stupid stuff "we" do.. least i do..

[pistolpadre]

Here's the deal, this could be a REAL fun topic, if, and this is a big IF! we all pony up to the bar and tell story's the sort of dumb s..t stuff that you can tell on your self, but if someone tells it on you your ready to hook. i know this much, we all have some great ones, and some of the most fun ive ever had (legally) is sitting in a VFW, and listening to guys tell stories about themselves, and the stupid stunts they've pulled.

To get the ball rolling this is exactly what i'm talking about.. a stupid stunt i pulled.. (i know amazing, but it happens.. yep i have a couple stories in this category) so here goes.

I fished the TV remote out of the sink last year (actually a reasonable excuse for it being in the sink) so i strip the battery's quick, and water is still pouring out of it. I think OK, maybe if i use a bit of centrifugal force i can get it dry, so spend three or four minutes imitating a propeller, wife is laughing so hard im worried she's going to stroke out on me..

No success, and thinking its a goner anyway, so (this is gospel.. told ya'all that's no play zone) i stick it in the microwave.. Figure 20 sec "should" be about right... as again.. flat out'a options.. sure enough 20 sec's is enough for the microwave to get that pleasant smell of burnt rubber/electrics..

When i called direct tv the guy got laughing so hard he sent us two remotes, and tells me to turn on 537 he's got a gift for me.. I had free show time for three months..

Another time i'm helping a friend back in Ill.. i boogied out of there in 78 while i was still in my twenties, and not back since... Illinois has basements.. their cold.. and not worth much unless you fix them up as game rooms.. the ceilings have the pluming exposed.. yeah it's a look you wont find in better homes and gardens.. but if you have a problem.. it's great.. He had a problem.. the sewer line was blocked.. this is a big ol black PVC pipe that had a clean out / inspection plate every 10-12 ft.. for a reason.. I'm no plumber, but smart enough to know you take the plate off and check. i did..and the block was RIGHT THERE so with a big king of the plumber ego. i yell out.. "hey Bill. Got your problem".. then for some reason that goes back to neanderthal days.. (would'a been the one eaten) i turned my wrench around.. can you guys all see this one coming from like New Mexico.. stuck the handle in the .."mass of brown".. directly over me..

I got shit on.. big time.. seems like the whole blockage came down at the same time...funny story now.. but as i remember it "not" at the time.. i had it in my ears..

ok your turn..

 

[TXDARKHORSE361]

LMAO, ok I'll play. This one comes from my high school days, you know when you would get stupid drunk on whatever you could get your hands on. We were drinking at a buddies place and had a fire going in the back yard (relax controlled burn pit area on a few acres), usually just sat around drinking, playing guitar, screwing around like high school kids do. Somehow we get on this kick of throwing stuff in the fire, old AA batteries and whatnot well somehow someone sees a metal pipe and a can of spray paint and first thing that comes to mind is lets launch this thing. So there we are about 7 or 8 high school guys (the girls had enough common sense to call it a night and go home or inside), two guys stick this pipe in the fire and another drops the can of spray paint down the tube like a mortar.......well by this point the "hey sticking a metal pipe in a fire will make said pipe get very very hot" sense kicked in and the guys holding the pipe up scream "it's hot" and drop the pipe. Dur, but now this pipe has just landed pointing towards the other 5 of us, we respond by running away but due to the alcohol we're just running straight back still right in front of this thing. I realize this and grab my buddy to the left of me and pull him of to the right where we duck down behind an old boat that has become lawn art, then the boom, heard that can go whizzing by straight for the other three who kept running straight. Buddy of mine swears it went right between his legs.

I've got plenty as well just a matter of owning up to em.

 

[BIGPAPIGREG]

Quick one: Not too long ago I......I mean someone locked my keys in my truck. Was sooo mad at "them". I found/made a slim jim and after about 15 min. the door was open...............wait for it...........yep, the passenger side door was, not only unlocked, but the window was down.....I don't know what happened to me, I used to be good.

 

[RstyShcklfrd]

I was playing Quarters with a bunch of people back in college. I was known for being one of the faster drinkers back then, and sure enough, I swallowed the quarter in a race to win. I called the ER at the local hospital asking them if I was going to die, they thought I was joking, but told me I'd probably be okay.

 

[Jherico]

War games with Sweatshirts, goggles and BB guns (pellet guns allowed with only one pump). Hurt like hell.

Pipe bombs from gunpowder. Lucky, and I mean LUCKY to have all my limbs.

Tennis Ball Cannons. Made with steel soup cans and reinforced. Used Calcium Carbide + H2O to create Acetylene gas as the charge. About a 6 foot flame flash and the tennis ball would simply disappear into the distance. We could only shoot in once cause the report was so loud.

Skydived for many years. Often miss it.

