The Difference Between Conservatives and Liberals: If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one. If a liberal doesn't like guns, then no one should have one. If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat. If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants to ban all meat products for everyone. If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy. A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good. If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly enjoys his life. If a liberal is homosexual, he loudly demands legislated respect. If a black man or Hispanic is conservative, he sees himself as independently successful. Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection. If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him. If a conservative doesn't like a certain talk show host, he switches channels. Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down. If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church. A liberal non-believer wants all religious expression to be silenced. If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it. A liberal demands that his neighbors pay for his.