My cancer returned :(

[Texan-in-Training]

Praying for you, sir!

 

[SA_Steve]

Stay positive and avoid any negative things and people.
You come first.

 

[Glenn B]

Just got news after a visit to the ER twice over a period of 4 days for what I thought was constipation related. First ER visit confirmed something was in my lower abdomen region, which I felt a bit of during a self-exam for constipation (no I didnt fingerbang myself lol). I was given tylenol-codeine 4 for the pain and was told by the doc its highly likely cancerous and maybe stage 3 definitively and possibly stage 4 because I keep losing weight even after eating normally. Well 2 days later I get even worse pains than the last time and i end up going to baylor scott n white in temple. they confirmed a mass was there but it was in my lower back around the right side of my spine and they say the size was 13x5x8cm and creeping towards major blood vessels from my kidneys They agree its a definite stage 3 and maybe 4. they wont know for sure until a biopsy is done if its stage 4. My estranged wife was being very emotionally abusive to me 3 weeks prior to my diagnosis so I ended up walking out on her. I couldnt take it anymore. Now she constantly talks trash about me losing a testicle to cancer. sends harassing emails, the whole 9 yards and then some.

Here is hoping you will kick cancer's arse. You did it once and you can do it again - even stage 4 cancer - I know after having survived stage 4 tonsilar and lymph node cancer where every lymph node in the right side of my neck was cancerous. It was a hell of a fight, the toughest thing I have ever done or likely will do in my life, just as my chemo oncologist told me it would be. When he told me that - after two other doctor's had told me, with huge but obviously strained smiles on their faces, that I had about an 80% chance of survival - I asked him what were my chances.

The chemo doc was the serious one and I asked him about my chances because I knew the other two were bulshitting me trying to keep my hopes up and I told him so and also told him not to BS me. I explained to him that if I was to face such a tough fight with any chance of winning, I needed to know just how tough and wanted the real odds so I'd at least have an idea how hard it would be. Knowing that, I maybe would not give up hope as I would have done if I otherwise had falsely thought it was going to be a fairly easy thing to beat then got slammed by the treatments or the cancer got worse.

I told him he obviously was the more down to earth of the three docs I had seen and he swiveled around on his doctor's stool and studied my paper file and his computer for a good 5 to 10 minutes, then he swiveled back around on his stool to face me, put his hands on his knees, pouted and frowned, looked down then at my face still frowning and told me "..at best you have a 50/50 chance"! He did not say I had a 50/50 - he said at best it was 50/50. I almost fell out of my chair but I knew right then and there it was going to be tough like he said and now I would know that when I fought the fight. He also told me the only way to beat it was to go to every chemo and every radiation treatment and not to give up no matter how miserable I felt and he assured me it would be misery & agony. He was right. O went throu 7 weeks of the highest radiation treatments possible and 5 chemo sessions (there were only supposed to be tree of the most potent chemo treatment available at the time but the last two were split into 4 due to a reaction I had after the first where my heart wass badly affected).

After my last radiation treatment I saw the smiling Radiation doc; he ran his hand over my neck and said everything was excellent with that big smile on his face. I had seen him over the course of a few months, including the 7 weeks of radiation treatments and every time I saw him he was smiling a big happy grin. After he said my neck felt fine, I said to him in essence: 'Every time you have checked my neck before today, you pressed in on it, squeezed it, palpated it and felt the lumps. Today, you changed all that. Today, you lightly placed you hand on my neck and passed it over the surface with virtaully no pressure. Please, check it the way you always did before today.' Then he did what I asked and for the first time in all those months, I saw that smile quickly disappear and a look of honest and utter sadness replaced it. He had felt the lumps that I knew had not gone away and they were still very big. Then he explained that radiation worked for up to several weeks after it was given and that I I still had another remaining chemo session and told me not to give up hope. It all seemed like BS to me but I went to that last chemo session because the chemo doc also confirmed the thing about the radiation working yet for several weeks and that the chemo could still help. Well, about 4 months later, after the last chemo treatment, I had a PET Scan. The radiation doc tried to get me to come in early for it - that after he and the chemo doc had warned me not to be tempted to do so because an early PET Scan could givve a false result eeither way good or bad. I think he was anxious about my chances still even though the lumps had disappeared at least to the touch and I had pressed deep to check several times (it had been about two or three weeks after the last chemo that I no longer felt them there).