 

[GlockOwner]

When I was about 13, my brother and a friend from down the street were hanging out in my backyard. We had an old, beat up, wooden picket fence and our neighbor also had a wooden picket fence (nearly brand new). Well in between the 2 fences, there was enough space for a skinny kid to walk. Since the wooden cross bars of both fences were on the inside, we had the bright idea of walking along those cross bars....and it eventually turned into a race on who could run along the crossbars to the end of the fence the fastest. Well my friend had just beat my time and I was determined to get the top time back. As soon as my brother yelled "GO" I took a step and missed the cross bar and fell. The only problem was that a nail sticking out of our old beater of a fence caught me in the lower back and cut me all the way up as I fell. I screamed in pain, and before I even had time to climb back out, my step-grandfather stuck his head out of the backdoor and yelled for us to stop before someone gets hurt......a little late at that point. Luckily it wasn't very deep, and I immediately went across the street to show these girls that lived across the street from me. I still have the scar.

 

[ZX9RCAM]

I was about 18 & my car was making a funny noise I wanted a guy I worked with to hear.
I didn't want to turn it off because if I did it might not make the noise when I came back out with him.
I left it running, but I was afraid somebody might steal it, so before I went inside, I ..............locked the doors of course...dooooooooooooooh!

 

[Sugar Land]

Damn Cam...lol

 

[Das Jared]

Making my own jackass movies with my friends. Using ice chests and a piece of plywood as our bike ramps. Jumping off of roofs on bikes. Doing 200mph on the beltway feeder in a 1200rwhp supra

Sent from my A500 using Tapatalk 2

 

[benenglish]

Damn Cam...lol

Is that so bad? I was going to tell the entire stories but I guess it's best that I just leave it at: I've locked the keys in my running car twice.

Oh, and one other time I got out of my car at a large event at the Dome, got distracted, and walked off leaving the car running and unlocked.

I blame my dad. I don't know how many times we helped him find his glasses on top of his head. I inherited that gene.

 

[ZX9RCAM]

LOL Ben!

 

[Jakashh]

When I was about 13, my brother and a friend from down the street were hanging out in my backyard. We had an old, beat up, wooden picket fence and our neighbor also had a wooden picket fence (nearly brand new). Well in between the 2 fences, there was enough space for a skinny kid to walk. Since the wooden cross bars of both fences were on the inside, we had the bright idea of walking along those cross bars....and it eventually turned into a race on who could run along the crossbars to the end of the fence the fastest. Well my friend had just beat my time and I was determined to get the top time back. As soon as my brother yelled "GO" I took a step and missed the cross bar and fell. The only problem was that a nail sticking out of our old beater of a fence caught me in the lower back and cut me all the way up as I fell. I screamed in pain, and before I even had time to climb back out, my step-grandfather stuck his head out of the backdoor and yelled for us to stop before someone gets hurt......a little late at that point. Luckily it wasn't very deep, and I immediately went across the street to show these girls that lived across the street from me. I still have the scar.

Tetanus!

 

[matefrio]

I was playing Quarters with a bunch of people back in college. I was known for being one of the faster drinkers back then, and sure enough, I swallowed the quarter in a race to win. I called the ER at the local hospital asking them if I was going to die, they thought I was joking, but told me I'd probably be okay.

Ya, stuff like that always works it's self out ...........................in the end..

 

[RstyShcklfrd]

Ya, stuff like that always works it's self out ...........................in the end..

I never searched for it. But I recall one trip to the bathroom that hurt.

 

[Das Jared]

I never searched for it. But I recall one trip to the bathroom that hurt.

You liked the hurt, don't lie.

Sent from my A500 using Tapatalk 2

 

[Dhayes]

LOL you guys are killing me

 

[matefrio]

CO2 cartridges and black gunpowder. Bike tube over filled with O2 and covered with gas and set on fire. Iodine crystals and pure rubbing alcohol.

16 or 17 years old I worked at a restaurant as a bus boy with some attractive older women in their 20s. One of the gals had gotten pregnant and she was a few months in and showing.

The area we pulled drinks in was narrow so instead of turning around she started backing up and out. After watching this a few times, I don't know what clicked in, but one time when she was backing out I started making "Beep, beep, beep, beep," sounds like a simi truck backing out.

Took a year before the"issue" between her and I was resolved.

 

[matefrio]

You liked the hurt, don't lie.

Sent from my A500 using Tapatalk 2

Don't worry. I bet it came out two dimes and a nickle....

 

[Das Jared]

CO2 cartridges and black gunpowder. Bike tube over filled with O2 and covered with gas and set on fire. Iodine crystals and pure rubbing alcohol.

16 or 17 years old I worked at a restaurant as a bus boy with some attractive older women in their 20s. One of the gals had gotten pregnant and she was a few months in and showing.

The area we pulled drinks in was narrow so instead of turning around she started backing up and out. After watching this a few times, I don't know what clicked in, but I started making "Beep, beep, beep, beep," sounds like a simi truck backing out.

Took a year before the"issue" between her and I was resolved.

Explain further on the first two. I have a lot of land see..

Sent from my A500 using Tapatalk 2

 

[Dhayes]

Don't worry. I bet it came out two dimes and a nickle....

5 nickels probably would have hurt more