Pronstar’s “living with the in-laws” adventures

[TexasRedneck]

Did the lawyer thing last year.
Still need to have a "sit down" with the kids and fine tune some real estate stuff.
Half of a farm is great. But which half might be an issue.
Hell. They might just sell and pocket the cash.
Not my problem, but, I'd like to know.

Yup - have the discussion early. You might find one has ZERO interest, but it's the life's dream of the other. Maybe give 99% of it to the interested one, and a small "homestead" piece to the other. Make up for it with other parts of the estate. A good friend of mine did that - the daughter had zero interest in the ranch, but wanted the house badly. Through open discussion, she was willing to forego the rest of the property if she could have the house and 3 acres. Son was perfectly fine with that - the house sat alongside the road, and he preferred to live further into the property. If anything, their relationship grew stronger because he appreciated her unselfish willingness to keep the ranch intact.

 

[glenbo]

deemus said, "Its amazing how the death of a family member can bring out the worst in people." True, but it's also amazing how the love of money that hasn't been worked for will bring out the worst. Free money is a big draw.

 

[PinnedandRecessed]

My wife's father unexpectedly passed from a heart attack last month. It had previously been made clear that my wife would be the executor. He always promised her that he'd make a will and keep documentation for accounts etc. It never happened (the story of his life). It has been hell on my wife. Adding to the chaos, her father's last "girlfriend" emptied all his accounts as fast as she could after learning of his death leaving nothing to cover his final expenses. It's all on my wife and I because the rest of her family can not help financially. I may be venting a bit. Moral to the story is I hope ya'll take care of your affairs in advance and don't place that added stress on your loved ones when they are dealing with your loss. Lastly (bonus tip), definitely don't leave devious whores with access to your accounts.

 

[candcallen]

My wife's father unexpectedly passed from a heart attack last month. It had previously been made clear that my wife would be the executor. He always promised her that he'd make a will and keep documentation for accounts etc. It never happened (the story of his life). It has been hell on my wife. Adding to the chaos, her father's last "girlfriend" emptied all his accounts as fast as she could after learning of his death leaving nothing to cover his final expenses. It's all on my wife and I because the rest of her family can not help financially. I may be venting a bit. Moral to the story is I hope ya'll take care of your affairs in advance and don't place that added stress on your loved ones when they are dealing with your loss. Lastly (bonus tip), definitely don't leave devious whores with access to your accounts.

Karma. The equalizer.

When my wifes Grandma died her daughter number one was executor. She said phuck it and screwed the other 2 daughters out of everything. Emptied accounts sold assets everything. I told my mother in law either file a lawsuit now, while she is ignoring the will and pillaging the estate or it will be gone. She let it go.

Well daughter number one didnt get a chance to enjoy the fruits of her deceit. She died shortly after. H er r daughter promptly blew the money on shit and is now homeless. As far as I know. Greed and death ruins family but exposes character.

 

[deemus]

Karma. The equalizer.

When my wifes Grandma died her daughter number one was executor. She said phuck it and screwed the other 2 daughters out of everything. Emptied accounts sold assets everything. I told my mother in law either file a lawsuit now, while she is ignoring the will and pillaging the estate or it will be gone. She let it go.

Well daughter number one didnt get a chance to enjoy the fruits of her deceit. She died shortly after. H er r daughter promptly blew the money on shit and is now homeless. As far as I know. Greed and death ruins family but exposes character.

Its pretty crazy how uninformed / educated on that stuff people are. One lady I knew of thought that since she was executor she could do whatever she wanted. She had zero knowledge that she had to follow the terms of the will. In her case, it was 1/3 to each child after all assets were sold. She eventually complied.

Another situation I saw was that the executor (kind of an ass) thought that since the will stated "if anyone contested the will that person will get nothing" meant that if someone questioned him and what he did, he didn't have to pay that person anything. He didn't understand that a person could question whether he was actually following the terms of the will without actually questioning the will itself. He had zero knowledge of the term fiduciary duty and what it meant.

 

[Sasquatch]

Its pretty crazy how uninformed / educated on that stuff people are. One lady I knew of thought that since she was executor she could do whatever she wanted. She had zero knowledge that she had to follow the terms of the will. In her case, it was 1/3 to each child after all assets were sold. She eventually complied.

Another situation I saw was that the executor (kind of an ass) thought that since the will stated "if anyone contested the will that person will get nothing" meant that if someone questioned him and what he did, he didn't have to pay that person anything. He didn't understand that a person could question whether he was actually following the terms of the will without actually questioning the will itself. He had zero knowledge of the term fiduciary duty and what it meant.

Seems like a good reason to name your lawyer as the executor of the will.

 

[PDiddy]

When my mom remarried about 8 years after my dad passed, she and her husband kept all of their stuff separate. Mom had a couple meetings with my brother and I. Last meeting included her financial planner. Everything was in a trust. Only a car and house to sell and then the proceeds, saving/checking and investments split equally. Not difficult considering my brother and I don’t really speak and live far apart.

 

[Ausländer]

Seems like a good reason to name your lawyer as the executor of the will.

ehhh... maybe, maybe not. A lawyer can pillage an estate just in billable hours. You asked a question - there's 1hr of billable time, etc...


