Rant: NO SOLICITING

[Mexican_Hippie]

Quit friggin' coming to my door to sell me stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I want something I'll call you.

So I'm working at home today and I'm on a conference call. I hear my doorbell ring and walk to the front door. I see a guy w/ a clipboard from some company I haven't hear of. We ignore him and go about our business. He starts knocking. Its pissing me off, but I think maybe I have a broken sprinkler head or something he's pointing out.

I finally go open the door, and he starts in on his sales spiel. I stop him and point out the NO SOLICITING sign. He says, "I saw that but..." That's when I stop him and tell him he's free to leave my porch.

He saw it but????? But he doesn't give a crap and doesn't respect my wishes on my own property. That's the bottom line. I don't want people ringing my doorbell while I'm working at home.


What do I gotta do to make it real plain that I don't want to receive salespeople at my door? Maybe I need to upgrade my sign to one like one of these?

 

[Dhayes]

 

[Ole Cowboy]

You MIGHT want to add to the bottom of the No Soliciting this: Don't knock unless you are a KNOCK-OUT!

I am a single Army Captian, its Sat afternoon, just finished mowing the lawn on a HOT afternoon. I am sitting in the cool AC just popped a cold one. Who the hell is that knocking at my door? I go and she is a senior at UT Austin and she has some part time job selling I forgot what. I am the last ranch on this road, its about 3:30 and I am her last call for the day. Eyes lock, I offer her a beer, I didn't buy what she was selling, by I took what she was giving...

 

[txinvestigator]

I am a single Army Captian, its Sat afternoon, just finished mowing the lawn on a HOT afternoon. I am sitting in the cool AC just popped a cold one. Who the hell is that knocking at my door? I go and she is a senior at UT Austin and she has some part time job selling I forgot what. I am the last ranch on this road, its about 3:30 and I am her last call for the day. Eyes lock, I offer her a beer, I didn't buy what she was selling, by I took what she was giving...

haahaahaa, we must of read the same issue of Penthouse

 

[Ole Cowboy]

haahaahaa, we must of read the same issue of Penthouse

That is not a Penthouse story....

 

[Jakashh]

What if i'm selling something you don't know you want yet?

 

[cbigclarke]

What if i'm selling something you don't know you want yet?

Sooo many places I could take that

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[F350-6]

Luckily I live out in the middle of nowhere and don't get door to door salesman (or college age women for those of you with magazine subscriptions).

But I would suggest something similar to what I do to those wonderful telemarketers who are for some reason allowed to call me even though I'm on that don't call me list.

For your solicitor, be polite and tell them, hang on just a second. I'm on the phone and I'll be right back. Leave them standing on the porch for as long as you feel like. If they haven't left after 15 or 20 minutes, go open the door again and apologize. Sorry, I forgot you were here. I got caught up in the phone conversation. Let me go get off the phone real quick. Hang on just a second.... And leave them standing on the porch again.

Your neighbors should thank you for this since you're keeping the salesman off their porch. I do the same with telemarketers except I say there's someone at the door and lay the phone down. I don't hold it against the poor individual who is just trying to earn a paycheck and likely getting paid very little to put up with rude individuals who don't like to be bothered. It's a win-win-win. They're still on the clock doing what they do, they're not really bothering me too much, and they're not bothering someone else while they're waiting on my return.

 

[Dhayes]

I remember one time I was working as a telemarketer for the L.A.Times Newspaper. One of the numbers I dialed from the list they gave me was a payphone. I ended up selling a subscription to the person that answered.

 

[txinvestigator]

That is not a Penthouse story....

Lol. Whatever gets you through the day.

 

[winchster]

Luckily I live out in the middle of nowhere and don't get door to door salesman (or college age women for those of you with magazine subscriptions).

But I would suggest something similar to what I do to those wonderful telemarketers who are for some reason allowed to call me even though I'm on that don't call me list.

For your solicitor, be polite and tell them, hang on just a second. I'm on the phone and I'll be right back. Leave them standing on the porch for as long as you feel like. If they haven't left after 15 or 20 minutes, go open the door again and apologize. Sorry, I forgot you were here. I got caught up in the phone conversation. Let me go get off the phone real quick. Hang on just a second.... And leave them standing on the porch again.

Your neighbors should thank you for this since you're keeping the salesman off their porch. I do the same with telemarketers except I say there's someone at the door and lay the phone down. I don't hold it against the poor individual who is just trying to earn a paycheck and likely getting paid very little to put up with rude individuals who don't like to be bothered. It's a win-win-win. They're still on the clock doing what they do, they're not really bothering me too much, and they're not bothering someone else while they're waiting on my return.

The phone thing is how my dad has handled telemarketers for years. I'm going to have to give it a try for the door to door guy. I like the idea.

 

[Younggun]

Just exclaim in a frantic and angry voice "YOu work for THEM, don't you!" Let your imagination take it from there.

 

[Younggun]

This one time, I was hitch hiking down this road in the middle if nowhere. Suddenly, this bus full of bikini models pulls up beside me.....

 

[cbigclarke]

This one time, I was hitch hiking down this road in the middle if nowhere. Suddenly, this bus full of bikini models pulls up beside me.....

And threw all there trash on you while screaming, BURN IT!!!

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[RetArmySgt]

When it come to telemarketers i answer in spanish, so they get someone that speaks spanish and i change to Korean, then German, then back to spanish. I dont speak much of any of those languages anymore but it is fun until they get tired and hang up.

 

[txinvestigator]

I just don't answer the door.

For telemarketers I say "no thank you" and hang up.

 

[benenglish]

To the OP -

My HOA prohibits posting signs like that. I don't mind. If I stopped all solicitations, I'd never get any horny college girls who have a thing for fat, bald, ugly old men.

Of course, that hasn't happened yet. The only thing I ever wind up buying is Girl Scout cookies which adds to the "fat and ugly" problem.

About phone solicitors -

My father used to answer the phone "Bryce Hospital. Dr. Chisholm speaking."

That was when we lived in Mobile, AL and Bryce was the state mental institution. My dad could would use a really scary, booming, mad-scientist-type voice and a really arch delivery. The way he said it, the pacing and all, could convince anyone who didn't know better that the speaker probably was interrupted in the middle butchering his latest victim.

Friends would laugh and start talking. Everyone else would just hang up.

 

[Glockster69]

I dunno, in a few years you'll be rockin in the old folks home begging for them.
You should just be glad you're getting visitors Hippie.

 

[Army 1911]

I have been known to just set the phone down on telemarketers and then hang up later when I here the dial tone beep beep beep.

 

[Mexican_Hippie]

I dunno, in a few years you'll be rockin in the old folks home begging for them.
You should just be glad you're getting visitors Hippie.

What? LOL - I'm not as old as you old farts!