My Wife Is An Heiress

[Eastexasrick]

I was the executor for my FiL's estate and don't recommend the experience to anyone. It took just over 2 years to close out everything and that was with a lawyer assisting with the debit collectors (credit cards, truck, etc). Doing the paperwork with the state to get access to the accounts, being able to sign paperwork in the estates name, etc can be very stressful.

It's true that the debt normally does not pass along that's not always true. For example, if you are/were the partner/spouse and your name is on the CC, loan paperwork, etc. - well, you are probably going to be held liable.

Using a lawyer to negotiate down the debt payoff is worthwhile. As soon as the credit holders find out about the passing they go into full intimidation & predator mode - they will call, mail and generally harass you (the executor is the POC and their contact info is shared) saying that the bill has to be paid now or face legal action, yada yada. They are doing this so they don't have to settle for a lower amount. What they don't want you to know is that credit cards are unsecured debt - this means they are the last ones to get paid back (if at all). That's why they are the most aggressive. This is where a lawyer comes in - let them deal with the collectors and act as an intermediary. The funeral and other arrangements are stressful enough without having to deal with phone calls and letters.

Dealing with Social Security Administration, the VA, DFAS, IRS, County Tax office, etc... are a headache on their own. Expect them to take a looong time to respond to you for any questions or clarifications or payments. I had to write our representatives to get them to push the IRS and the VA into responding.

Keep track of assets sold at auction or garage sales or however and how much you get for them. This can be used against the debt collectors when negotiating down the payment.

Any bills paid (cleanup, repairs, etc) can be used on the final taxes - ONLY use estate money for this (if there is any). The executor will probably need to open an estate account and get a tax ID, but my suggestion is to let a professional tax person deal with the IRS filings.

If anything goes to repossession, then the estate will be held liable for the difference between what the item sells for at auction and how much is left on the loan. Example: camper is taken and sold at auction for $10k, but the amount owed is $15k, then the estate still owes $5k.

Hopefully my experience was the exception and others have it easier...

Pretty much what I went through with the MiL and FiL they were divorced for years so I got a double dose. MIL was intestate, FIL probate. Intestate required informing every potential heir and many more hoops.

 

[Spcwolf]

The answer is!

Drugs.

 

[dsgrey]

I was the executor for my FiL's estate and don't recommend the experience to anyone. It took just over 2 years to close out everything and that was with a lawyer assisting with the debit collectors (credit cards, truck, etc). Doing the paperwork with the state to get access to the accounts, being able to sign paperwork in the estates name, etc can be very stressful.

It's true that the debt normally does not pass along that's not always true. For example, if you are/were the partner/spouse and your name is on the CC, loan paperwork, etc. - well, you are probably going to be held liable.

Using a lawyer to negotiate down the debt payoff is worthwhile. As soon as the credit holders find out about the passing they go into full intimidation & predator mode - they will call, mail and generally harass you (the executor is the POC and their contact info is shared) saying that the bill has to be paid now or face legal action, yada yada. They are doing this so they don't have to settle for a lower amount. What they don't want you to know is that credit cards are unsecured debt - this means they are the last ones to get paid back (if at all). That's why they are the most aggressive. This is where a lawyer comes in - let them deal with the collectors and act as an intermediary. The funeral and other arrangements are stressful enough without having to deal with phone calls and letters.

Dealing with Social Security Administration, the VA, DFAS, IRS, County Tax office, etc... are a headache on their own. Expect them to take a looong time to respond to you for any questions or clarifications or payments. I had to write our representatives to get them to push the IRS and the VA into responding.

Keep track of assets sold at auction or garage sales or however and how much you get for them. This can be used against the debt collectors when negotiating down the payment.

Any bills paid (cleanup, repairs, etc) can be used on the final taxes - ONLY use estate money for this (if there is any). The executor will probably need to open an estate account and get a tax ID, but my suggestion is to let a professional tax person deal with the IRS filings.

If anything goes to repossession, then the estate will be held liable for the difference between what the item sells for at auction and how much is left on the loan. Example: camper is taken and sold at auction for $10k, but the amount owed is $15k, then the estate still owes $5k.

