What's The Best GUN JOKE u got????

[hoytinak]

tex45acp,

Thanks for sharing that, I haven't laughed that hard in years....I was actually crying I was laughing so hard.

 

[DarkRook]

Wow. You must be the only gun owner in United States who did not know that quote.

No, I had heard it before. But it’s like this.
Just because you hear something from a stupid person that does not mean that you need to remember it.
Where as in contrast if a smart person where to say something insightful. One would do well to remember that information.
I myself have learned many things just by listening to persons that where older and with much greater experience then I.
I can only recall few things that I have ever learned from watching or listening to someone that was not the brightest light bulb in the box.
And that was “well that was not a good ideal, that hurt, that was stupid of me, and aaaaahhhhaaa – what happened?”.
I have found none of these to ever very helpful. In most cases I figured they were not good ideals before I carried them out.

 

[DarkRook]

That was really funny; I know what you mean by that hurt.

In a flee market with my wife and son. My wife and I were talking cuz I wanted to get her one and we were comparing the zapper to the pepper spray.
Then my son who thought it would be funny stuck the thing to my butt and fired it off. I must have jumped 4 foot off the floor and 6 foot forward, and it also must have scared him, cuz when I turned around he had already putting it back on the table and had started tearing up, most likely cuz he knew he was in trouble. Just in case you’re wondering, he was 12.
Now just for the record, those persons that know me well and know my kids, thing my kids are Angles. Cuz my kids are very well behaved.
Now my first thought is “your about to feel the sting of this thing”. Then I thought better of it and took other corrective actions.

Let’s just say he is still weary of any little black boxes to date.

 

[Blue Dog]

tex45acp is this a true story?

 

[Blue Dog]

opps!!

 

[Nodena Ranger]

That is an extremely humorous story....Now ya' know Tex45...If you want that one second treatment, get your wife or your buddy to pull the trigger. Let us know how that works out for ya'........Ha

 

[lonewolf23c]

That's the funniest thing I've heard in a while. Should have tried it on the dog, course the dog would probably never come near you again, or better yet use it on the kids, they'll learn real quick to mind, and behave.

 

[perchjerk]

LOL! that was quite entertaining to say the least! ill have to let my roomate read that cause im sure he would appreciate that! lol! my day is now comlete!

 

[tex45acp]

I am glad you all liked it. The first time I read it, like Hoytinak, I was laughing so hard I was in tears. Even a few days later just thinking about it made me laugh out loud. If it is a true story, I am glad the guy has the common sense to not list his name.

But here is something for thought......how many times has something like this happend to you. You know something that small could never really do any damage.....right??? My own experience was when I first stuck a transistor radio battery (for you younguns in the bunch, it's the same battery used in most smoke detectors in your home) to my tongue to see if it had any juice left. I was about 10 years old and I realized instantly that I had done something wrong....but that was being young....right???

 

[brickboy240]

The best gun joke?

Walk into Gander Mountain and glance at their gun and ammo prices...if you're not laughing...theres soemthing wrong with you!

- brickboy240

 

[DarkRook]

The best gun joke?

Walk into Gander Mountain and glance at their gun and ammo prices...if you're not laughing...theres soemthing wrong with you!

- brickboy240

:1zhelp:
I'm not laughing, i'm crying, ever see a grown man cry. Its not pretty.

 

[Rob1796]

Heckler and Koch, because you suck, and we hate you.

An open letter to the gun community from HK’s marketing department:

In a world of compromises, some people put the bullets in the magazine backwards…But it doesn’t matter, because our gun is on the cover of the Rainbow Six video games. Look how cool that SEAL coming out of the water looks… If you buy a $2,000 SOCOM, you will be that cool of an operator too. And chicks will dig you.

At HK, we stuck a piston on an AR15, just like a bunch of other companies have done, dating back to about 1969. However ours is better, because we refuse to sell it to civilians. Because you suck, and we hate you.

Our XM8 is the greatest rifle ever developed. It may melt, and it doesn’t fit any accessories known to man, but that is your fault. If you were a real operator, you would love it. Once again, look at Rainbow Six, that G36 sure is cool isn’t it? Yeah, you know you want one.And by the way, check out our new HK45. We decided that humans don’t need to release the magazine with their thumbs. If you were a really manly teutonic operator, you would be able to reach the controls. Plus we’ve fired 100,000,000 rounds through one with zero malfunctions, and that was while it was buried in a lake of molten lava, on the moon. If you don’t believe us, it is because you aren’t a real operator.

By the way, our cheap, mass-produced, stamped sheet metal guns like the G3 and MP5 are the bestest things ever, and totally worth asinine scalpers prices, but note that cheap, mass-produced, stamped sheet metal guns from other countries are commie garbage. Not that it matters, because you’re civilians, so we won’t sell them to you anyway. Because you suck, and we hate you, but we know you’ll be back. We can beat you down like a trailer park wife, but you’ll come back, you always do.

Buy our stuff.

Sincerely

HK Marketing DepartmentHK. Because you suck. And we hate you.

 

[DarkRook]

Here is a new one I just got. I do wish they would use it. I'd even pay for the ammo...

 

[lonewolf23c]

Here is a new one I just got. I do wish they would use it. I'd even pay for the ammo...

That's funny. I bet those retarded anti-gun morons would actually fire it that way, and wonder how come they shot themselves.

 

[Roman383]

Here is a new one I just got. I do wish they would use it. I'd even pay for the ammo...

Hahaha that's awesome.

 

[cbunt1]

That's the funniest thing I've heard in a while. Should have tried it on the dog, course the dog would probably never come near you again, or better yet use it on the kids, they'll learn real quick to mind, and behave.

Along those same lines...(not to hijack the thread)...

The Taseler™ for KIDS!

--Chris

 

[Sanity is Curable]

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.
You are carrying a Glock in cal. 45 ACP, and you are an quality shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

THINK CAREFULLY:


Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican's Answer:

BANG!


Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click. Reload.

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy!

Son: "Can I shoot the next one? Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Golden Sabers?"

Wife: "You ain't takin' that to the Taxidermist!

 

[lonewolf23c]

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.
You are carrying a Glock in cal. 45 ACP, and you are an quality shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

THINK CAREFULLY:


Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican's Answer:

BANG!


Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click. Reload.

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy!

Son: "Can I shoot the next one? Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Golden Sabers?"

Wife: "You ain't takin' that to the Taxidermist!

I've heard this one before, but its still just as good as the first time I heard it. Its also very true.

 

[NavyMexican]

For sale:
100 crates of french rifles.
Never been fired only dropped twice.

 

[busdriver72]