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You know you are in texas in august when. . . .

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  • XDMAR

    Active Member
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    Aug 15, 2008
    416
    11
    Clear Lake
    YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN TEXAS IN AUGUST WHEN. . . .

    The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

    The trees are whistling for the dogs.

    The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

    Hot water now comes out of both taps.

    You can make sun tea instantly.

    You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron!

    The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.

    You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.

    You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

    You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

    You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

    Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and
    end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?!"

    You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

    The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out
    and add butter, salt and pepper.

    Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from
    laying boiled eggs.

    The cows are giving evaporated milk. Ah, what a place to call home.

    God Bless Our State of TEXAS !!
    Capitol Armory ad
     

    TXARGUY

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    May 31, 2012
    7,977
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    Wildcat Thicket, Texas
    The hotdogs at Cowboy Stadium are actually hot.
    Lawyers kill themselves because they know it's cooler in Hell (sorry Tejano Scott, I couldn't help it).
    The politicians take their hands out of your pockets to fan themselves.
     
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    Jan 5, 2012
    18,591
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    HK
    LOL....here's a few ways Ive heard it described,

    It's hotter then a stolen tamale....

    It's hotter then a swig of boiling whiskey....

    Texas heat is like a sore pecker....you can't beat it......
     

    TXARGUY

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    May 31, 2012
    7,977
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    Wildcat Thicket, Texas
    Jehovah's Witnesses start telemarketing

    You're sweating like a poodle at Michael Vick's house

    You see someone driving with oven mitts on and think it's a clever idea.

    Everyone on Facebook feels compelled to post pics of their car's dash thermometer.
     

    RetArmySgt

    Glad to be back.
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    2   0   0
    Aug 14, 2009
    4,705
    31
    College Station
    177 degrees.jpg
     
    Rating - 0%
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    Jan 5, 2012
    18,591
    96
    HK
    Whats neat is that you see kids playing in the heat like nothing in Texas. Bare monkey bars and no shade. They have a heat wave in NY, they close the schools.

    I have to wear a coat when it's 65degrees. Thats freezing to me. And I never wear a felt hat in the winter cause it just doesn't get that cold around here.

    Now West Texas.....them boys know COLD.

    My dad told me as a boy how to hunt bullfrogs in north Texas.

    "You hide by a stock pond. Just as a Blue northern hits and the pond freeze's, You jump up and yell. Then you just go around and cut the legs off, sticking out the frozen pond."

    I really believed that story. Like till I was 13.
     

    kyletxria1911a1

    TGT Addict
    Emeritus - "Texas Proud"
    Rating - 100%
    2   0   0
    May 22, 2010
    22,036
    96
    kyletx
    ^^^^^ and sue black marble man im black i know what it means to retain heat
    Ya know ya in texas when you store your gun in the car and worry about the ammo going off
     
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