Back to the Pet Scan, the scan report contained what became for me the best word I have ever heard in the English language and it was the Chemo doc, the one who was honest with me (he was also the head man in Head & Neck cancer at MSKCC's Rockville Center, NY branch) who told me and my wife how tough a battle it would be. My wife had her boss - a dentist - tell her that the type of cancer I had was the easiest in the world to cure and was nothing to worry about. My wife always, at least somewhat, believed I was being extremely dramatic when I told her how much I was suffering from the treatments & the cancer and that one of the docs had told me my odds were that poor - she was in for a huge surprise. What the chemo doc read to me was the word RESOLVED! I immediately asked if it meant what I thought it did - that the cancer was completely gone and not merely in remission. He confirmed it.

To explain how I felt other than to say ecstatic would be pointless - you have got to hear it yourself in that same circumstance. I thanked him, thanked my wife, and told them I was going to go, right then, to thank the other docs, the radiation techs, the nurses who gave me chemo and otherwise took care of me, the recptionists and also the old geezer who was agreeter at the front door, my family and other supporters and whomever else I could think of thanking. He then told me I had missed one person to thank, he said it was the most important one of all. I was flummoxed and told him I could not think of anyone else and he said "you have to thank yourself". He went on to remind me that he had told me it would be the toughest battle of my life and would be misery & agony and I think reminded me of my chances of survival having been 50/50 at best (and ow that I think of it, I am none too sure I had told my wife about my chances although I maybe I did but I am certain I never told my children until it was all over). I saw my wife's jaw as it dropped and her chin hung low as she heard what the doc said with utter astonishment. I guess she had really believed her asshole opinionated (on everything) boss when told it would was the easiest cancer to beat.

The doc went on to say that most people in my situation would not have made it because they would have given up and stopped coming to treatments and he assured me that he was speaking from experience of many people who just had given up. Heck, I never suspected it was that bad even after knowing the odds but I can attest that the treatments were, as they say, worse than the disease. Then again, they worked so in that regard they were the best thing in the world no matter how terrible they were to withstand. Well maybe not the best thing but tied for best- the doc being honest with me and mentally preparing me for the fight, that and the support I received from family, friends, co-workers and other medical professionals they were just as important and good - even the old geezer who greeted me almost every day I went there and who spike to me briefly about how I was doing and such when we saw one another. Of course there was also that word - RESOLVED - which became the best thing in the world for me after the treatments!

Don't get me wrong, even though I wrote a lot about my experience, this post is not about me, it is for you. I am not bragging; although, I suppose I could but why bother doing what is pointless. My definitely words are for you and others who may have stage 4 cancer. They have a point, that being I am telling you this to let you know - even stage 4 cancer can be beat but it likely will be one hell of a fight - maybe the toughest thing in your life - and as far as that goes you have to depend on yourself to be a fighter. The only way you can do it is by not giving up. Fight hard, stay in the fight as long as possible - which may seem impossible several times before it is over - but you need to keep fighting regardless to come out a winner by kicking cancer's ass.

 

[Mowingmaniac 24/7]

Flyingswords,

Hang in there.

We who've had cancer very often continue to live long lives.

How do I know?

I had malignant melanoma cured over 40 years ago.

Stray strong!!

 

[Aus_Schwaben]

You will beat it. They (prayer and the doctors) are doing miracles today. My lady friend was diagnosed with cancer in multiple areas in May. Dr Muallah at Texas Oncology get her started and her cancer has been reduced over 50%.

Good luck.