Hopefully my experience was the exception and others have it easier...

The opposite end of the spectrum, when my mother passed she had a paid off house, paid off car and whatever was in her bank account. That was in September, the house/car were sold as soon as legally possible (sold within a week of listing) and cash dispersed to the heirs in April. So 6 months in a no debt and no cleanup situation.

 

[Brains]

Sorry to hear of the passing of a friend.

Wow, quite the project to clean up. I can't figure out what all that stuff covering all the surfaces could even be.

 

[deemus]

Pretty sure the sink backed up.

 

[benenglish]

If he didn't have much money in his bank account, you might not be able to afford a cleaning service. Though in some small towns you might have someone who would do it cheap.

Not casting aspersions on people I don't know, but, small hoarder cleaning services sometimes go into the business just to steal whatever they find that's valuable. Imagine that there's one nice diamond ring in a drawer somewhere and you hand the house over to a cleaning crew. That ring may go into a pocket, doubling or tripling the profit for the cleaning service.

Not knowing who to trust is the biggest reason, IMO, that people try to do it themselves.

Sometimes it's worth it; sometimes it isn't.

I'm not sure I could bring myself to trust even the big, national franchises who do this work, like Steri-Clean. All it takes is one bad employee.

 

[Vaquero]

Sometimes the credit bill exceeds the real estate value.

 

[ZX9RCAM]

After my brother passed 3 years ago, I did about 2 days, with help from daughter and SIL packing up what I wanted.
Then the realtor recommended a woman to sell everything else off.
She took about 3 weeks pricing and setting everything up, and had a 3 day sale.
She got a percentage, and sent me a check.

The house sold in less than 2 weeks.

 

[Geezer]

My SIL and wife have a meeting with a lawyer tomorrow. Since my wife is incapacitated with a broke ankle, I have been asked to sit in for her.

There is a car loan with some trade ins that weren't paid off. There is a huge car loan on a $23K car. Payoff is about $40K.

One option I'm going to ask about is what happens if SIL and my wife both decline to accept anything and just walk away from it. If it can be done, this will be the best route to take.

 

[striker55]

When my mom and dad sold their house to move into an apartment they had to downsize. Hired someone to sell everything then got a commission. He was upset because he thought he was selling a nice riding mower which my dad sold to my uncle.

 

[MountainGirl]

My SIL and wife have a meeting with a lawyer tomorrow. Since my wife is incapacitated with a broke ankle, I have been asked to sit in for her.

There is a car loan with some trade ins that weren't paid off. There is a huge car loan on a $23K car. Payoff is about $40K.

One option I'm going to ask about is what happens if SIL and my wife both decline to accept anything and just walk away from it. If it can be done, this will be the best route to take.

Unknown re Texas probate statutes, but in Nebraska the named executor can decline appointment without affecting any inheritance...and if the Will does not have an "In the event the (listed beneficiaries) predecease me.." clause any net goes to the state's general fund. Might want to ask the lawyer if that'd be the case here.

 

[robertc1024]

Sometimes the credit bill exceeds the real estate value.

I know a guy who inherited an old gas station. Of course the ground was polluted - cost him 10's of thousands to get it cleaned up.

 

[toddnjoyce]

My SIL and wife have a meeting with a lawyer tomorrow. Since my wife is incapacitated with a broke ankle, I have been asked to sit in for her.

There is a car loan with some trade ins that weren't paid off. There is a huge car loan on a $23K car. Payoff is about $40K.

One option I'm going to ask about is what happens if SIL and my wife both decline to accept anything and just walk away from it. If it can be done, this will be the best route to take.

Executor can throw the keys back to the dealer and let him line up against the estate. Unless there’s a cosigner, that debt’s dead, too.

 

[Armybrat]

Not casting aspersions on people I don't know, but, small hoarder cleaning services sometimes go into the business just to steal whatever they find that's valuable. Imagine that there's one nice diamond ring in a drawer somewhere and you hand the house over to a cleaning crew. That ring may go into a pocket, doubling or tripling the profit for the cleaning service.

Not knowing who to trust is the biggest reason, IMO, that people try to do it themselves.

Sometimes it's worth it; sometimes it isn't.

