Mind your own business. Your children are old enough to understand that your ex has a life and has moved on. It doesn't make her a slut . . . unless she is.
You are correct, I can ask and she has the right to say no, that doesn’t mean I can’t find out on my own.
And if the kids weren’t involved I’m not concerned w her dating life.
And a check was done her first b/f w her consent. They broke up on their own w no intervention from me
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Actually she decided for “us” when she moved out. I even tried reconciling after that and after her first b/f, but at some point I had to move on as well.
The gist of my comment stands, though. It's water under the bridge - and if you aren't careful, you'll do real damage to your OWN self AND to your relationship with your kids. PLEASE hear what I say (and many others here have) - you aren't the first, and unfortunately won't be the last. But you need to take some deep breaths and take SEVERAL steps back.
If your kids find out you are meddling in her affairs before they see a problem, and more importantly before the bring it to your attention, you will then become a meddling, resentfull and untrusting person. Not something you want from your kids or to teach them to be.The gist of my comment stands, though. It's water under the bridge - and if you aren't careful, you'll do real damage to your OWN self AND to your relationship with your kids. PLEASE hear what I say (and many others here have) - you aren't the first, and unfortunately won't be the last. But you need to take some deep breaths and take SEVERAL steps back.
Thats an insanely bad idea. The odds of you ending up in jail / maybe dead and with a TRO (well not if you are dead) against you are high if you do something like that.Lol I just talked w a friend of mine who said I should go intro myself to this fella in a friendly manor and to give him my contact info, JIC there’s an emergency
W a gun on my hip, open carrying lol
Told him that was a bit over the top
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TLDR: The best thing you can do for your kids is be an awesome dad. The kids will look to you for guidance if the mom is out acting like a child instead of helping you raise them
Here's my internet opinion:
She has the right to date dooshbags, and a right to privacy. She has the right to make poor parenting decisions that aren't breaking laws.
Your rights as a parent can't trample her rights.
I do not think the courts will look kindly upon an ex who hires investigators to peer into the personal life of the other. She could paint you as a psycho...who approached her dooshy BF with a gun on his hip (if you heed some advise in this thread).
If the tables were turned, I wouldn't be happy if my ex hired investigators to look into the women of questionable morals that I'd be dating.
The only way you can eliminate her bad parenting decisions, is to get total custody.
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Then it's a lot less complicated. You're responsible for the safety of your kids and if you don't approve of the people your ex hangs around then no sleep overs at mom's.I was given (by her) custodialship of the kids and she pays me child support
Shit... just read this. She has mandatory visitation? If so, there's not much you can do. Just teach your kids to keep their heads on a swivel and to call you if they ever need any little thing.We split the kids 50/50 and I’m the custodial parent.
Then it's a lot less complicated. You're responsible for the safety of your kids and if you don't approve of the people your ex hangs around then no sleep overs at mom's.
Shit... just read this. She has mandatory visitation? If so, there's not much you can do. Just teach your kids to keep their heads on a swivel and to call you if they ever need any little thing.
Well it does if you have custody. She can't force you to let them stay at her place.Sorry but that would never fly in the courts
You can't assume the worst about the new guy unless you can also assume the best. You have no information to base your opinion on. Give the dude a shot. Try to make it work, don't work to make it not.No, it was as amicable. a split as possible, we used a mediator vs battling atty
And we agreed to 50/50
You can teach kids but that’s doesn’t mean he’s a good guy and won’t do anything
No I think if you didn't do it you would feel worse. Besides it's always best to know for sureWife and I have been separated now divorced for 1yr this month
Is it over the top for me to ask to have BK check done?
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You can't assume the worst about the new guy unless you can also assume the best. You have no information to base your opinion on. Give the dude a shot. Try to make it work, don't work to make it not.
Well it does if you have custody. She can't force you to let them stay at her place.
I'm speaking from experience... I did not let my daughter stay with her mom because she's a dirtbag. She couldn't cry about it because I had custody.