stupid stuff "we" do.. least i do..

[Ole Cowboy]

OK TimberWolf I will see your motel and raise you a motel.

No sex but funny: I am at the motel on Ft Lewis. I am there TDY and its early spring about 9 pm. Up there everything has windows as its cool and my windows are open, I am in the shower. Suddenly a CRACK and what sounds like an explosion, lights go out but the emergency lights come on. WTH, I step out of the shower in the dark, head full of shampoo, grab a towel and like most motel towels it barely wraps around me, barely. There is an incredible storm, rain is pouring and lighting popping. The motel is enclosed with hallways and doors all opening into the hall. I find the door in the the light from the lighting and open it, the dim emergency lights are on. I step out holding my towel and look to see if things are ok, building on fire etc...all of a sudden B A N G and I am slapped in the butt by the closing of my door behind me almost knocking me down and I drop my towel. Doors is auto lock and about now other doors are beginning to open.

There I stand shampoo, size X Small towel not even completely covering me, locked of my room and folks are shinning flashlights at me. Even in the din of the super storm folks are laughing louder. I ask someone to go to the front desk and get a key. He comes back in a few min and they won't give him a key unless he shows ID. I got no stinkin ID.
I have no other choice but to go downstairs to the desk. They will not give me a key because I have no stinkin ID. They call the MP's. Now here I am, near nekkid, no shoes, no shirt and certainly no service, MP's ask for the key and I lead them to my room, they go in first fo course then I and I get my wallet and military ID with foto...they laugh HARD like the rest of the motel is doing as everyone is out in the halls since the rooms are dark.

​

 

[ROGER4314]

OK....since this is for stupid stuff, I'll post one that I've never divulged before.

In Tulsa, I was intimate with a lady named Diane. We dated for quite a while when her brother and his girlfriend rolled into town from New York City. I should have seen this coming when he arrived with bullet holes in his car! The boy had been up to no good!

Tim and I had one confrontation where he had a .44 magnum single action and attempted to snuff me. Diane talked him down and all ended well. He even gave me a bullet from the gun as a keepsake. How's that for F'ing stupid on my part? We all decided that a "make peace" get together would be a good idea. Again....stupid!

Diane and I showed up at his brothers apartment where he and the GF set up housekeeping. We were all drinking and I had my arm around Diane seated on the couch. Tim was a big SOB. He walked up to me and said "GET UP!" followed by "You're not leaving here 'til you fight me." I tried to laugh it off and make a joke out of it but he wasn't buying it.

The fight started and I kicked him between the eyes.....several times. I was a "headhunter" as a fighter which is risky but sometimes when you smash a face with your foot, the fight drains out of the enemy. It didn't work with Tim! Each time he shook his head and came at me again. I knew I was in some shit because I kicked him HARD but it didn't slow him down! He lunged at me and I took him by the head and threw him onto a glass coffee table. Tables, lamps, chairs were flying in all directions with the two women screaming bloody murder!

I took him down again using one of the throws my judo instructor (the late Matthew C.) taught me but lost my footing and went down, too. I broke the end off of one of my wrist bones when I hit the floor. To this day, when I make a fist, the first two fingers of that hand don't come all the way into the fist.

By then, the two women screamed enough to get things stopped and both of us were pretty messed up. There was a lot of broken furniture, to clean up, too.

That wasn't the best fight I was in but it was in the top 3-4! It was NOT one of my brightest moves, either. I should have KNOWN that guy was trouble, should have seen it coming and stayed to Hell away! I was about 27 or 28 and darned sure should have known better!

Flash

 

[pistolpadre]

Sage.. Blood was flowing pretty freely and again with the eyes watering and snot flowing. Punched the car a couple of times for pissing me off and finished the job before I cleaned up the blood and checked out the damage.[/QUOTE]

Some things you just get a "visual" on, and crying funny..

