"sun don't shine twice on a skinny dog's ass"

[sonuvaTXgun]

He's making pennies on the dollar compared to what he could be making.

Sent with a sense of notoriety

 

[Bear67]

My ol' Daddy , God Bless his soul, had hundreds of them and sometimes when I use one I get blank stares or maybe a giggle.

We had a girl cousin who was not well endowed up top and Dad would comment that Betty was flatter than two BBs on a ironing board.

I didn't just fall off of the turnip wagon.

He had a champane taste on a beer pocketbook.

Best thing since drop seat underwear.

Best thing since sliced bread.

Its near bout 4 miles to town. High time we painted the barn, It beats a sharp stick in the eye. He could fall up a well. Fast as a turpentined cat. Fat man--Never seen anything that big without John Deere stamped on it. Fat woman--warm in the winter, shade in the summertime. Ugly as homemade soap. So Ugly, her face would stop an eight day clock.

And it goes on and on. I know I don't remember them all but use some old ones without even thinking.

 

[pistolpadre]

Bear.. know I don't remember them all but use some old ones without even thinking. .. No kidding huh.. I find myself saying things that I can't remember the origin of.. bout half way through I do a quick review .. is this going to be embarrassing .. or illegal ..

 

[pistolpadre]

from Jared .. Snapping turtles can die in a fire.. the classic huh?

 

[Charlie]

Right before I would get in trouble, my Daddy used to say .................." Your breedin' scabs, boy!"

 

[orbitup]

We had a girl cousin who was not well endowed up top and Dad would comment that Betty was flatter than two BBs on a ironing board.

2 asprins on an ironing board.

tennis balls in a sock.

fried eggs on a nail.

 

[Waterguy]

"Clean as a whistle"

Has anyone ever thought about that? I mean, how clean could it be with someone blowing spit in it all day?

 

[pistolpadre]

"Clean as a whistle"

Has anyone ever thought about that? I mean, how clean could it be with someone blowing spit in it all day?

Nope.. hadn't thought of it, and yeah pretty much just spit in there to be clean huh, great one... Charlie.. I usta here that same thing, brings back memories big time.. breed'n "whatever" and none of it was good.. breed'n scabs... yep..

 

[tmd11111]

I could bust a steel ball with a rubber hammer.

 

[orbitup]

Close? Close only counts in horseshoes and hand-grenades.

 

[Charlie]

It ain't fair? You know what fair is boy? It's where little old ladies take their preserves every year to be judged!

(What my Daddy would say when I complained about something.)

 

[orbitup]

"Dad, it hurts when I breathe."

"Quit breathing."

 

[Charlie]

"Dad, it hurts when I breathe."

"Quit breathing."

Our Dads must have been related!

 

[orbitup]

Our Dads must have been related!

He was a great guy. He just enjoyed being a smart ass. Guess that's where I got it.

 

[Charlie]

It must be a genetic thing.

 

[orbitup]

Beats being a dumb ass.

 

[Charlie]

Sometimes being a smart ass turns into being a dumbass............. don't ask me how I know.

 

[pistolpadre]

Glad were talking about this, and for someone who things we're hijacking the thread.. IT'S MY THREAD.. braahhaa

Pop had a thing about "bow's" on the table, if (ok when) i forgot and put mine on the table he'd grab a stalk of celery and SMACK. across my cheek.. man it stung.. i was a slow learner so this happened a LOT.. then if i started to tear up he's say "i can give ya something to cry about" .. or "you're breeding a scab on your nose".. Proll'y get arrested for that today.. Neat thing is, and don't know how this works, but he was still the "gentlest" man i've ever known..

ok new expressions.. heard this one before "you better get a move on before you start gathering dust" , and this one for the first time at Wmart last week.. guy talking to his wife in front of him.. "hey hold your horses, my speed dials busted"

 

[BIGPAPIGREG]

"man your sucking hind tit.....again"

 

[Acera]

Two wrongs don't make a right, however two Wrights did make an airplane.

Gonna fix it until it's broke.

He's a happy-go-lucky kind of guy.