I'm the Executor of my FiL's estate - and yes it is a pain in the ass with all the paperwork, taxes (federal, property), house ownership/upkeep till it is sold, not knowing where important papers are, assumptions of the deceased and family (such as they aren't responsible for any outstanding debt), dealing with the VA/.mil, having accounts locked (email, banking, services, utilities, etc)... I hired a lawyer to assist me (deal with creditors) so I can keep the billable hours to a minimum. This was discussed with the surviving family members and agreed upon, although as others have mentioned, once you are verified by the State as the Executor you can do almost anything you want (including charging family for your 'billable' hours if you wanted).

With what we've learned, we are putting our assets (house, bank accounts, retirement accounts, vehicles, et al.) in a Trust that names our daughter but she will only have power when both of us have passed (we have a separate document to cover should we become incapacitated/unable to care for ourselves - which is another can of worms that can be abused). That way at least she will still have the legal right to access the banks and assume ownership of the home without worry of being forced to sell it to cover any outstanding bills (as we are dealing with now).

 

[deemus]

The trust is a great strategy. It also avoids probate. Before I marry again my stuff will be in a trust, and hers will be too. That way if one of us kicks off, my trust stays intact, and her kids take over her trust. The only complication will be the house, which will be in a third trust with details on how long the survivor gets to stay there.

 

[no2gates]

I've got a sick sense of humor, but I wonder if anyone has done a will where there's a competition for each major "prize".
Like for the house, highest score on a dueling tree gets the house. The car goes to the the person who comes closest to belching "Amazing Grace".
The bank balances go to whoever can balance a wine bottle on their forehead the longest.

 

[toddnjoyce]

…With what we've learned, we are putting our assets (house, bank accounts, retirement accounts, vehicles, et al.) in a Trust...

Trusts are great tools; many people draw up the papers but never transfer assets to the trust. Houses are the number one item not transferred into a trust…cars second.

 

[TexasRedneck]

Trusts are great tools; many people draw up the papers but never transfer assets to the trust. Houses are the number one item not transferred into a trust…cars second.

My folks were talked into doing one....house, ranches, cars, trucks - all of it. Then he sold the truck and got another one...sold the ranches and bought another....same w/house, mom's car....he hated the paperwork involved, and refused to put any new purchases back into it.

 

[deemus]

My folks were talked into doing one....house, ranches, cars, trucks - all of it. Then he sold the truck and got another one...sold the ranches and bought another....same w/house, mom's car....he hated the paperwork involved, and refused to put any new purchases back into it.

Not smart. Its a bit of work, but once the trust is set up, its pretty easy. And everything in the trust avoids probate, which can be very expensive. I've seen probate work in the tens of thousands. All avoidable. That's my goal to avoid probate. Using POD's, joint accounts and some other tools I was able to avoid probate when the wifey passed.

But nothing makes it work smoother than a living trust.

 

[toddnjoyce]

…But nothing makes it work smoother than a living trust.

Revocable or Irrevocable? Both get a fast lane thru probate however each offers different advantages, especially if estate taxes are a consideration.

 

[deemus]

For most a revocable (living) trust.

With the $11 million exemption amount most are not affected by estate taxes.

 

[pronstar]

Todays update:
MIL call my wife, says she got a cold.

My wife asked how she thinks she got it?

Not the airport, no way.

Not on the plane, don’t be ridiculous.

Maybe from the reunion, which had dozens of people from all over the country? Not a chance, no one looked sick.

The reason why she thinks she got sick:
Because her sister made her eat a pork sammich even though she wasn’t hungry LMAO

 

[PinnedandRecessed]

Because her sister made her eat a pork sammich even though she wasn’t hungry LMAO

It'd make for a better argument if she had the "swine flu". Ba dunt tshh!!

 

[no2gates]

Todays update:
MIL call my wife, says she got a cold.

My wife asked how she thinks she got it?

Not the airport, no way.

Not on the plane, don’t be ridiculous.

Maybe from the reunion, which had dozens of people from all over the country? Not a chance, no one looked sick.

The reason why she thinks she got sick:
Because her sister made her eat a pork sammich even though she wasn’t hungry LMAO

Sounds like your wife is maybe praying that she was adopted and didn't inherit any of mom's genes?

I know that's what I do all the time. I keep telling myself there's no way I am the product of my mother and fathers union.

 

[PDiddy]

My folks were talked into doing one....house, ranches, cars, trucks - all of it. Then he sold the truck and got another one...sold the ranches and bought another....same w/house, mom's car....he hated the paperwork involved, and refused to put any new purchases back into it.

That just sounds like laziness.

 

[TexasRedneck]

That just sounds like laziness.

Really? Piss off with your judgmental 'tude, dude - Dad worked well into his 70's. What he ultimately realized was that given the size of the estate, there was no real benefit in having the hassles associated with it. He sat down with all of us and explained it with his accountant present (the accountant had advised against it in the first place, but mom had gotten it in her head that they "needed" it).

Anything else you'd like to flap your lips about?