Neighbor passed away - drama ensues

[mitchntx]

He was a 20 year Navy vet, a great father and a heckuva nice guy.
we've been neighbors for 26 years.

He leaves behind a wife of 44 years and 4 children.
His youngest and my oldest were high school classmates.

For the last week or so, there has been a constant battle over the "stuff" and who has to take care of mom.
Mom has the onset of dementia.

Its sad when families implode ...

 

[kyletxria1911a1]

Greed and such

 

[Flewda]

sucks all around. I can't imagine arguing with siblings about who has to take care of mom. *Sigh* Sorry to hear that, man.

 

[Moonpie]

Happened to our family too.
Elderly aunt passed. Had "relatives" that hadn't been heard from in 30yrs show up to steal her belongings.
Actually watched them squabble over a lousy dinette set. Looked like jackals fighting over a dead carcass.

 

[Vaquero]

Truly sad. A prayer for the widow.

 

[TX69]

Greed and such

Yep. I've watched my mothers side of the family come to blows SEVERAL TIMES each time one of them passes. First when their mother (my grandmother) passed they descended on her home, belongings anything and everything they could get their hands on. Luckily the oldest sibling had a clear cut will but when the only son died he had cut up his estate unevenly and they all went at it again but worse. Now the family is split and most don't talk or see each other anymore.

My father has a clear cut will although not a good one but my mother had not outlined hers. I have talked with her several times begging her to make it loud and clear how things are split up (if at all) so that there is no fighting or problems.

Family sucks

 

[kyletxria1911a1]

Yep. I've watched my mothers side of the family come to blows SEVERAL TIMES each time one of them passes. First when their mother (my grandmother) passed they descended on her home, belongings anything and everything they could get their hands on. Luckily the oldest sibling had a clear cut will but when the only son died he had cut up his estate unevenly and they all went at it again but worse. Now the family is split and most don't talk or see each other anymore.

My father has a clear cut will although not a good one but my mother had not outlined hers. I have talked with her several times begging her to make it loud and clear how things are split up (if at all) so that there is no fighting or problems.

Family sucks

yep i lost a brother a while back, just two of us left. My dad had about 200 k in tools, i am not as handy as my brother, if he does pass, he get to pick and choose what he wants.
The only thing I want of my dad's are his firearms and his wedding ring.
And we have already cleared that up

 

[Glockster69]

Sorry you lost a friend Mitch.


R.I.P., Sir.

 

[jrbfishn]

I concur, my condolences sir.

 

[ROGER4314]

Been told that not having any family will be painful some day. So far, it has been a major blessing! When I hear things like those shared in this thread, you can DOUBLE the blessings!

Flash

 

[Blind Sniper]

I'm suddenly thankful that most of my extended family wants nothing to do with my immediate family.... Especially because most of the extended are mentally disturbed.

 

[jrbfishn]

When Dad passed, I got his Kbar and a picture of him in uniform. All I wanted.
When Mom passed it was a different story. Even though I wasnot the oldest, I pointed out how disapointed she would be with them and why, things got better real quick. We all got along much better after that. Especially since I really only wanted what they thought was worthless. We still get along good for the most part. Thankfully.
Shame when greed can make a family fall apart.
Growing up an army brat and not having an extended family around, I can tell you this for sure. The greatest gift someone can leave you with, is family. Not money.

 

[mitchntx]

Oldest son and youngest daughter are trying their best to do what is right and best for their mom.

The oldest daughter (and her daughter - a grand daughter) is being the real bitch.
After leaving home at 16 and being involved in the seedy side of existence, she shows up with a two year old daughter.
Abandons the two year old leaving her with her parents, my neighbors. Neighbors adopt their grand daughter.

Fast forward 25 years. Out of the blue, the mom shows up ... oddly just after my neighbor is diagnosed with cancer.
He fights it for over 5 years ... having multiple surgeries, thrice weekly dialysis, a stroke ... all the while, daughter is the prodigal daughter.

She's bat-shit crazy along with here pink-haired daughter ...

I told the oldest son "thank you" when they put the house on the market. I would rather roll the dice for the unknown neighbor.
Cause with her, I know what a cluster it would be.

 

[Mexican_Hippie]

The best thing they can leave you is the memories.

 

[vmax]

sorry about your friend Mitch.

I had an older neighbor that I really liked, died a few years back.
His daughter caught me coming out of the restroom at the funeral and tried to sell me his house

Family from Kansas who I had rarely seen made the trip down and took everything that wasn't nailed down.
I watched in awe as they made trip after trip carrying out house plants, lamps and knickknacks

you can always spot them at the funeral. Wearing a white package shirt they just bought from Walmart that morning, still with the creases in it from the package, jeans, dirty boots and hair slicked back with dipitty doo. During the service, they stare at their watch constantly, wondering what the church grandpa went to will have for them for a free lunch.

 

[kyletxria1911a1]

sorry about your friend Mitch.

I had an older neighbor that I really liked, died a few years back.
His daughter caught me coming out of the restroom at the funeral and tried to sell me his house

Family from Kansas who I had rarely seen made the trip down and took everything that wasn't nailed down.
I watched in awe as they made trip after trip carrying out house plants, lamps and knickknacks

you can always spot them at the funeral. Wearing a white package shirt they just bought from Walmart that morning, still with the creases in it from the package, jeans, dirty boots and hair slicked back with dipitty doo. During the service, they stare at their watch constantly, wondering what the church grandpa went to will have for them for a free lunch.

vultures one and all. But GOD repays money like that slips through your hands, like water.

 

[vmax]

vultures one and all. But GOD repays money like that slips through your hands, like water.

yes sir.

 

[TwinGlocks]

A family friend passed away 20 or so years ago and I witnessed the same fight over the man's possessions. Sad.

 

[mitchntx]

A family friend passed away 20 or so years ago and I witnessed the same fight over the man's possessions. Sad.

When my dad passed away, the line of folks who showed up explaining to me that he had promised certain things was unbelievable.
I made a few folks pretty mad that day.

On the other end of that spectrum, my brother, 12 years older than me, didn't want to fool with anything and let people have whatever they wanted.
This included my dad's assets ...
I made him mad that day as well.

The integrity of people amaze me ... I must really be naive thinking that people have a soul and want to do the right thing.

 

[Governors20]

I just had a talk with my mom and dad this weekend about his will since they were in town, and they brought it up. I had a few suggestions and a few things I didn't want him to do (like gift money to the grand kids) My dad is a financial planner, so he has things locked up pretty tight. My biggest problem is keeping my dad from controlling assets from his grave.