 

[DMC]

CO2 cartridges and black gunpowder. Bike tube over filled with O2 and covered with gas and set on fire. Iodine crystals and pure rubbing alcohol.

We called the co2 cartridges with black powder and cannon fuse "Crater makers". They were fun just by themselves, excellent for fishing by the way! We went a little far when we built an air cannon to launch them. 100psi air cannon will launch those crater makers over 300 yards and through a wood fence. (side note....compressed air can and will accelerate the burn rate of cannon fuse!)

Another fun thing with crater makers was a 2 liter bottle filled with gasoline with a crater maker and a road flare taped to it. Nothing like an atomized particle explosion!

Out of date ocean search and rescue smoke bombs still work. If you duck tape them to your friends truck bumper and tie the pull pin to a brick just about the time they are leaving the school parking lot the orange smoke starts and continues for the next 8 to 10 minutes. You can't out run a smoke bomb tapped to your truck but you can shut down a highway for 20 minutes or so.

I have to go now theres a guy at the door screaming "ATF open up!", better see what he wants.

 

[Das Jared]

We called the co2 cartridges with black powder and cannon fuse "Crater makers". They were fun just by themselves, excellent for fishing by the way! We went a little far when we built an air cannon to launch them. 100psi air cannon will launch those crater makers over 300 yards and through a wood fence. (side note....compressed air can and will accelerate the burn rate of cannon fuse!)

Another fun thing with crater makers was a 2 liter bottle filled with gasoline with a crater maker and a road flare taped to it. Nothing like an atomized particle explosion!

Out of date ocean search and rescue smoke bombs still work. If you duck tape them to your friends truck bumper and tie the pull pin to a brick just about the time they are leaving the school parking lot the orange smoke starts and continues for the next 8 to 10 minutes. You can't out run a smoke bomb tapped to your truck but you can shut down a highway for 20 minutes or so.

I have to go now theres a guy at the door screaming "ATF open up!", better see what he wants.

Care to esplain how to do the crater makers

sent from my dishwasher

 

[benenglish]

we were all raised the same way

No, we weren't. When I was 14, I was grown. My parents respected me as much as I respected them.

...

That was a great example of something stupid being done. And, showing more restraint than I've been able to muster in many a moon, I'll leave it at that.

 

[Ole Cowboy]

Well DMC speaking of things that go bang:

The 3 of us were about 15 or so and spending the night out in the barn on the grandparents old Diary. They still ran a few cattle on it but long gone are the days of it being a dairy. We discovered a box of TNT along with some fuse. Well this ought to be fun we thought. We grabbed about 4 sticks or so and headed out across the farm to blow up something. We had a few hundred acres to roam in but did not find much of anything to blowup. Finally its getting late afternoon, we are cold (its Dec Christmas break) and hungry. We are heading back. Hey look, there is a pond and old watering hole for the diary. We had wrapped up the 4 or so sticks and we ran a decent piece of waterproof fuse down a few of them, twisted it and lit it. I had the honor of throwing it as I was the biggest guy and had a good throwing arm.

We are standing on the bank and I threw the dynomite into the pond...we are standing there laughing and looking as it sinks...in a few seconds KA BOOM. The pond was small and shallow and a WAVE of water and mud washed over us while raining more mud and water for what seemed to be minutes. Fish are flopping we were blown across the ground, soaked, muddy, somewhat bruised and where the pond was is now a crater lake. It was heard all the way to the house.

​

 

[Stumpy]

Yalls is some fools.


Sent from the mind of a genius. Forrealz.

 

[M. Sage]

Well DMC speaking of things that go bang:

The 3 of us were about 15 or so and spending the night out in the barn on the grandparents old Diary. They still ran a few cattle on it but long gone are the days of it being a dairy. We discovered a box of TNT along with some fuse. Well this ought to be fun we thought. We grabbed about 4 sticks or so and headed out across the farm to blow up something. We had a few hundred acres to roam in but did not find much of anything to blowup. Finally its getting late afternoon, we are cold (its Dec Christmas break) and hungry. We are heading back. Hey look, there is a pond and old watering hole for the diary. We had wrapped up the 4 or so sticks and we ran a decent piece of waterproof fuse down a few of them, twisted it and lit it. I had the honor of throwing it as I was the biggest guy and had a good throwing arm.

