BBs. Seriously, I am sorry. It was a mistake. Just throw it out, its fine."
TSA: "So it is not a real gun?"
Me: "No, just throw it out"
Then some more hushed whispering among the supervisor and the others.
TSA: "Sir, it looks too much like a real gun, we can't let you take it through security."
Me: "No problem. Throw it away."
TSA: "Sir, we can return it to you and you can go check it at the gate."
Me: "No its fine. Its only 20 bucks. Throw it out"
TSA: "You sure?"
Me: "Yes" (thinking to myself why would I spend $25 to check a $20 item and risk missing my flight which is now close to boarding?"
So the TSA guy throws it out and the crowd disperses. Now they proceed to take everything out of my bag, put it all in multiple bins, put the empty bag in its own bin and run it all through the scanner again.
Satisfied, they let me reassemble my stuff and go on my way.
SO...
1) I am dumb
2) The TSA treated me very well and professionally
3) But really? Like 6 TSA agents including a supervisor and they are having trouble identifying a "toy" gun in spite of being made of plastic including the barrel, having a red/orange band around the end of the barrel, taking out the magazine and seeing it does not hold bullets, etc... Wow. Good training there.
So I go through the rape-scan (rapiscan body screening bullshit) and assume the required "I give up" (my rights) pose, and express my enjoyment by giving the dual universal sign of friendship or as some may prefer - using my fingers to count the IQ of the average TSA agent starting with my middle one.
I collect my shoes and put them on. Then I grab my laptop and I wait for my laptop case to come through the x-ray. The guy watching the screen asks one of the other geniuses to come look at something.
TSA: "Sir is this bag yours?"
Me: "Yep"
TSA: "We need to scan it again"
Me: "No problem"
So they send it through again. Same thing, only now its three geniuses. I am beginning to wonder if they are screwing with me over my previous pose. I can see the screen and I can't make it out. Something rectangular. Power brick for my laptop? I try to think of what else it could be. I still can't make it out and I am trying to rack my brain for what it is with no luck.
TSA: "Sir we are going to have to manually inspect your bag"
Me: "No Problem"
So they take my bag to a table in the "secure area" like 10 feet from me. One of them starts going through it then has a sort of "Ah-ha!" moment.
TSA: "Sir! Do you know what's in here?!?!"
Me: (dumbfounded) "Laptop cable? CDs? Cell phone and charger?"
The TSA guy does not respond, he just turns his back to me and yells that he needs a supervisor.
TSA: "What time is your flight?"
Me: "I think it boards at 8:45" (Its like 8:20)
No more communication. Shortly there are about six TSA agents plus a Supervisor huddled around my bag speaking in hushed tones obviously passing something around.
Then I get a glimpse of it and have MY "AH-Ha!" moment.
(feel free to skip background info)
Lets flash back...
Saturday morning, I wake up early at my brothers house in the mountains of Southern CA. We have to leave by noon to make sure we get to my niece's graduation at UCLA by 4:00PM. Its just me, my wife, and 2 kids (4 & 7). My brother left the day before. So, we have to clean my brother's house up, towels and sheets in the laundry, go over all three floors (its a nice house) from bottom to top cleaning. My wife helps the kids pick up the the pool table balls from the floor where the kids had been "racing them" and notices the "Eight Ball" is missing. The kids have no clue. They tear the room apart furniture moving etc. No luck. I go search it thoroughly, question the kids, call my brother to verify it wasn't missing before, etc....we have now lost a good hour or so. Now we are frantically trying to get packed and out and still are about 1/2 hour behind schedule. As we are locking up the place, I notice something that didn't get packed so I tucked it into my laptop bag with all intents of putting it in a checked bag later. Without a wall of text, I won't describe the details that lead to re-packing at 1AM before getting up at 6AM to go catch the plane with wife and kids, huge securit line, etc.)
(tune back in here)
I see my 1911. Not the STI, but the almost all plastic airsoft one. Its a springer I paid <$20 for. Has the blaze orange ring around the barrel, etc. The only metal is in the magazine and a couple of weights in the handle.
Ok I know...I screwed up. I am dumb. It happens. Then the real fun begins:
TSA: "What is this?!?"
Me: (feeling like a dope) "Its an airsoft pistol. I forgot I stuck it in there. Its worth less than $20. Just throw it out."
TSA: "You mean its not real?"
Me: "No. Its airsoft"
TSA: "So like paintball?"
Me: "Kind of, except its spring loaded and shoots little plastic BBs. Seriously, I am sorry. It was a mistake. Just throw it out, its fine."
TSA: "So it is not a real gun?"
Me: "No, just throw it out"
Then some more hushed whispering among the supervisor and the others.
TSA: "Sir, it looks too much like a real gun, we can't let you take it through security."
Me: "No problem. Throw it away."
TSA: "Sir, we can return it to you and you can go check it at the gate."
Me: "No its fine. Its only 20 bucks. Throw it out"
TSA: "You sure?"
Me: "Yes" (thinking to myself why would I spend $25 to check a $20 item and risk missing my flight which is now close to boarding?"
So the TSA guy throws it out and the crowd disperses. Now they proceed to take everything out of my bag, put it all in multiple bins, put the empty bag in its own bin and run it all through the scanner again.
Satisfied, they let me reassemble my stuff and go on my way.
SO...
1) I am dumb
2) The TSA treated me very well and professionally
3) But really? Like 6 TSA agents including a supervisor and they are having trouble identifying a "toy" gun in spite of being made of plastic including the barrel, having a red/orange band around the end of the barrel, taking out the magazine and seeing it does not hold bullets, etc... Wow. Good training there.
