Facing ETERNITY

[leVieux]

Well, I'm not a morning person but agreed to get up early and go to breakfast with her on a day off. We got in the car and I started driving. I just wanted to drive and enjoy the silence. As usual, she was blathering incessantly about something unimportant. We passed by field on the outskirts of Houston where they still had pastures at the time. She went on and on about how strange it was to live in an urban area and still be surrounded by cattle. On and on and on she went about cows. Then she asked, "Do you think cows could be trained to do tricks like other animals?"

Without batting an eye I I looked at her and said, "Will you please just shut the fuk up!?". She didn't speak a word to me for weeks.

We might still be together if she hadn't gotten over it and started talking again!

I had never used language like that before with her and I think she was shocked out of her head!!!

Soon after, I moved out, gave her the house and a tidy sum of money, moved into an apartment (and later a house) and began what has been a 14 year bachelorhood!

You may be "blessed". . . . . . . .

BTW, I don't think it is even possible for them to STFU.

 

[leVieux]

My wife is not a nagger. I got lucky the second time around.

Don't brag. . . . . YET !

She still has time.

Good Luck !

 

[rotor]

>
At age 78.5, having outlived Family & many Friends, I am pondering "forever" and the "afterlife".

Although not seriously ill, and remaining very active, I still must peer into whatever future may be there.

One recurring thought is this: Will I ever find peace from nagging, or does it continue on forever ?

leVieux
.
.

Nope, and I am older than you. Why worry about it? Go with the flow.

 

[1911'S 4 Me]

Unless you have something on the Clinton's it will happen when your maker decides.
So live every day as you want.

 

[HawkeyeSATX]

As I can attest to my own bad luck, I’m on wife #4, and she was good until she got pregnant, then someone turned the witch switch on, and forgot to turn it off.
You know what?!? I now know, and get Henny Youngman’s jokes.
Henny, “ A co-worker came up to me, and asked me who the lady was that was walking with me down the street. I said curtly, that’s no LADY, that’s MY WIFE!!”
A lot of times, Henny would start his routine off with,”Somebody! Take my wife! PLEASE!!!!”
I didn’t think he was funny when I was in my 20’s, but now I am twice as old, that man was an f-ing genius!!


Hawk

 

[skfullgun]

As I can attest to my own bad luck, I’m on wife #4, and she was good until she got pregnant, then someone turned the witch switch on, and forgot to turn it off.
You know what?!? I now know, and get Henny Youngman’s jokes.
Henny, “ A co-worker came up to me, and asked me who the lady was that was walking with me down the street. I said curtly, that’s no LADY, that’s MY WIFE!!”
A lot of times, Henny would start his routine off with,”Somebody! Take my wife! PLEASE!!!!”
I didn’t think he was funny when I was in my 20’s, but now I twice as old, that man was an f-ing genius!!


Hawk

Yep. Henny and Rodney Dangerfield!

Gee, Hawk, and I thought my "picker" was broken!!!

 

[Dancing Heretik]

Well, I'm not a morning person but agreed to get up early and go to breakfast with her on a day off. We got in the car and I started driving. I just wanted to drive and enjoy the silence. As usual, she was blathering incessantly about something unimportant. We passed by field on the outskirts of Houston where they still had pastures at the time. She went on and on about how strange it was to live in an urban area and still be surrounded by cattle. On and on and on she went about cows. Then she asked, "Do you think cows could be trained to do tricks like other animals?"

Without batting an eye I I looked at her and said, "Will you please just shut the fuk up!?". She didn't speak a word to me for weeks.

We might still be together if she hadn't gotten over it and started talking again!

I had never used language like that before with her and I think she was shocked out of her head!!!

Soon after, I moved out, gave her the house and a tidy sum of money, moved into an apartment (and later a house) and began what has been a 14 year bachelorhood!

I, like you, prefer quiet. My daughter raised her voice at me once as a teenager. Her response to me getting mad at her 'yelling' at me was to tell me that she's been whispering all her life. Her 'yelling' was her normal voice. I forgot that I had taught her to whisper as a child because it was the only way I could get her to talk softly enough for my comfort.

I probably would have reacted like you to your wife's incessant talking. There is much to be said for peace and quiet.

 

[leVieux]

Nope, and I am older than you. Why worry about it? Go with the flow.

Is someone really "older" ? First off, CONGRATULATIONS ! for the achievement !

leVieux

 

[leVieux]

As I can attest to my own bad luck, I’m on wife #4, and she was good until she got pregnant, then someone turned the witch switch on, and forgot to turn it off.
You know what?!? I now know, and get Henny Youngman’s jokes.
Henny, “ A co-worker came up to me, and asked me who the lady was that was walking with me down the street. I said curtly, that’s no LADY, that’s MY WIFE!!”
A lot of times, Henny would start his routine off with,”Somebody! Take my wife! PLEASE!!!!”
I didn’t think he was funny when I was in my 20’s, but now I twice as old, that man was an f-ing genius!!


