Funny Picture - Video Thread III

[orbitup]

 

[digger]

 

[orbitup]

 

[Vaquero]

View attachment 162568

Well, ok then.

 

[nlam01]

Men Are Just Happier People!

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress - $5,000. Tux rental - $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes - one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache... You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier!

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, outcome the pocket calculators.

MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.


A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337 A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE

· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

You must be divorced

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[Vaquero]

You must be divorced

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Or married for over 25 years.

 

[digger]

Or married for over 25 years.

33 years and that is not "original" just descriptive IMO

 

[nlam01]

Or married for over 25 years.

What happens after 25 years?

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[digger]

 

[Vaquero]

What happens after 25 years?

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The kids move out and her sense of humor comes back.

 

[TxStetson]

The kids move out and her sense of humor comes back.

Does it?

 

[oldag]

Well, ok then.

What, you've never seen the bed of a pickup?

 

[nlam01]

The kids move out and her sense of humor comes back.

Guess I'm glad I won't be having any of my own then

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[Texasgordo]

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[Shotgun Jeremy]

.

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[Texasgordo]

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[Jarine88]

Those combat boots we had in Boot Camp were pretty heavy.

Boots will make it hard to swim. But they're not going to pull you straight to the bottom. If you hunt waterfowl or fish and use waders many people think if you fall in and the waders fill up they take you straight to the bottom. Again not true. Waders full of water make it DAMN hard to walk out of the water. Neoprene waders don't have as much problem as the old rubber waders as the neoprene fit closer to the body.

The old wives tale is that falling in the water with waders or rubber boots on will cause you to sink. It's simply not true. Yeah it makes it harder to swim, only an idiot couldn't see that. I managed as WSQ II which meant we had to swim 150 yards with Cammies and combat boots on. It damn near killed me. But it's doable.

https://www.tecom.marines.mil/News/...ticle/528476/swim-qual-changes-now-in-effect/

You can't graduate USMC Boot Camp if you can't show a basic level of water survival that includes boots and utilities.

Hey Brother,

I‘ve been through the training, too, but from my post-Corps experience, I know that waders can kill. We had a biologist with the Nation Wetlands Research Center drown while studying beavers in Caddo Lake. He was crossing an area in chest waders that was deeper than he thought. His waders filled with water and took him down.

 

[ZX9RCAM]

I was walking from the parking lot to the road wearing rain boots.
The water in the parking lot was maybe 7-8 inches deep. I went from that to chest deep moving flood water once I hit the grass. It carried me until I ran in to something under water that stopped me.

 

[TX OMFS]

Look, funny pics!

 

[Big Green]