 

[Darkpriest667]

Flying, praying for you, but know this, our medical technology is so good these days that even a stage 3 and stage 4 diagnosis is not a death sentence. Maintain your positive attitude, do what the medical staff tell you to do, and make sure you are keeping in touch with the Lord regularly. Please keep us updated. I live in Jarrell if you ever need someone to BS with reach out to me. I'll make the drive.

 

[toddnjoyce]

1. F cancer with a giant unlubed donkey schlong. You can beat this.

2. Turn the ex off. One written/text/email response telling her you don’t want any further contact or communication with her ever, that you find her behavior to be harassment, and that any further attempts will be reported to law enforcement. Then, if she responds in any way, turn on the restraining order. You don’t need this shit in your life.

3. Kick cancer in the balls.

4. Get some trigger therapy in.

 

[gdr_11]

So many of us will be praying for you, not only for your healing and victory over the cancer but for the peace of God to fill your heart and give you the inner strength you need.

 

[AZ Refugee]

Good luck and Godspeed!

 

[kbaxter60]

I am sorry to hear this news. My family will pray for your wellness

Sent from my SM-N986U using Tapatalk

As will ours.
I suggest you cut all ties with the wife. That is negative energy you don't need right now.

 

[jrbfishn]

That sucks.
Hoping for the best for you.

Sent by an idjit coffeeholic from my SM-G892A using Tapatalk

 

[GoPappy]

Just said a prayer for you. Your estranged wife sounds like a doozy.

 

[GPtwins]

Sorry to hear of the cancer and the wife. Sending prayers up for both.


Sent from Mordor using an iPhone.

 

[Ioannes]

Sorry to hear of this. Another guy praying for you. God is good all the time. Isaiah 41:10.

Sent from my SM-G970U using Tapatalk

 

[TX OMFS]

My wife had her boss - a dentist - tell her that the type of cancer I had was the easiest in the world to cure and was nothing to worry about.

I'm sorry he said that. What a dumbass.

 

[TX OMFS]

@Flyingswords, did you have testicular cancer originally? Have you a full body PET or CT since this new mass was found?

 

[Charlie]

My prayers are with you, sir!

 

[Axxe55]

We had the cancer scare about three years ago when my wife was diagnosed with colon cancer. For about two years prior to being diagnosed, her health went down and she was having lots of difficulty. At first, they found a mass/growth about the size of a softball in her colon. The mass had to be removed, and they did a biopsy, but it was about two weeks before we got the results, but surgery was already scheduled in Dallas at Baylor, Scott & White a month later. Once we got the results, honestly, it felt like the world dropped on us. I'll be honest, the day we got that news, later that day, I was in the woods working, and I dropped to my knees balling like a baby. Not once did I ever let my wife see me cry, or be anything other than positive, because, I knew that a negative attitude would be of no help for her. I had to be strong, for her.

We never made that month for her scheduled surgery. About a week later, her health deteriorated really bad. Over the course of three days we went to the local ER seven times. Finally on a Tuesday evening visit, finally one doctor had the smarts to contact her doctor in Dallas. She was rushed to Dallas for emergency surgery to remove the mass that was very close to rupturing, and if it had, she would have died much quicker than the cancer would have.

She had to endure chemo for about six months, and has to be checked out on a much regular basis. She's cancer free right now, but, we live with it hanging there. Yeah, it's scary, but as long as it's found in time, she has a great chance of beating it again.

We had lots of support from family and friends and lots of prayers from lots of people. It was very difficult for me, putting on brave face all the time, just so she would stay positive through all she had to endure. And I had to lean on some close friends for emotional support, because I came very close to losing my sanity. One of my best friends, who is also a member here, we talked at least four or five times a week. Thanks to him, I kept my head up and was able to stay strong.

There isn't a day that goes by, that I don't let her know how much I love her and how much she means to me, and not a day I don't thank God for pulling her through this, or thank him for really great friends and our family.

 

[Hoji]

Prayers sent.

 

[Charlie]

Prayers for both of you!