"sun don't shine twice on a skinny dog's ass"

[orbitup]

Bad paint job on a car - That looks like it was painted with a dead chicken.

 

[BIGPAPIGREG]

Me to my wife, about our living room at Christmas: "hony it looks like a snowman threw up in here"

 

[orbitup]

She's like my pinky toe, I've banged her on every piece of furniture in the house.

 

[BIGPAPIGREG]

She's like my pinky toe, I've banged her on every piece of furniture in the house.

Thats a good one, never herd it till now

 

[GrandpaOf18]

Rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6

 

[scap99]

Cut it to fit, paint it to match.

 

[scap99]

**** the fucking fuckers, before they fucking **** you.

 

[Acera]

Measure twice, cut once.

 

[sonuvaTXgun]

**** the fucking fuckers, before they fucking **** you.

Spare no curse words. Lol

Sent from my SCH-I535 using Xparent Green Tapatalk 2

 

[Dawico]

Like throwing a hotdog down a hallway

Wouldn't f@@k her with your dick and him pushing

You're f@@king the dog, I am just holding the tail

Couldn't get laid in a woman's prison with a fist full of pardons

One of my personal favorites, if you can't tie a knot, tie a lot

 

[GrandpaOf18]

Keep the dirty side down, and between the lines

 

[pistolpadre]

"out there where the trains don't run"

FOX's Shep Smith on the Boston bombers mom..

 

[sonuvaTXgun]

"uglier than the east end of a horse headed west"

"couldn't hit a barn if you were on the inside with the door closed"

"you look like you have been drug through a knot hole backwards"

"colder than a well-digger's feet in Alaska"

 

[orbitup]

I buy you books, send you to school, and all you do is chew on the covers.

 

[pistolpadre]

So bad ass that you have to sneak up on a glass of water?..

from one of those "the cool kids" out there in the post whore thread.. angela and or sugerland..

 

[mark1916]

"you can feed a coyote all the chili you want but it ain't gonna sh*t diamonds!"

 

[scap99]

Spare no curse words. Lol

Sent from my SCH-I535 using Xparent Green Tapatalk 2

Spare the rod, make Jakashh sad.

 

[scap99]

Driven like a bent nail

Rode hard, put up wet.

You look like a struck match.

 

[scap99]

Pour some gas on it and wrap it with duct tape.

 

[tmd11111]

Couldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat.