US Military VS Snake

[LilIrishTemper]

Reaction to Snakes

• Civilian: Runs away from the snake screaming.

• Paratrooper: Lands on and kills the snake.

• Armor: runs over snake, giggles, and looks for more snakes.

• Infantry: "Look, a putty cat. Come 'ere kitty....Ouch! Hey, that's not a kitty cat."

• Army Aviation: Has GPS grid to snake. Can't find snake. Back to base for crew rest and the club and some sort of drink called "The Snake."

• Ranger Officer: Plays with the snake, then eats it.

• Ranger: Assaults the snake's home and secures it for use by friendly snakes.

• MI: analyzes all available intelligence and national asset input on the reptilian situation; reports sighting of Godzilla to National Command Authority.

• JAG: Advises the snake on the rules of engagement and the law of war as it pertains to the snake and its defensive posture.

• Quartermaster: Captures snake and applies a National Stock Number (NSN) to it. Implements a Found On Installation (FOI) procedure and picks up snake on property book. Has company commander sign hand receipt for "Snake, Green, One Each," as non-expendable unit property.

• Chemical Corps: Starts to gas the little booger, but then realizes that there is an M-18, A-2 Respirator especially made for snakes, remembers the Chemical Corps Motto, "UTRWBAG" (Up Their Rear With Bugs and Gas), and conducts three experiments on it that have been strictly prohibited by the Clinton Treaty of 1999.

• Navy SEAL: Expends all ammunition, several grenades and calls for naval gunfire in a failed attempt to kill the snake. The snake bites the SEAL then retreats to safety.

• Artillery: Kills snake, but in the process kills several hundred civilians with a massive TOT with three FA BDEs in support. Mission is considered a success and all participants (cooks, mechanics, clerks) are awarded Silver Stars.

• Cav Scout: Follows the snake and gets lost in process.

• Pathfinder: Guides the snake elsewhere.

• US Fighter Pilot: Mis-identifies the snake as a Russian HIND helicopter and engages it with missiles. Crew chief paints a snake on airplane.

• AF Pararescue: Wounds the snake in first encounter, then feverishly works to save the snake's life.

• Green Beret: Makes contact with the snake, builds rapport, wins its heart and mind, then trains it to kill other snakes.

 

[robertc1216]

Thats great.

 

[ghostscout]

reaction to snakes


• cav scout: Follows the snake and gets lost in process.

not true!!

 

[San Antone RR]

not true!!

Yeah it is. Go get me a box of grid squares, Scout.

 

[Jakashh]

Is the navy seals one a sick reference to operation red wing/s? Or am I ignorant of something lol.

 

[LilIrishTemper]

Yeah it is. Go get me a box of grid squares, Scout.

That and go dont forget to ask the 1SG about getting some Prick E8's for the singars.

 

[robin303]

 

[Clockwork]

• US Fighter Pilot: Mis-identifies the snake as a Russian HIND helicopter and engages it with missiles. Crew chief paints a snake on airplane.

Absolutely true.

 

[San Antone RR]

How about getting some of this?

 

[robertc1216]

Yeah it is. Go get me a box of grid squares, Scout.

Grab me some chem light batteries while your at it.

 

[ghostscout]

Hardy har har har....POG's trying to hate on scouts, now thats funny

 

[winchster]

How's that go? If you ain't Cav...

 

[ghostscout]

how's that go? If you ain't cav...

you aint shittttttt!!!!!!!!!

 

[San Antone RR]

This was my favorite unit patch to wear in all my time in the military.

 

[LilIrishTemper]

How's that go? If you ain't Cav...

you aint shittttttt!!!!!!!!!

 

[lalonguecarabine]

While you're out fetching stuff, I'm gonna also need a roll of gunline and see if you can get the bosun to get you the keys to the stearn-gate.
(USMC 1990-1998)

 

[LilIrishTemper]

My favorite was sending the new guys to find a 81mm mortar blank adapter.

 

[crabbys44]

How about sending the FNG to get 50 yards of flight line...............................

and he comes back with 50 yards of expeditious flight line that he reconned on the other side of the base and also stole the forklift he picked it up with?

or the FNG who was told "to get some prop wash and don't come back until you have some." He was gone for 2 weeks, listed as UA, and returned with a can of "prop wash" he found at a C-130 unit over 200 miles away!

BTW: How about the Marine that just kills the snake for lunch and looks for its family for dinner?

 

[Acera]

I remember the 1SG sending a brand new Lt off for train tickets when we were rail-heading for a Hohenfels trip. He got all the way to Regimental HQ before he learned his lesson.

Can of squelch anyone???

Check for soft spots on bottom armor with a hammer and a piece of chalk??

Blank firing adapter for the 25mm Bushmaster canon on the Bradley??

They were all good.

 

[jarhead069]

Mine was sending a guy for a sling for a 155. He disappeared for a week and returned with said sling ... and the 155. Had another that really brought back 100' of flight line.

The marine looks at the snake, yells "REAL FOOD" and eats him like a slim Jim.