We are standing on the bank and I threw the dynomite into the pond...we are standing there laughing and looking as it sinks...in a few seconds KA BOOM. The pond was small and shallow and a WAVE of water and mud washed over us while raining more mud and water for what seemed to be minutes. Fish are flopping we were blown across the ground, soaked, muddy, somewhat bruised and where the pond was is now a crater lake. It was heard all the way to the house.

They had TNT, fuse and blasting caps?

 

[Das Jared]

They had TNT, fuse and blasting caps?

You dont need blasting caps for qll tnt. And back then, it was quite common to have and not regulated by the government. It was used for all sorts of things.

sent from my dishwasher

 

[Waterguy]

Ok, so my sis in law is a big Texans fan. I found a way to get her and my nephew some field seats tickets for a preseason game.
Well, while I was at there house delivering the surprise tickets, We all set in the kitchen having a glass of tea talking. She has a 3 year old little girl,prettiest little thing you ever saw, anyway.
She had her cup of punch doing her best to be the main topic of conversation.
In the process, the punch she was holding some how left her hand and landed on the table where the tickets were.
Well needless to say they seemed to attract all the punch that was spilled. After drying them the best we could.
I had a great idea, Lets put them in the microwave! That should dry them fast. Well it did dry them fast, but not knowing what "thermal paper" was at the time, or that the tickets were printed on said paper. The tickets turn a very nice shade of chorcole black.
As luck would have it, the ser.number of each ticket could still be made out, and we were able to get them replaced.

 

[Ole Cowboy]

They had TNT, fuse and blasting caps?

You will find explosives on most farms. Back in those days you just picked up a box at the Feed and tractor store. You use a 1/4 stick to remove stumps on your land in order to develop pastures or for growing crops. Even today its fairly easy to get. I have an Argi #, state Drivers Lic, then sign some paperwork. If you don't have an Agri # you are going no place.

​

 

[Das Jared]

You will find explosives on most farms. Back in those days you just picked up a box at the Feed and tractor store. You use a 1/4 stick to remove stumps on your land in order to develop pastures or for growing crops. Even today its fairly easy to get. I have an Argi #, state Drivers Lic, then sign some paperwork. If you don't have an Agri # you are going no place.

​

Winner winner chicken dinner

sent from my dishwasher

 

[M. Sage]

You dont need blasting caps for qll tnt. And back then, it was quite common to have and not regulated by the government. It was used for all sorts of things.

sent from my dishwasher

What do you mean by "all" TNT? There is only one TNT and it requires caps or something similar to initiate it. Same with dynamite. The stuff will just burn if you put fire to it...

 

[M. Sage]

You dont need blasting caps for qll tnt. And back then, it was quite common to have and not regulated by the government. It was used for all sorts of things.

sent from my dishwasher

What do you mean by "all" TNT? There is only one TNT and it requires caps or something similar to initiate it. Same with dynamite. The stuff will just burn if you put fire to it...

 

[Das Jared]

What do you mean by "all" TNT? There is only one TNT and it requires caps or something similar to initiate it. Same with dynamite. The stuff will just burn if you put fire to it...

Ever stop and think that sometimes you DONT know everything bud? No, not ALL tnt requires caps. I have used tnt before to remove stumps like he stated above. No caps needed. Insert fuse, light, run.

sent from my dishwasher

 

[TimberWolf7.62]

One of my DLB (Dumpy Little Bar) experiences. . .

I had a dive bar I went to at one point, mainly because it had 2 blondes that owned the place and worked the bar and 2 other blondes, one a friend and one a sister of the owners, that were always there.