Hawk

Gee, "she got pregnant". . . . . On her own, or didju help a bit ?

 

[OldCurlyWolf]

Because it’s often worth it


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

Been married three times, divorced twice. Didn't want the first one, the second one was worth the lawyer's fees and court costs. No. 3 is at 24 years and counting. Think I found a keeper.

 

[bbbass]

I see it like this:

In the afterlife, once you pass on from this earthly plane, two things may happen (unless you are Catholic)...

1. You go thru St. Peter's Gate and enter Heaven. There, you finally find eternal peace.

2. You drop thru the Gates of Hell and suffer perpetual nagging.

Optional for Catholics:

3. You enter Purgatory and cannot leave until you win a Western gunfight against Alec Baldwin; who(m) is nagging you about gun use/ownership.

 

[cajunautoxer]

Divorce always worked pretty good for me.

But it's expensive.

I totally agree with being expensive. Mine 2 years ago cost me a little over $100,000

 

[bbbass]

Mine cost me all my guns.

My wife is not a nagger. I got lucky the second time around.

I'd say my current wife knows better, but with her cognitive impairment, no training lasts more than a few minutes.

You may be "blessed". . . . . . . .

BTW, I don't think it is even possible for them to STFU.

Be careful what you wish for... "STFU and leave me alone" can easily come true... at least in part.

 

[skfullgun]

Believe me, I ain't bragging. But my last divorce cost me about 250 k. The proviso was that she would leave my retirement alone!

 

[toddnjoyce]

Treat every day as your first and last.

 

[leVieux]

I see it like this:

In the afterlife, once you pass on from this earthly plane, two things may happen (unless you are Catholic)...

1. You go thru St. Peter's Gate and enter Heaven. There, you finally find eternal peace.

2. You drop thru the Gates of Hell and suffer perpetual nagging.

Optional for Catholics:

3. You enter Purgatory and cannot leave until you win a Western gunfight against Alec Baldwin; who(m) is nagging you about gun use/ownership.

Does that mean that if I'm Catholic I can take my Python ?

 

[leVieux]

Been married three times, divorced twice. Didn't want the first one, the second one was worth the lawyer's fees and court costs. No. 3 is at 24 years and counting. Think I found a keeper.

Congratulations on your "KEEPER" !

 

[CharlieWH2O]

My Avatar says it for me...

 

[Vaquero]

I knew I was lucky.

Ya'll certainly reinforced my beliefs.

Thanks.

 

[Texasjack]

I'm pretty sure no woman could out nag my first wife. Every time I see a broom, I break out in a sweat for fear she rode into town.

True story: Remember Johnny Bench? Catcher for the Cincinnati Reds, famously on the Wheaties box, etc. Got on a plane with my now-ex and Johnny happened to be on the flight. I pointed him out to my wife, who immediately told me it wasn't him. As soon as they let people go to the bathroom, she had to get up. By chance, Johnny was in line ahead of her. I could hear her start in on him: "Are you Johnny Bench? My husband said you were but I didn't believe him and now I see you look a little like the cereal box but are you really him or are you just telling me that and where are you going and is your wife with you......" Bench stepped aside and said, "Ladies first" so my wife would go into the first open bathroom - and hopefully shut up. She had no idea.

I survived pancreatic cancer. It has a really poor survival rate. God and I had a lot of conversations and they all included, "Thy will, not my will." I made my peace, and God decided I should stay here awhile longer. I don't fear death, but I do fear the potential method.

Years ago, I was working late and the security guard stopped by and we chatted a bit. I don't remember how the subject of death came up (something in the news at the time) and he said that he had learned not to fear death. Learned?, I asked. He told me that he was on the beach at Anzio. The Germans had cannons up in the mountains and they rained down artillery shells until they literally ran out. When it was over, he said, I stood up, 3 other guys stood up, and everyone else on my part of the beach was either dead or wounded. Later on his platoon was pulled off the line for a rest. They were in a rear area and some officer asked them to help string a phone wire in some trees. The guy above him in the tree suddenly fell to the ground. When they checked on him, a bullet from maybe miles away had fallen into his eye socket and into his brain as he was looking up in the tree. "You see," said the security guard, "if your time is up, it's up. If your time isn't up, you can be in the middle of hell and walk away. There's no use in worrying about it. Just go on with your life."

And, yes, as long as there are women, nagging will be eternal.