I'm not sure I could bring myself to trust even the big, national franchises who do this work, like Steri-Clean. All it takes is one bad employee.

After my FIL passed away alone in his Dallas home 40 years ago, his house was fairly orderly except his bed, which was a terrible mess.
His two brothers & a niece did most of the cleaning out after asking permission from my wife (his sole heir), which was a big relief to us.
He & my MIL had been divorced since 1949 and his second wife had died a few months before.
My wife had not been close with him over the decades, just a short visit every year or two. He was not invited to our wedding (I stayed out of that business), as my wife’s mom & family were still not willing to accept him after their contentious divorce18 years prior.

To my surprise, I was named his executor - but luckily his business lawyer guided me through the process. Everything was above board - my wife only claimed a nice silver plate water pitcher and a chest of drawers from his house, plus his late wife’s mink stole. odd choice, because my wife never wore it and it has just hung in a guest room closet all these years.
All the remaining contents went to his brothers & niece (who were good people).
We gave his 10 year old Cadillac El Dorado to a brother who requested it. We had no use for it.

All the unwanted furniture & clothing went to Goodwill, but before it was picked up we did a thorough search for a nice diamond ring that we knew had belonged to his deceased wife.
At the last minute as the Goodwill people were loading the leftover things up, I happened to look in a covered recessed corner of a large radio/stereo console and pulled out a small envelope that contained the missing ring.

Of course my wife took that home with us, and I later had the nice 2.5 carat solitaire put in a new custom mount for her to wear. It was appraised at $12,000 back then, and is still worn by my wife to this day.

Unfortunately for me, the 1911 .45 my FIL had carried during WW2 in Italy was long gone…stolen by his maid service according to what his brother, a retired Air Force Chaplain said.

We sold the house to a neighbor and used part of the proceeds to pay all his debts fo complete the probate process.

 

[striker55]

My uncle, now deceased, had remarried after his long time wife (my aunt) died. He had 5 children, didn't provide much for them growing up. He took care of himself mostly, like having a boat, giving himself a trip to Norway, having nice things he liked. Anyway his will had his possessions to be distributed to his kids upon his death. Now he meets a woman through the Internet, she is a gambler, likes the casinos. They get married shortly after meeting her. Will gets changed even to the point of not having his children at his funeral. What a dirty deal, never really liked him myself.

 

[leVieux]

<>

Years ago, when I was a Family Doc, I made housecalls. Saw some astounding stuff in people’s homes.

<>

 

[Lonesome Dove]

My uncle, now deceased, had remarried after his long time wife (my aunt) died. He had 5 children, didn't provide much for them growing up. He took care of himself mostly, like having a boat, giving himself a trip to Norway, having nice things he liked. Anyway his will had his possessions to be distributed to his kids upon his death. Now he meets a woman through the Internet, she is a gambler, likes the casinos. They get married shortly after meeting her. Will gets changed even to the point of not having his children at his funeral. What a dirty deal, never really liked him myself.

Good reason to give your stuff away while you're here to do so.
And it just may extend you're time on earth knowing you've done some nice.

 

[Geezer]

SIL and wife are walking away.

 

[Eli]

SIL and wife are walking away.

Sounded like one of those situations, unfortunately. Much better than getting stuck for years dealing with an insolvent estate you can't escape, like I did!

Eli

 

[dsgrey]

My uncle, now deceased, had remarried after his long time wife (my aunt) died. He had 5 children, didn't provide much for them growing up. He took care of himself mostly, like having a boat, giving himself a trip to Norway, having nice things he liked. Anyway his will had his possessions to be distributed to his kids upon his death. Now he meets a woman through the Internet, she is a gambler, likes the casinos. They get married shortly after meeting her. Will gets changed even to the point of not having his children at his funeral. What a dirty deal, never really liked him myself.

My mom had some issues and wrote her only kids out of her will (me & my brother). Will stated her grandchildren would receive everything. Brother and I weren't even allowed to enter her home. The odd part, she had a stroke and was put on life support and one grandchild had a copy of her will with no medical directive so we knew we were written out of the will. The decision to leave her on life support or take her off then fell to her next of kin - brother and I.