I hooked up with one of the blondes, Jennifer, on a fairly frequent schedule, but she was in the middle of a divorce or already divorced, or still married, or maybe none of the above.

Anyway, of the 4 blondes, Donna was the hottest. She was one of the owners and was always working. She was very serious, and I never saw her show any interest in any guy. But one night she and Jennifer went out partying and invited me along.

We hit a couple of nightclubs, and I thought things were going along rather well. I flirted with Donna and she responded. I entertained fantasies of a menage a trois later on that night. She was wearing a little black number that either showed a lot of cleavage or a lot of rear. She experimented with pulling it up to show less cleavage and then turned around towards me to have me tell her how much butt it showed. Then she would pull it down to show less butt and have me tell her how much cleavage it showed. It took several viewings for me to decide where the midpoint was, that didn’t show too much of either. Quite a few viewings, as a matter of fact. I told her she should show more rear when she was walking, especially if I was walking behind her, but show more cleavage when we were sitting at a table. She laughed.

So about 1:00 am, we were in one bar in a section of bars and strip clubs. Donna said she was going to go across the street, and for us to meet her there when we finished our drinks. About 20 minutes later, we did.

We looked into a couple of bars and didn’t see her. The next place we went into, there was a girl stripping on stage. Knowing how jealous women get, I made sure that Jennifer could see me not looking at the stripper. I scanned the room and it was full of guys. Not a girl in the place as a customer.

“She’s not here”, I said, yelling over the loud music into Jennifer’s ear.

“Yeah, she is”, she replied. “Look onstage”. ONSTAGE!?!?!

Sure enough, the stripper was Donna. The song was Donna Summer’s “Love to Love You, Baby”, that sounds like she’s having an orgasm, an extended version, not the 20 minute one, but about 10 minutes at least. Jennifer and I sat down, I paid $10 for two beers, and watched the show. To hell with making her jealous now, I was going to watch. I wanted a private showing of Donna, but I was not going to turn down a public one. And the club was fully nude.

After the song, Donna got dressed and came out and sat at our table. She was flushed and perspiring and all hyped up. She smiled at us like “WHEEE! That was fun!”, as if she had just come off of a rollercoaster. Jennifer drained her beer and suggested we go. That was fine with me, I didn’t want to drink too many beers at three times the going price.

As I stood up, it occurred to me that the roomful of guys probably thought I was either rich or a huge stud, or both. None of them had a girl, not one. But me – not only had I walked in there with a hot blonde on my arm, but I obviously knew the even hotter blonde who was totally naked a second ago, and now I was walking out the door with both of them! I would have paid money to know what they were thinking. I couldn’t resist turning to give the room a “yeah, I’m bad” smile. Although I had been drinking, so it probably came out as a not-so-cool, huge, s%^t-eating grin. Either way, I had the girls and they didn’t. I am sure they hated my freakin’ guts.

But Jennifer was pissed at Donna so the menage a trois was obviously a lost cause. She wanted to get me into bed as soon as possible, so as to use sex to wash away the memory of Donna onstage. Right, like you could rub that memory out. I still remember it.

Apparently Donna had danced as a fling, just a one-time deal, and then it was back to working and being serious.

 

[benenglish]

One of my ... experiences.

Where, exactly, in that wall of text is any stupid thing you did? I thought the thread was about "stupid stuff we do" and, well, I just don't see it.

What am I missing?

 

[Ole Cowboy]

Where, exactly, in that wall of text is any stupid thing you did? I thought the thread was about "stupid stuff we do" and, well, I just don't see it.

What am I missing?

Maybe he thinks walking out of a strip joint with 2 babes hanging on him like cheap suits is stupid...guess you were right, what am I missing? LOL

​

 

[TimberWolf7.62]

Well, you know, now that you mention it . . . . I guess I was just disappointed that I didn't get the threesome.